Jesus gave us the command: “Love each other in the same way I have loved you” (John 15:12). This can feel like a tall order when the day-to-day struggles of disability bring out careless responses and negative thoughts. When quarrels and judgments pile up and we lose sight of the love that Christ wants to display through us, we can feel powerless to control ourselves. Even the Apostle Paul experienced this: “I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong” (Romans 7:21). But he goes on to encourage us to look to Jesus as the answer (Romans 7:25).

Jesus is the answer when we feel powerless over our emotions and unsure of how to love. His love and sacrifice is the measuring stick for ours. He commands us to lay down our lives in service to each other (John 15:13), putting others’ needs before our own. Jesus is the answer when we feel isolated as a result of disability and when the needs of others seem overwhelming. Jesus is the answer to swapping judgment, suspicion, and self-focus for unity, trust, and obedience. There is nothing more powerful than a couple that recognizes Jesus and invites him into their struggles, confident that he will help them to pattern their love after his.

Jesus taught that when we live this way, it reflects our intimate relationship with him. He said, “Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me” (John 15:15). As friends of Christ and heirs of God we have everything we need to live as he has commanded. When we invite Christ into our struggles, we begin to cultivate a deeper relationship with both him and our spouses. Christ helps us find joy that isn’t dependent on our changing circumstances, but rather on the love we possess within our hearts.
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