1. The uninvited guests (Mo'gbo mo'ya; I heard,I came): This category of people are universal elements in almost every typical Nigerian party. They usually come in droves and with an opinion on every detail of the event. They comment on the celebrant,the food,the hall, the makeups,the clothes and even the decorations. They are certainly not shy to help themselves to generous servings of food. Somehow,they usually come with nylon bags and if luck were to shine,they load the bags full of looted food to carry home.


2. The gluttons: These category of people are usually present in every party. They sample all the dishes,from amala to jollof rice to pounded yam,as if it is an eating contest. These people possess enhanced jaws with which they speedily devour each platter and then hide the plates under the table,tricking the various servers into thinking they haven't gotten food yet,and thus landing them plates upon plates of food. Usually they don't even have to utter lies(apparently some of them still possess conscience), they just keep their table clear and paste that "I haven't eaten" expression on their face. The servers never stood a chance.


3. The money changers: There are just those peoole who come to party with one thousand naira notes and begin to plead with the people in charge of picking money from the dance floor for conversion into smaller denominations. These people tend to be very good in mathematics, and it is a chore keeping up with them; "Abeg,help me change this N500 into N50 naira notes", "Help me change this N1000 into two N200, four N100, and ten N20 please". They then proceed to spray the changed money on the dance floor and make you wonder exactly why they didn't save everyone the trouble and just drop the N1000 in the first place.


4. The Behind ones: Ever wondered about those expensively dressed people that always sit pompously at the reserved tables during occasions?,the ones that are always pressing an iPhone or fanning their makeups or staring stoicly ahead in dark shades?,the one that rarely touch their food and never laugh even at the funniest jokes by the MC?. Yeah, if you are planning an event,then I can bet you'll get these sorts.


5. The reserved ones: Whether you like it or not,in every party,there will be some people who are too proud or reserved to ask for food, even when trays upon trays of food are passing them by and hunger is gnawing at their belly. If you were to psychically read their minds, you'd be hearing stuff like, "I will not stoop so low to be fighting for food, didn't the servers see me here?", "Is it jollof rice that I have not eaten before?,mtcheeew!". It only takes the intervention of an outspoken seat mate to get them food, otherwise they go home hungry.


6. The dog feeders: Ever been part of the catering service for an event(perhaps as a relative of the celebrant, policing the activities of the caterers,or as a worker in a catering service),and someone taps your shoulders,you turn around and behold , someone in a stained wooly lace,with a voluminous polythene bag clutched purposefully in one hand. While you are about to open your mouth to tell him/her there is no more food, the person chases your objection right back down your throat with a very polite "Please can I get some leftovers for my dog?".


7. The money sprayers: Nothing spices up a Nigerian party like the good old "spray dancing". Basically, you'd see people of this sort step on the dance floor and toss around wads of cash. Thanks to then,the celebrant recovers part of the cost of organizing the event,while the money sprayers get the chance to publicly display wealth.


8. The fighters: Well, these are the sort you don't want to have in your party,but are inevitable anyway. They get provoked at the slightest chances,even when your baby steps on their shoes,and God help any server who dares to by-pass their table without first placing a loaded platter on it. These guys have been known to ambush loitering servers and make off with trays of food,and to top it all,they always come in packs.


9. The meat carriers: One of the most worrisome aspect of planning a ceremony in Nigeria is figuring out how to secure the meat. I can categorically postulate that this is one of the few problems on earth that has no scientific or academic solution(and trust me,there have been various attempts to find a fail-safe method; including everything fron entrusting the catering to trusted relatives, to sealing the meat up in heavy warmers that can be just as secure as the most hardened bullion vans). One thing with party meat is that it starts reducing right from the butchering ground, where different factions of family and friends start vying for a share. By the time the party starts proper, you only have about 60% of your initial volume of beef, thirty minutes into the party and someone walks up to you to say "meat has finished o",and you start wondering where it all went wrong.


10. The choosers: You'd be surprised how choosy people can get in a party, and usually, it is the servers that get to feel the brunt of these people; "is there amala?", "what about pounded yam?", "I don't really like moi moi, add salad and a little fried rice instead", "why is your meat small like this?, don't you have assorted?". You'll begin to wonder if they think this is a restaurant. Painful enough,they usually never bring any gift.


11. The dancers: Also worthy of mention are those who always go to display dancing talent at parties, they dance even more than the celebrant and could keep up the performance for hours until the DJ packs up his kit.


12. The fashionistas: One iconic element in Nigerian parties is the fashion. From the towering heights of head-dress(popularly called gele down south) being worn by women to the voluminous expanse of agbada worn by the "big men". For these people, any party is an avenue to showcase recent upgrade in their wardrobe.To fashionistas, minute details such as colour combination and even originality of the earrings is very important.