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|The Chronicles of a Nigerian Local Pundit. by Wittymalley(m): 12:41am On Aug 15|
“What should you expect from a dying team injected with 4 shots of Manchestercycline”. An elated Ochuko, who is a Manchester united fan asked his friend, as they stroll down the hill to watch the UEFA Super Cup.
The hall was half filled, as it was still 20 minutes before the kickoff. Ochuko sat in his reserved plastic seat. Everyone in the hall were expecting Ochuko to deliver his pre-match analysis to predict who’ll win the Cup.
Ochuko claims to be a football analyst back in the days before BBCEE folded up. He only worked at the gate of the station. He stood up and cleared his throat. The noisy hall soon became quiet immediately to listen to words of the “god”. He dribbled his audience to believe his “rooster and bull” story after matching players of both team, the state of the pitch and how the Liverpool spectators will win the match for their club. “Chelsea has no chance”, he declared. The “god” had spoken, the villagers had taken sides with the “god” expect that rascal, Luku.
The poor first half display from Liverpool, after seeing Chelsea score a wonderful goal made the hall murmur at halftime. Luku hoped, Chelsea would win the Cup. He lighted his cigarette to calm his nerves.
2 minutes into the second half, Ochuko’s substitution remedy worked and the game was back on level. A finer display from Chelsea made Ochuko uneasy and prayed the second half ended that way. After Mane’s second goal in the extra time, Ochuko had already counted the bottles of beer he would receive for a job well-done. Jorginho’s well-taken penalty made Ochuko think about his beer gifts again. He had counted his chicks before they were hatched.
Every player scored their the penalty kicks except one. That one player had helped Ochuko retain his unbeaten punditry in the village.
When will Ochuko’s punditry fail him in the eyes of his followers?
Stay tuned for the next episodes.
You can drop your experience with these pundits too.
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