1.. Some tribes in Nigeria will be
crying during funerals but they
will still use that same eye to
locate the people sharing food
nd drinks »»». ..... I will not call
the tribe before they say that I
hate igbo people......
No be type am ohhhh

2.. Impregnating a girl in Europe
is so nice that her parents will
even buy you a car..... But not in
my country » the curse only will
change your destiny....

3.. Trouble is when you hit a
Toyota hilux that contain Hausa
solidiers..... My bro just faint
instantly.

4.. Just because I don't like
cooking doesn't mean I can't
cook .... Have you tasted my hot
water before ? .... chaii ..... You lick
your hand.

5.. nobody can give me headache
when panaldo is #50.. nobody
can break my heart when super
glue is #30... With #80 ayam
safe.....

6.. My drunk friend came to my
house yesterday morning and
started greeting all my mops
outside thinking they are white
men with dreed locks..... Fadaa
Lord help me...

7.. sincerely been ugly is not
easy.... U will snap 70 pictures
delete 60 edit 10 post 2. Lord
have mercy...

8.. some people will do blood
money and still be stingy .. Blood
that is not Even ur own.... What
rubbish...

9.. Going to ur boi frend auz
without informing him... that
heartbreak you are lukin for...
You shall see it

10.. Breaking News : "all short
people are now allow to use
their full picture as passport.....

11.. If you see me talking too
myself understand becouz am
self~employed and am having a
staff meeting....

12.. The downfall of a man is not
the end of his life but if he falls
from a 3~story building.... that
one na CALL OF EXIST....

13.. How can I bought shoes for
250k and expect me to walk on
the ground?.....
Abeg if u hear any sound on your
roof don't panic ... Na me dey
waka ......

14.. I can't believe I was born
naked .... Ahhh those nurses saw
my G-WAGON.... Ohhhh wat
rubbish....

15
If no be for fufu and akara wey I use spoil my voice , who be simi or wizkid.....

16.. What if your offering money
is wat they are going too use to
feed u in heaven?? ..... Some
people will die of ulcer....

17.. U can tell me ur secrets... it's
save with me even the person
reading this post told me that he
slept with 5 members here....
.... Have I told anyone....

18.. My pastor intentionally
sprinkled the Holy Water on us
last Sunday .. Cum see how
makeup were messedup...

19.. On judgement day ... I will
just hold Nigeria flag so that God
can know that have pass
through hell b4 .... I can't face hell
twice ohh.......

20.. Short girls will put one hand
on there waist and be lukin like
teacup..

21.. Imagine you act dead during
a Boko Haram attack and you
hear "shoot everyone again"...
That moment... your urine alone
can flood Nigeria... Or am I
lieing...

22.. Soon MTN will be like ¤ The
number you trying to call had
been owing us since 5 month's ...
When ever you see him help us
beg him to pay back our money..
Thank you......

23.. It is only in Nollywood
movies witches will appear and
the first thing they do is to laugh
.... Ask them what's funny couz I
don understand...

24.. Drinking a lot of water can
help you mind ur bizness.. Couz u
will spend most of ur time
urinating, instead of gossiping.....

25.. Wedding attendance
Church=35
Reception=1500
See am sharing my food in
church...

26.. "pls when I die, nobody
should come nd luk at me in the
coffin becouz am so shy I may
laugh.....

27.. Nigeria guys will collect ur
number in the bus, then
30minutes later .
"Baby I dreamt abt u" abeg bros
which time u sleep ??

28.. Na so I saw one 90yrs old
mama dey pray "O Lord I shall
not die prematurely"....
Mama you wan be Methuselah.

29.. Once a girl says am feeling
cold u will see some guys
behaving like microwave...

30.. When am bored I call Airtel
call care to ask why my phone is
not charging......

31.. My Ex thought that she broke
my heart Mtwcch heart way I don
put heart guard...

32.. I went too buy 4 indomie
and I saw my crush at the aboki
shop ... so I bought 40 ..... am still
selling the remaining 36 ......Abeg
help my ministry....

33.. I started fearing the
witchcraft after seeing my uncle
watching television with one eye
..... When I ask him he said he's
saving electricity because he's
using card.... Am still lukin 4 place
to faint...

34.. I was driving BENZ in my
dream last night ..... until my
sister slap me to wake up and
stop pushing bed to the
kitchen.....

35.. I faint dis morning when a
girl told me she is following me
on Xender in fact am still
fainting...

36.. I went to a local restaurant
and ordered for peppersoup ....to
cut the story short I needed a
new tongue...

37.. No animal can run faster
than a girl with makeup when
it's raining .....

38.. Some people set 18 digits
password to their phone, but the
password is just SLIDE TO
UNLOCK .....

39... They say money is the root
of all evil but poverty is the
complete tree... Infact a forest....
They cun dey deceive us ....

40.. Who else notice that
squeezing Maggi this day's is like
breaking the wall of jericho ...

41.. I think Garri and Sugar
should be added to first aid box
that stuff had been saving life
since 1960.....

42.. The only time I am ever
serious with my life is when am
counting the number of zero in
money I want too transfer...

43.. Battery full and want me to
remove my phone no be 9ja we
dey...

44.. I remember the last time I
had a broke up I was lukin for
my phone in the freezer.....

45.. The way I'm broke now. I
thought of selling our dogs I will
do the barking at night...

46.. People that works in bakery
will not suffer in hell because
they're already use to fire...

47.. I went to my friend auz
around 11:57 and I did not greet
his parents and they think am
disrespectful not knowing that
am just waiting for 12 0'clock so
I can tell them good afternoon....

48.. The only advantage we have
in Nigeria is that we can urinate
any where.............

49.. Pastor don't normally anoint
fat people couz they have oil all
over their body.....

50.. A trailer hit me today but I
didn't die couz I drank 5 alive
yesterday I think now I should
have 4 life remaining...... Says by #
NAIRA-MARLEY#

51.. Imagine NEPA came to my
auz to borrowed my larder, cut
my light and still tell me bro
thank u . God bless U.....

52.. You're in a relationship and
you're saying that they are
cheating on you hmmmmmmmm
have you ever seen a seen a ship
carrying a single person
Thank God am in a relationbike ....

53.. Am lukin for someone to
separate the relationship btw
news paper nd suya, am getting
jealous.....


54.. Ushers in church act like the
biological children of God and
the rest were adopted.....

55.. A guy was arrested 2007
and was released two days ago.
now he was asking me why is it
that people are offline in 2go.....
What should I tell him?
56.. I ask a girl do you know
SHARWAMA. She reply must I
knw everybody...

57.. I have never heard Pastors
preaching about the maps
behind the Bible. I think they are
hiding the direction to HEAVENS
from us.....

58.. I will not be impressed with
technology until I can download
FOOD....

59.. I always double check my
spelling before I post anything
because of this unemployed
SOCIAL MEDIA ENGLISH PROF.

6o.. Guys please if you want to
toast a girl, toast her with sense...
Which one is hw is mummy and
daddy....
What concern you......
Enjoy your day ......
I know my people can't read
without appreciating my effort.

it is not a small something

You Are A Pro

Very good