The unfortunate day that I will never forget in my life, I was at work doing my thing, when PHCN struck. No electricity in the entire plaza and the Mikano generator won't come on.

So, all work for the day was grounded. I was hot and bored but there's no alternative.

As I dey inside heat, pressing my phone, this lady walked into my office. She worked in a travel agency that was also in same plaza. We talk frequently, so it was cool.

Apparently, her work was grounded too, so she came to gist with me in my office. No big deal, we're chatting!

After about 30 minutes of talking about Nigeria and electricity, she asked if I was hot and I said yes. That, ladies and gentlemen was the beginning of the day's unfortunateness. ���

If only I had said no, maybe I would not have put myself in this trouble.

As soon as I said yes, she suggested; "Since we can't even work now, how about we step out for some ice-cream?"

Trying to sound bougie and all, emi omo Mushin, I said; "Oh, no shit, let's do this. Good idea!"

Nah, fam. It was a bad idea. A terrible one at it... ���

In my head, I was thinking; "Ok, we take a stroll to underbridge and buy FanYogo, then come back to the office to suck nylon till the ice-cream turns to ice-block."

Didn't know that aunty had other plans. I didn't realize it was going to be bigger than that.

Well, she said; "How about we go to Coldstone?"

That was the first time in my life I heard that word. I mean, for someone who served an entire year in Kwara state for NYSC, when did Fashola create Coldstone?

This one must be new but no shit, let us go there! Haaaa......

We set out. Took keke from underbridge to Toyin street. You know that Coldstone on Toyin street? Yea, that one. That was where I almost met my waterloo. ���

While in the Keke, I was wondering why we had to go this far for ordinary ice-cream ooo... Hmmmm!

How much de my pocket? #1, 250 or so with some 10-10 Naira notes.

I did a quick maths.

Keke to Toyin street = N50 x 2.
Ice-cream, las las = N400 x 2.
Keke back to underbridge = N50 x 2.
Total = 1k.

Use remaining change go house after work. Perfect date, iyalaya anybody! ��

Issssorrai, Pedro do your thing.

We got to the place, fear first hook me. The place fiiiine dieee. Na there I come de reason say, as this place fine like this, you sure say the ice-cream nor go cost pass your budget?

Devil whispered to me; "Calm down guy, no wahala!" Ok o!

We got closer and I was seeing the kind of cars that were parked outside. Honda Crosstour, Toyota Muscle, Honda Evil Spirit.

Sebi it was at that point that I was supposed to know that this place don de pass my level but mumu me, MUMU ME, I was heeding the Devil's advice. ���

The babe was already talking about flavours. Make I nor lie, everything she was saying was not making sense to me. Talmbout; "What flavour will you like", "Are you mixing?", "You'll like their signature flavour."

Ogbeni koshidanu, bo se n se e, ko lo n se mi... ���

We got to the entrance, and the security opened door for us and said; "Welcome to Coldstone" while smiling. Na there the real shit hook me.

Guuuuuy, they're opening door for you because of ice-cream.

Was it not there, I should have taken to my heels? No, overconfidence ti poju!

MUMU Meeeee ooooo... I nodded at the guy as we walked in.

My legs were trembling but I had to stay calm, so as not to disgrace my entire lineage. I suspected that I had bitten more than I could chew but I felt it is all just aesthetics, the ice-cream fit no cost like that.

So, we joined the queue. TBH, I was just looking at the ice-cream inside the showglass & it seemed the different flavours were screaming; "RUN, RUN, my niggah, RUN!"

But hey, it was too late. Besides, how expensive can it be sef? Abeg, e nor fit cost. Las las 500 Naira, lobatan!

It got to our turn. The babe started to place order.

"Hi, let me have Chocolate and Cream with Waffles and Gummy Bears."

Dem begin pack the thing put inside cup. The ice-cream Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiccccc like Aminat

While she was ordering, I was confused AF. I didn't know what to order for a while until I saw Hennessy Flavour.

Aha! 3 in 1.

Lick ice-cream, cool down the heat and then still get high on top!

Oh my, "Please, ba n ko ice-cream oni shayo." ����

I got the Ice-Cream.

"Hello, ba mi fi epa si dear."

Dem pour am groundnut. Correct!

"What's that?"

She say na Brownie.

"Ok, put am.

Dem put every on top. Ice-cream be looking like Ojubo Esu...

Then, came the big moment.

"Oh yea, you may now approach the counter for payment."

LMFAOOOOOOoooooooooo... Ara adugbo, e wa ba mi sukun. ���

She started pressing the computer & it felt like she was pressing my destiny.

The number was just going up and it seemed like she had no plans to stop.

Haaaaa! Pim 1,300, Pim 2,500, Pim 2,800, Pim 3,100, Pim 3,500, Pim 3,800, Pim 4,200..........

And she kept pressing. ���

Haaaaaaaaa... Mo ti shi ice-cream mu!

I was now trying to remember if I prayed in the morning before leaving the house. You know I usually say the "Olorun ma je ki n pade alakoba" prayer every day.

Be like the prayer angel for that day dey off duty! ���

Ogun akoba adaba leleyi ooo, lorii pe a fe mu ice-cream...

Elo ni FanYogo nitori Olorun

She finally said 4,800 is your bill Sir. I could not do anything but think about how that same amount would have gotten me like 50 litres of FanIce... ���

Haaa, mo shi ice-cream mu!

I literally broke it down right there mentally...

At @BarEnclave, Heineken meji = 800.
Turkey = 400.
One extra Heineken for the road = 400.
Tip Zino = 200.
Everything = 1,800.

Haaaa... Mo ti se mistake... I entered "Had i known" state of mind immediately.

LMFAOOoooooooo... My life flickered in front of me!

How much is my salary Elo ni mo n gba

See ehn, I was already looking for Coldstone apron to wear. I can clean table well. In fact, I have a PhD in Waitership.

E dakun, e saanu aje. Mi o ni se bee mooo! ����

I can come and do internship here.

Take this thing back plis dear.

Well, to cut the long story short, I had my ATM card with me. I gave her the card and there goes my 8,500 life savings.

O dun mi because I ignored all the signs from the beginning. Ori mi o pe at all.

I have not even given her the card, GTB already deducted the 4,800.

Awon eranko jatijati... ���

I know that bank had been planning my downfall since the day I asked them to deactivate SMS because of monthly SMS charges. Won get mi... ���

After paying, I felt my soul left my body. Meanwhile, the babe was already digging into her ice-cream. No, my guardian angel forsook me that day.

He left me to suffer in silence.

We went to sit at the available space and the babe started chattering about how delicious the ice-cream was.

LMFAOOOOoooooo... Sweet ice-cream come dey taste like chalk for my mouth.

I swear 100 Naira FanIce inside the confines of my office would have tasted better.

TBH, I'm sure the ice-cream tasted great but the depression in my soul didn't allow me enjoy it. I was just tasting Akamu wey Sugar no dey. ���

A whole 4,800 just go like that because I wanted to form bougie...

Halfway into the ice-cream, the babe now said; "We should have ordered Pizza o."

See ehn, it took God-level self control to not reply her because, in my mind, I was like; "PIZZA? PIZZAAAAaaa AEFBJN OFSRBRKN OYWRN"

You want to add to my sorrow

For like 1 hour, I was there taking the ice-cream bit by bit because, meeeeehn, I am not rushing this thing. I will take my time and enjoy the AC here. I must enjoy my money.

I kept imagining the kind of soup my mother would have cooked with 4,800.

I asked God for forgiveness!
Happy weekend remember don't go forming posh