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|What I Learnt In School Today by fstranger: 12:44pm On Nov 17, 2010|
Our World champion.
Philip Chukwuma Mohammed Oladipo Emeagwali (GCFR OM NL GBP MD LH etc etc).
Proud Father of INTERNET. Worthy Son of Abubakar. Diligent Husband of two wives: Donita Brown (internet entrepreneur and eminent historian) and Dame Dale Emeagwali (distinguished science professor and inventor).
Lives in a big house in Abuja and also in Washington so as to be near the White House.
Genius who invented the Internet at age 14. (His first invention was actually the condom, when he was only 6. When the Catholic Church objected, he withdrew his patent application.) He was the first person to invent snake oil to cure cancer.
Invented the equations and the space vessel that landed man on the moon. The only man to have travelled to Mars, which is named after him.
Invented the supercomputer as a gift to humanity. As for him, the fastest brain in the universe, hath no need for computers as his brain is faster than the speed of light.
Discoverer of the cure for HIV/AIDS, and of the vaccine against ignorance. He is also the world's most sought after neuroscientist and brain surgeon.
Won, at age 19, the NOBBELL PRIZE for Everything, the only one of its kind.
Has also won the Congressional Medal of Honour. Whereupon, President Clinton invited him to be President of the National Academy of Sciences, and that was how he left for America with his wife, his family, staff, and relations.
Has so many inventions patents and claims we stopped counting at 419!
Single handedly won the Gulf War, employing cyberwarfare, thereby saving all of humanity. Consultant to the Pentagon, the World Bank, the Security Council, INEC, and the Red Army. His equations fuel China's economy and helped end the Global Recession. He is Chair of Rebrand Nigeria.
Giant mathematician that cannot be ignored. Ask BP: When they (for racist reasons) doubted his equations, the great Gulf Spill happened!
He is currently developing an invention to relocate himself and family to the Sun (as soon as his patent on his new Perpetual Motion Machine is announced) so as to reverse global warming, enforce world peace, cancel the slave trade, and rule a corruption-free Nigeria run on his equations on nuclear fusion. The relocation will make it harder for ill-motivated detractors to pull him down.
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