Lmao so cause she discipline u u must do ur own back? Pls if ur looking for who to discipline go and born your own children...deres a huge change in discipline den and now o

hello ma'am....I knw how you feel when someone maltreats you in a way of discipline....remember, ur aunt's discipline added value to you....now my suggestion to your statement is for you to allow ur nephew and niece behave d way they like (don't beat dem or discipline them since her mom doesn't allow that)..... just pray for more life so as to see d outcome of what her mom wants her kids to turn out to..... remember a saying "is berra to uproot a plant wen it's small, cos it becomes difficult when it grows into a tree".....so free ur aunt ad and her kids......I'm saying this outta experience..... bless ya

In truth, discipline died a long time ago. What we have now is shadow of what it used to be. Aside that, the more we grow the more we get enlightened, what we used to accept as norm using canes and physical punishments as means to curb children excesses years back is now becoming somewhat child abuse. You need to grow up to accept that logic.
By the way, your aunt is protective of her children and you can't blame her for that. If your mom had been protective of you also while growing up, perhaps she wouldn't have had the audacity to mete those mistreatment on you. So, just accept it as that and move on.
By the way, I see no reason why you can't address your aunt about the children misbehavior and what she would have done if they were other's kids. Then you simply share memories of similar events in your past and what she did to you then. Then, ask her what has changed? That's what I will do if I'm in your position.
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Tayor23:
That's how generational curse start. ..now it has started with you and the trend would continue from one generation to the other

jenifer007:
Most relations are like that.They don't tolerate rubbish when it comes to other peoples' children but their own kids are like eggs nobody must touch them.That's total nonsense....Op if the children cross your path which I know they will because they believe they have their mother's support, show them the African method by scolding them wella, if their mum tries to shout at you in return,please endeavour to serve her tea hot too....Give her her own dose too then she will realize you are also a no nonsense person like her too and she will definitely give herself brain.

Trust me anyone that thinks say he or she get craze,that person never jam person wey get craze pass am.

Chai babe na you talk everything, you too much.

Charleys:


I get my own house, but we all travel to family house during holidays.

Lol. I don't know why I find this so damn funny.

Ignore her and ignore her kids. The training you got when she was disciplining you has become yours for life.

People who are harsh with other people's kids always spoil and over-pamper theirs.

If I were you I'd avoid those spoilt brats like the plague. Let her train them best she knows how to.

OvaSabi1:


It is not your time to step in anything. Where are you in life presently? Are you in school? Are you working? Why don't you have your own house or pay your own rent? Are you their father?
This vindictive mentality will pull you back from achieving great things in life. Just imagine at your age and level, you're making a whole nairaland topic on how to discipline another person's children.

Lol your moniker really says it all. Is it not better to solicit for advice about an issue than go ahead and commit atrocities in the name of "I too know"?

You have obviously not experienced how painful it is as a child to be castigated unnecessarily by snobby relatives, only to watch them change their tune years later when it comes to their own children

If you dont want to advise him then why comment? What have his age and level got to do with recalcitrant children?

Is that why u are there?

badman007:


They are children.

Violence is never the answer . If you cannot deal with a bunch of children without the need to beat them, then you lack maturity and deserve the beating even more.

Always have this at the back of your mind, they are children, prone to making mistakes.

was he not a child too, when she was going aggro on him? They are children, they are children indeed. Why was she so evil to him and now expects her children to be pampered by the same person?

chris51:
My dear, things are different now. I was much harder on my 1st child than my on younger children.

Discipline yourself not to beat your sister's children. Are you the one paying their fees and feeding them?
NO.
Let their parents discipline them the way they like.
You wait to have your children and beat them as you like. It's then you will know what is called, CHILD ABUSE.

so what happened to him? It was not abuse? She didn't know it was evil? Stop justifying evil. Let the same mete be used to measure on her children. People do evil and then want to escape it. I despise people who abuse other people's children, then when they gave theirs they want their kids to be sacred. No. They will suffer it, too

Charleys:
I have this aunt who used to flog me, give me all sorts of punishment when I was a child.

Most of my childhood worst childhood memories are tied to her.
But she thought me lots of things, like self discipline, patience etc.

I was always with her when my mum was working.

Fast forward to now....
She has two kids (boy & a girl) very stubborn.

She doesn't want me to do the same thing she used to do to me. Is it fair at all.

Example I went home to visit during holidays, her children broke the plate they were washing...

If I was the one hell would have broken loose that day but while I was talking to them I noticed she was protecting them. I kept quiet.

Secondly when I tell them to do something they do not do it, that will be the right time to flog them.. but my aunty boldly told me not to touch her children.

I believe deep inside me I'm trying to pay her for the evil she use to do to me but I'm not aware of it.

Or am I being too harsh on them... Her kids.
Why doesn't she want me to also flog her children. My mum never had problem with her if I did something wrong. So why is she having problems with me now that her kids are doing things wrong.

I believe my generation have been cheated, children dont learn anymore in school. in fact she secretly told her children not to greet me. (This can never happen if I did this to her).

What should be my next move now. Because I believe there's a cold war going on in the house.

Note we stay at family house when we travel back to the village.

Note it's out of disrespect that makes me think this way.

If you really want to retaliate, do exactly what your aunt wants: Pamper them very well. I don't know why you're still in her house but if you must stay there, do all the work. Don't let those kids do house work. Allow em watch tv all day long. Do their home work for them.

That's all. In a few years, you'll see the result.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Shun sir! My Oga with the grammar, I greet u.

Hi, dear! I sight you from my panoramic lense How is the going? BTW, seem like we were discussing something on the other thread before it was locked.

marvelous000:

Hi, dear! I sight you from my panoramic lense How is the going? BTW, seem like we were discussing something on the other thread before it was locked.

I've forgetten Sir. Kindly remimd me

Remind her how badly she is bringing up her kids.

Use style to mock her that it will be a pity if others she trained turned out well while hers are badly behaved.

It's more out of retaliation.

AwkaetitiBabe:
I've forgetten Sir. Kindly remimd me

I asked you where in abuja do you domicile.

marvelous000:

I asked you where in abuja do you domicile.

OH OK. Bwari

marvelous000:


Why are you foaming in the mouth are you dyslexic who can not deduce caption of topic before jumping inside to yap gibberish, or were you tagged when this thread was opened?
As you can see, Op was soliciting mature advice before you came to conflagrate this thread with your rabid fatuity.

Buzz off you heap of trash, and let us not hear any more twaddle about job and joblessness, because you're a full fledge embodiment of the epithet you used on Op. If not, you wouldn't find this thread apt enough to dignify with a response.

I don't even know why every thing on here is always soused in the swamp of gender scrimmage.

Nairaland is coming back to what it used to be before
Are u a new member?
If yes, u are talking to our legendary tpia.
Anybody that knows that moniker know better not to get hbp over her posts
Cos she knows how to rile one up
See as venom is puffing out already

There was a time we all agreed she is a troll,seun, we gave her all manner of names, and at a point started liking her( that was the only option then)etc.
The more u get enraged, the more she annoys and troll u more but she is intelligent when she choose to be.
So no vex

Please don't if she doesn't want that before you will turn to her worst enemy.talking with experience

Please don't if she doesn't want that before you will turn to her worst enemy.talking with experience.

LadySarah:
You should ask yourself whether your discipline is borne out of retaliation or correction.How will the result benefit you.The child didnt intentionally break the plate,all of us did as children.

Be that as it may,times have changed.Just a cane may land the indomie child in the hospital.Also,a knife wielder will hardly let knife across his back.so if you must retaliate so bad,go and flog your aunty not them.

Leave her kids and mind your bizness.They shouldnt bear the brunt of their mother's st.idity.It is the wickedness of man.

Now she has given birth and seen how painful it is to see one's children being beaten.

Good response. Op, leave your Aunt's kids alone. Reserve your disciplinary measures for your kids (when you have them).

AwkaetitiBabe:
OH OK. Bwari

What a coincidence. that's where I stay too(kubwa to be precise). maybe one of these days, we'll get to meet each other.

.

[Funny you


quote author=Charleys post=83098163]

The children dey insult wella, something that I can never open my mouth to say to grown ups. That's what they say.

I also believe she knows what she was doing that's why she told her children not to greet me.

In fact it is an insult to not greet her when I was small na heavy knock she go use remind me that I didn't greet her.

I need solutions.

My parents which is their grandparents can't say anything because they've gotten old. I believe this is my time to step in[/quote]

marvelous000:

What a coincidence. that's where I stay too(kubwa to be precise). maybe one of these days, we'll get to meet each other.

That sounds cool

Better still, if you can; erect your own house in the village and be separated from the family house stuff so that you will not be sèeing those shits.

Channel the energy you are reserving for their punishment into something meaningful while in your own village house and they will come looking for you and serving you too.

Charleys:


I get my own house, but we all travel to family house during holidays.

FrLukas:


Lol. I don't know why I find this so damn funny.

Ignore her and ignore her kids. The training you got when she was disciplining you has become yours for life.

People who are harsh with other people's kids always spoil and over-pamper theirs.

If I were you I'd avoid those spoilt brats like the plague. Let her train them best she knows how to.

Avoid like plaque? Remember we in a communalistic society and not an individualistic

PeachtreeReside:
Remind her how badly she is bringing up her kids.

Use style to mock her that it will be a pity if others she trained turned out well while hers are badly behaved.

It's more out of retaliation.

nice

AwkaetitiBabe:
Avoid like plaque? Remember we in a communalistic society and not an individualistic

But the aunty is not behaving like she's in a community now?

Where I come from we have a saying that everyone is the primary teacher of a child and no parent can train the child alone.

Since she doesn't want people to correct her kids, let them be ignored.

sassysure:

Upon all the African method of scolding, are we better?
Is our IQ higher?
Are we not the poverty capital of the world?
After scolding and beating, we are still vehemently wicked, desperately greedy and materialistic to the core.
We grow up to jungle justice idiots, we kill with no penchant for mercy.
We are inetly wicked.

We don't know how to reprimand children
What we do is transfer of aggression.
Cos we are not naturally humane in nature.
Cos we don't know how to love.

Aside from your pessimistic conclusion, this is a very good post, and these are excellent questions that you ask...was thinking about starting another thread asking these very questions, but will invite you to do that, as you spoke first.
Some people here have said they came out better from having been "disciplined" (meaning flogged). Would they not have come out equally well or better, from being corrected without flogging?

NiCurious:


Aside from your pessimistic conclusion, this is a very good post, and these are excellent questions that you ask...was thinking about starting another thread asking these very questions, but will invite you to do that, as you spoke first.
Some people here have said they came out better from having been "disciplined" (meaning flogged). Would they not have come out equally well or better, from being corrected without flogging?

The problem is not the flogging or the discipline but the way the person uses it

Even people who have never hit their children are capable of abusing them with shouting, humiliation, emotional manipulation and insults that still constitute abuse

Most people lean on physical violence as a punishment in a lazy way without taking the time to reason with the child or use punishment proportionate to the wrong they have committed. As a result the child gets messed up

If OPs aunt had meted out punishment fairly instead of taking her problems out on him as a boy I dont think he would have minded

they have just banned smacking and made it a criminal offence in Scotland but not everybody agreed with it. Some oyinbo still believe that theres nothing wrong with giving a mischievous child a light slap because children are not automatically logical and dont always understand the scale of their actions

But all this stuff we do here about bicycle chains, slippers, spoons, koboko just brutalises us and makes us psychologically unviable. Even the politicians we venerate after stealing millions were beaten as children and it didnt teach them anything except how not to get caught

My brother, you sound like a wicket man ni... God will punish you. Is it your shidren?
Go and born ur own and punish them however u want.
maybe when doing that u will end up in the news as somebody that beat their shidren to death.

midnighter:


The problem is not the flogging or the discipline but the way the person uses it

Even people who have never hit their children are capable of abusing them with shouting, humiliation, emotional manipulation and insults that still constitute abuse

Most people lean on physical violence as a punishment in a lazy way without taking the time to reason with the child or use punishment proportionate to the wrong they have committed. As a result the child gets messed up

If OPs aunt had meted out punishment fairly instead of taking her problems out on him as a boy I dont think he would have minded

they have just banned smacking and made it a criminal offence in Scotland but not everybody agreed with it. Some oyinbo still believe that theres nothing wrong with giving a mischievous child a light slap because children are not automatically logical and dont always understand the scale of their actions

But all this stuff we do here about bicycle chains, slippers, spoons, koboko just brutalises us and makes us psychologically unviable. Even the politicians we venerate after stealing millions were beaten as children and it didnt teach them anything except how not to get caught

Well said.

It seems that parents forget about the "raising" part of "raising children". They have them, but don't take the trouble to teach them what TO do; instead, they wait until the kids do something wrong, then smack them down. Hard.

To me that's like planting a fruit tree or vine, and every time a branch grows in a wrong direction, cutting off the branch instead of redirecting it so that it can bear fruit. Besides scarring kids, psychologically or physically, this sort of treatment stifles their curiosity, exploration, discovery, learning, initiative, and growth, on an individual, and dare I say societal, level--coming back to the questions that[b] sassysure[/b] raises, and leads to intergenerational transfer of aggression, as seen in the original post.