Good evening NairaLanders....
I need y'all opinion on the best thing I can do.
So there's this girl am looking at tying the knot with very soon.
I met her around November last year through a friend and we started dating days after and prior to that she suffered heartbreak with a dude and it was a little bit complex cos she attempted to take her life when it happened and that resulted into her being hospitalized for days.
Considering the fact that I knew how nice she was to the ex boyfriend and how badly the dude treated her, I felt like showing her loads of love and care will result into me being pampered with so much care by her.
So here's the issue,
All her friends are the bitchy type, like girls who kinda depend on guys for everything and live above their means tho I feel like I can transform her as she once told me she can cut off every sort of ties with them if I want but I shrugged that off.
Am super nice to her but she gets to take advantage of that and take me for granted.
She lies so much like she once told me she's coming out from a mall whereas she was leaving a guy's house and when she later confessed she said she escorted a female friend there..
I don't see her to be someone who is trustworthy and I don't even trust her one bit
Her birthday was March and I got her gifts worth a lot of money but even with all that she still told me a guy who once asked her out months ago wanted to take her out for her birthday and she wanna request for permission tho I declined and she apologized for not even refusing the guy's offer.
And she once texted her ex without my knowledge and the dude said he can't wait for them to have romantic moment together and she smiled via an emoji, and even collected money from the dude secretly but she later blocked him off when I requested her to.
Quite a lot of bad things about her but I've never for once commit a crime or did something bad so far so good.
Am always the one telling her this is bad and stuffs like that and no one tells me to do the right thing before I do.
Worse of it all was her ex is the kinda guy that treats lady anyhow and to the best of my knowledge she can't dare to try this with him...
I don't know why me who is the nice and caring guy is going through all this.
And what's bothering me is I'll soon be going to Germany for my masters and I don't even trust her one bit cos she's done a lotta bad stuffs when we're still kinda in the same vicinity.
She's a finalist in a school in Ogun but based in Lagos and I stay in Lagos as well so it's some sort of long distance relationship.
Please NairaLanders just help me out in anyway you can on what to do cos I've not been myself lately and am so bothered about this issue.
Please kindly ignore the punctuation errors and grammars just typing with my phone

My guy rest...dat slip don cut.

Pls you need to answer this honest question......Would you want to marry a LovePeddler with whom the paternity of your kids would be in question in the nearest future?
Pls let go of her you deserve someone BETTER

donbachi:
My guy rest...dat slip don cut.

I don't understand bro....

Olalan:
Pls you need to answer this honest question......Would you want to marry a LovePeddler with whom the paternity of your kids would be in question in the nearest future?
Pls let go of her you deserve someone BETTER

I've always felt like I deserve better but she's always promising to turn a new leaf plus the fact that I don't even know how the next lady will turn out to be.

To avoid stories that touch in future, bro do not ignore the warning signs. Her friends are bitchy, guess u know birds of a feather flock together.

She lies a lot...welcome to a lifetime of deception and uncertainty if you proceed.

N shes ungrateful, after ur gifts, still wanted to meet up with another guy. Dude, she doesn't love you n doesnt respect you. Next!!!

donbachi:
My guy rest...dat slip don cut.

Op follow this guy advice ur ticket don cast.

kelvinboj:

I've always felt like I deserve better but she's always promising to turn a new leaf plus the fact that I don't even know how the next lady will turn out to be.

So because you don't know how the next lady will turn out to be you will like to keep taking thrash and eventually marry her right Even when all is glaring to you right now

Now why will you believe the words of a liar. Shes going to keep promising you wat u wanna hear.

N please set high standards for yourself. You feel you deserve better cos u do. There are so many wonderful ladies out there n some are work in progress but she def doesn't cut it...my take.

kelvinboj:

I've always felt like I deserve better but she's always promising to turn a new leaf plus the fact that I don't even know how the next lady will turn out to be.

Gloriagee:
To avoid stories that touch in future, bro do not ignore the warning signs. Her friends are bitchy, guess u know birds of a feather flock together.

She lies a lot...welcome to a lifetime of deception and uncertainty if you proceed.

N shes ungrateful, after ur gifts, still wanted to meet up with another guy. Dude, she doesn't love you n doesnt respect you. Next!!!

Thanks Gloria I feel you cos all her friends are after is lunch in exotic restaurants and collect money from guys I just don't get it.
Guess any more mistake from her I'll call it quit.

Larryfest:

So because you don't know how the next lady will turn out to be you will like to keep taking thrash and eventually marry her right Even when all is glaring to you right now

Just thinking about all this now sincerely speaking...

Gloriagee:
Now why will you believe the words of a liar. Shes going to keep promising you wat u wanna hear.

N please set high standards for yourself. You feel you deserve better cos u do. There are so many wonderful ladies out there n some are work in progress but she def doesn't cut it...my take.

Thanks sis

When 'mr nice guy' rolls with a slayqueen, heartbreak, heartbreak! OP japaa

I envisage you trying to commit suicide after this snake has finished with you. Oga, just face your Germany movement

Why are you getting emotional over a lady that doesn't seem to care so much about you? She's still in contact with her ex and she has bitchy friends that can easily manipulate her against you. You need to be mentally sane for your masters. She clearly doesn't know what she wants yet. Leave her alone.

Guy,leave her,let her go.You will meet a better girl,maybe in Germany sef.

kelvinboj:
Good evening NairaLanders....
I need y'all opinion on the best thing I can do.
So there's this girl am looking at tying the knot with very soon.
I met her around November last year through a friend and we started dating days after and prior to that she suffered heartbreak with a dude and it was a little bit complex cos she attempted to take her life when it happened and that resulted into her being hospitalized for days.
Considering the fact that I knew how nice she was to the ex boyfriend and how badly the dude treated her, I felt like showing her loads of love and care will result into me being pampered with so much care by her.
So here's the issue,
All her friends are the bitchy type, like girls who kinda depend on guys for everything and live above their means tho I feel like I can transform her as she once told me she can cut off every sort of ties with them if I want but I shrugged that off.
Am super nice to her but she gets to take advantage of that and take me for granted.
She lies so much like she once told me she's coming out from a mall whereas she was leaving a guy's house and when she later confessed she said she escorted a female friend there..
I don't see her to be someone who is trustworthy and I don't even trust her one bit
Her birthday was March and I got her gifts worth a lot of money but even with all that she still told me a guy who once asked her out months ago wanted to take her out for her birthday and she wanna request for permission tho I declined and she apologized for not even refusing the guy's offer.
And she once texted her ex without my knowledge and the dude said he can't wait for them to have romantic moment together and she smiled via an emoji, and even collected money from the dude secretly but she later blocked him off when I requested her to.
Quite a lot of bad things about her but I've never for once commit a crime or did something bad so far so good.
Am always the one telling her this is bad and stuffs like that and no one tells me to do the right thing before I do.
Worse of it all was her ex is the kinda guy that treats lady anyhow and to the best of my knowledge she can't dare to try this with him...
I don't know why me who is the nice and caring guy is going through all this.
And what's bothering me is I'll soon be going to Germany for my masters and I don't even trust her one bit cos she's done a lotta bad stuffs when we're still kinda in the same vicinity.
She's a finalist in a school in Ogun but based in Lagos and I stay in Lagos as well so it's some sort of long distance relationship.
Please NairaLanders just help me out in anyway you can on what to do cos I've not been myself lately and am so bothered about this issue.
Please kindly ignore the punctuation errors and grammars just typing with my phone

Bros people have given you advice, I just want to pen my thoughts.

I am very interested in men/women relationships (very obvious) and I find some things amusing...

Let's assume the OP is all true.

A girl claims to ex a guy because he is bad, disrespectful, abusive bla bla.

Mr. Nice guy comes along and you think she should hold tight to him....

But no.

She contacts Mr. Ex, ask for permission to date Mr. Y, lies, keeps her bitchy friends, doesn't appreciate gifts bla bla.

Can we ask what she really wants?

After reading online and observing people especially ladies talk, I have come to the conclusion that some ladies cannot respect a man who doesn't disrespect/abuse them or have the potential to do so.

That knowledge that this guy has craze sort of keeps them in check.

Dear Mr. OP, your about to be ex-babe is one of them.

1. The nicer you are to women, the more they will disrespect and take you for granted. Women like to have a thrill in their relationships, it keeps their cooch wet for the thriller. That's why she keeps going back to her ex. You probably disgust her with your niceness and acceptance of her numerous shenanigans.

2. You have a problem pedestalising women. They are just flesh and blood like you bro. Their poop stinks like yours. Your babe has bitchy friends and you think she's different from them? Show me your friend and I'll tell you who you are; evil communication corrupts good manners. These are not idle sayings, they contain wisdom. Your babe is just like her friends.
She visited a guy and lied she was at the mall, later she said she accompanied someone there. She's making all these silly comments because she thinks you're silly for not slapping her like her ex would do.
By the way, maybe her ex knew she wasn't worth shît that's why he treated her that way. Are you not curious that she keeps going back to him despite her description of him? Shouldn't she avoid him since she's found a saint in you? Either she likes bad boys, or she's a bad girl or both. And we know you're nice or trying to be. You will get your fingers burnt. I can confidently tell you that the ex dumped her that's why she was heartbroken. That's why she keeps going back tand him at every opportunity.

3. You are trying to change her, does she want to change? You cannot project your preferences on her. Even if she desired changes, she's still prone to falling into old habits occasionally.
You cannot change anybody, they change from within and it can be a difficult and continuous process. Go for someone whose lifestyle is compatible with your preferences. How do you think you can cope with a girlfriend that went out with a suitor, and against your express resistance to the idea. She doesn't even respect you.
She might get change for a while or pretend to change but if you go further and marry her, you're fûcked. Her true colors will resurface when she has secured the ring and name. Don't be foolish.

4. You need to look beyond her packaging and consider if the content of her soul matches your ideal woman. If not move far away from her. She'either toleratingyou or grooming you to her spec of mumu.

5. You need to realize, the nicer you are to a woman the more disrespect she will mete out to you. This one obviously likes her men disrespectful, if you are not that man you need to cut her off asap. You also need to get some fûcking steel because you really don't know how to handle women.

Grow some damn balls, dude

Too many red flags. You don't see a fire and jump in it, do you?

kelvinboj:

Just thinking about all this now sincerely speaking...

guy as u go getmany, forget am

This is quite simple...make the imminent breakup progressive by keeping records. Send her a long email detailing all the bad things she's doing and ask that she changes .

Keep that up each time she messes up until you travel and refuse to come back to her...even she would know that she had it coming . Good luck.

All her friends are the bitchy type, like girls who kinda depend on guys for everything and live above their means tho I feel like I can transform her as she once told me she can cut off every sort of ties with them if I want but I shrugged that off.



men keep repeating the same mistake every second

now tell me why you guys won't come to romance section to say trash because your feathered hearts are damaged?


you don't have sense

Timbuktuo:
1. The nicer you are to women, the more they will disrespect and take you for granted. Women like to have a thrill in their relationships, it keeps their cooch wet for the thriller. That's why she keeps going back to her ex. You probably disgust her with your niceness and acceptance of her numerous shenanigans.

2. You have a problem pedestalising women. They are just flesh and blood like you bro. Their poop stinks like yours. Your babe has bitchy friends and you think she's different from them? Show me your friend and I'll tell you who you are; evil communication corrupts good manners. These are not idle sayings, they contain wisdom. Your babe is just like her friends.
She visited a guy and lied she was at the mall, later she said she accompanied someone there. She's making all these silly comments because she thinks you're silly for not slapping her like her ex would do.
By the way, maybe her ex knew she wasn't worth shît that's why he treated her that way. Are you not curious that she keeps going back to him despite her description of him? Shouldn't she avoid him since she's found a saint in you? Either she likes bad boys, or she's a bad girl or both. And we know you're nice or trying to be. You will get your fingers burnt. I can confidently tell you that the ex dumped her that's why she was heartbroken. That's why she keeps going back tand him at every opportunity.

3. You are trying to change her, does she want to change? You cannot project your preferences on her. Even if she desired changes, she's still prone to falling into old habits occasionally.
You cannot change anybody, they change from within and it can be a difficult and continuous process. Go for someone whose lifestyle is compatible with your preferences. How do you think you can cope with a girlfriend that went out with a suitor, and against your express resistance to the idea. She doesn't even respect you.
She might get change for a while or pretend to change but if you go further and marry her, you're fûcked. Her true colors will resurface when she has secured the ring and name. Don't be foolish.

4. You need to look beyond her packaging and consider if the content of her soul matches your ideal woman. If not move far away from her. She'either toleratingyou or grooming you to her spec of mumu.

5. You need to realize, the nicer you are to a woman the more disrespect she will mete out to you. This one obviously likes her men disrespectful, if you are not that man you need to cut her off asap. You also need to get some fûcking steel because you really don't know how to handle women.

Grow some damn balls, dude

It like brother Anonymous010 has been given a second chance at love and marriage in case anyone found the write up too annoying so in summary this is actually a Prequel to the present story on these same "FAMILY SECTION" about change and two weeks after wedding, humans do know how to repeat history one thing is for sure kelvinboj thinks his been whispered to by the holy spirit and has the life ambition to effect change(i.e you better look for the river and horse story).
P.S My brother it seems your life was initially stress free and you needed adventure and you did not bother asking if your close pals needed love or cash, anyways I believe your helper will soon connect with you and by the way try listening to "F**K YOU" by kizz Daniel.

OP I've been where u are but I was wiser than u r now.
The girl even got pregnant for him and aborted it. Worse sef she was pregnant twice for different guys so she said...
Seriously??! Who's going to be the loser that ends up with her? Definitely not me!
Summary, after much fukking and drilling, the bitch carry again making 3! Today I see her on Facebook and I think someone might end up with this scrap now o

All that I have seen here were red flags.... If she's like how u painted her, how did she managed to be super nice to the ex that u mentioned? Or were u viewing her those days from a distance with ROSE spectacle?

You have pointed out those things u feel u can't tolerate. So why not stay clear from her for your own sanity and hers too? ... It appears u don't want her for keeps.. why prolong it.. or do u actually want her to commit the real suicide if u eventually kick her out?

Or is it that in the near future, u will come back to us and disturb our peace by doing what's in vogue nowadays on nairaland?

Just incase u don't know what I'm talking about, Our fellow family here usually open a thread seeking for advice... And the good and kind hearted experienced ladies and gentlemen will give mostly good advice... Most times when they said let it go especially in a situation like yours, they won't listen to well meaning Nairalanders,

Then in 10 months time u will see something (thread ) like this ... I have been a member of nairaland for 54 yrs.. I created a new account for this story... Since I married my wife she has changed... she insults my mother, she doesn't greet me.. She said diamond before sex..blah blah blah

So with the new account you can't refer him or her back to the old thread...You can't even say carry your cross we told you so... I usually scroll pass anyone that opened a new account and post a on story that touches...

So please stay away from that girl if all u see/get were negative vibes... so u won't open a thread on how your ex committed suicide because of u..

I wonder how some guys even think sef, you see all the signs boldly written and you are still here talking nonsense don’t you want a happy home and life over just some feeling you have for a girl.. If you can turn am to side chick and move on on a low... But what do I know, Na ur life

This kind of girls loves bad guys.
She is not your type, kindly move on.

If you don't she will so break ur heart that you may attempt suicide.
Make hay while the sun shines bro.
Look for another lady....