#WARNING- LENGHTY CONTENT. . . . . .UVE BEEN WARNED. BUH IF U STONGLY FEEL A NID TO COMPLAIN BOUT HOW LONG DIS IS, PLS, TELL IT TO UR ALTER-EGO
DISCLAIMER NOTICE!!! - i will not be held responsible if Jack finds out ure in possession of this information




#THINGS LOVERS OF "24" MAY NOT KNW BOUT "JACK BAUER"



There are two kinds of people in this world: Jack Bauer and everyone else



Jack Bauer's favorite drink is Kerosene, because he knows that alcohol is for pussies



Jack Bauer only uses a gun to kill terrorist as a courtesy to those who would have to clean up the mess associated with him using his hands.



The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.



When Jack Bauer was born the doctor tried to slap his ass, but Jack caught his hand and broke his arm in 24 places.



Scientists recently uncovered the real reason dinosaurs are extinct: Jack Bauer received an anonymous tip that dinosaurs are terrorists.



Jack Bauer knows “victoria’s secret”



Jack Bauer's father grounded him once as a child. His father never again made that mistake.



While growing up on a farm, Jack's parents wanted him to kill a turkey for Thanksgiving. He started by shooting the turkey in the kneecaps.



The leading cause of death is Jack Bauer. Tobacco knows not to mess with Jack Bauer



All work and no play makes Jack Bauer one bad motherfucker



Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer once got into a fight, the event is commonly known as the Big Bang. If you want to know who won, just ask yourself when was the last time you saw a new episode of Walker Texas Ranger?



When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer.



When Jack Bauer does a press-up, he isn't pushing himself up, he's pushing the world down



If Jack Bauer were gay his name would be James Bond



Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds. Jack bauer doesn't drink milk. Milk is for pussies.



Jack Bauer doesn't smile very often. But when he does, you damn well better smile with him.



If you ever tried to tell Jack Bauer to go to hell, the Devil would silence you before you finished the sentence.



If Jack Bauer was out in a room with three terrorists and one bullet, he would kill the terrorists and walk out with one bullet. Jack Bauer doesn't need bullets.



In the past five years Steven Segal has lost 20 pounds running from Jack Bauer.



once Jack had the hiccups. He then put a pistol in his mouth and fired. the hiccups have yet to return



Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.



Bauer doesn't follow protocol. Protocol follows Jack Bauer.



Jack Bauer doesn't cut his grass, he stares at it and dares it to grow.



If Jack Bauer and James Bond were locked in a room, Jack Bauer would make a bomb outa James Bond.



If Jack Bauer and MacGyver were locked in a room, Jack Bauer would make a bomb outa MacGyver.



After running out of ammo, Jack stood in the line of fire, took 3 shots to the chest, and used them to reload.



As a boy, Jack Bauer interrogated his parents on Xmasr until they told hm the truth about santa.



Jack Bauer has been to Mars. Thats why there's no life on Mars.



Jack Bauer was born four months premature cos he torture the womb till it gave him access to the outside world



Jack Bauer doesn't nid to read a book. He tortures it until he has all the information he needs.



Jack Bauer could get off the Lost island in 24 hours.



The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition.



Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.



Jack Bauer sperm waz conceived as a result of hm torturing the other sperm till they gave away the location of the egg



When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack found it and put it back.



Jack Bauer doesn't need a translator, torture sounds the same in every language.



Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.



Jack bauer shot himself 10 times just to let 50cents knw hes a pussy



If Jack says "I just want to talk to him/her" and that him/her is you, well amigo, you're bleeped.



Jack Bauer can watch all 4 seasons of 24 in 24 hours



Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.



When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.



Curiosity didnt kill the cat, Jack Bauer did.



After 7 minutes of interrogation, Jack Bauer made Tom Cruise admit he was gay.



1.6 billion Chinese are pissed off at Jack Bauer. After tomorrow, there will be 1.4.



Osama has been hiding? Definitely Jack Bauer has not heard about it.



It's no use crying over spilt milk, Unless that was Jack Bauer's milk. Amigo. . . ure soscrewed.



You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.



reading too many of these fact will cause jack bauer to burst through the door and shoot out your knees cause you know too much

too freaking long

I luv dis cos i so much luv jack bauer

The Jews tortured Jesus for three days yet couldn't get him to confess he was an impostor, Jack Bauer would have achieved that in 24hours.

@okija-hmmm. Blasphemy!!!

Okija_juju:

The Jews tortured Jesus for three days yet couldn't get him to confess he was an impostor, Jack Bauer would have achieved that in 24hours.

lol ya right lol

Is okija-juju a muslim or a native doctor?

Ask Google

Can't believe I'm just seeing this. Laughing really hard right now . It's like all those Chuck Norris "facts". Really funny