I am an American lady married to a man from West AFrica. I suspect that my husband is a player. He denies everything, of course. The first was when I called his job (taxi dispatch) and a girl in the background said when he was talking to me "he's talking to me", "so what!" He then said he had to go and would call me back. He told me later that this lady was waiting for him to drive her somewhere, sometimes they did have taxi fares leaving from the office. But why would she say that? I also found photos of him in a motel room with his shirt off, and a photo of a lady wearing a girdle and wrap skirt tied around her waist posing seductively. He said she was his cousin came to visit, and stayed in motel as his relatives were running from immigration and didn't want nobody to know where they are. The part about immigration is true. The part about it being his cousin, I asked his sister and she said that's not their cousin, that's their cousin's friend and she can't remember her name. Husband still insists it is their cousin and that he didn't take that photo, that probably a sister did. THERE IS A PHOTO OF THE LADY GETTING OFF A GREYHOUND BUS, his family USUALLY TAKE ONE TO OUR STATE, WHEN THEY ARRIVE IN USA from Africa. My husband would never let me talk to the lady because he says he doesn't know where she is now, and that she went back to Africa. In November his ex-girlfriend called his cell phone when I was sitting beside him, he lied to me about who she was and told me that I was too controlling. The latest thing is I discovered on our cell phone bill that he called a single chatline and was on the phone for 8 minutes. I was shocked-now he is trying to meet strangers? There are too many diseases in this world for me to tolerate that, and I didn't get married to share my husband anyway.  He says it was just curiosity that led him to call, and that he didn't talk to any woman-- you have to pay.  LIKE I SAID, HE SAYS IT WAS CURIOSITY, AND DENIES THAT HE HAS CHEATED IN ANY OF THESE SITUATIONS. I can't take much more of his behavior in this marriage. What should I do?

I should add that we have two kids together and I am breastfeeding one, which as you know can transmit HIV through breastfeeding. He is a long distance truck driver and stays gone for up to two weeks at a time. I don' t get no sex, and he is looking to cheat? That makes me real mad! I told him it is over, he wants to go to marriage counseling. I will go once, and tell him that if I find him in anymore suspicious situations, it's OVER! I don't need a cheater! I got married to a man I loved, to be faithful, and enjoy sex without worrying about disease, instead I get cheated on, worry about disease, and don't get my sexual needs met because of his job.

Cute-ass:
I appreciate your advice. You are right, and I appreciate your honesty and directness. It is time for me to make a decision, damning the consequences.

wow!

i think you know your husband is a cheat you better do something, be firm , either you leave him or tell him you will no longer stand for it, also go ask him to check his water works in the nearest sex clinic, this is no joke, all these cheating men giving thier wives disease is no fiction. I just heard of a mother of 4 with HIV . got from her husband. Kick him out!

@ bigbooty

I'm not trying to be harsh or anything, just trying to understand, so i'm sorry if i come out otherwise (don't have intentions to)

You have 4posts, all 4 are threads you opened to tell us about your "west aftrican" husband and your two kids with him, you never come back to add or respond to the advice you get

On each thread, you've gotten advice to last you a life-time, some talk in support of him and some talk against him

I think its high-time you sorted out your problems, use the time you use in stating all those problems and sit down to think in the best interest of yourself and your kids.

there are two options, either to stay or walk, but at the end of the day, you're the only one that could take that decision, nairaland can only help you to an extent and from the sound of things, you already know the obvious

You just have to make a decision and stick to it, damning the consequences

cute-ass:
thank you for your honesty and directness. I appreciate it. You are right, I need to make a decision. Maybe that is what I needed, somewhat to tell me like it is. I have tried to justify all his actions, but I need to face the truth.

bigbooty:

cute-ass:
thank you for your honesty and directness. I appreciate it. You are right, I need to make a decision. Maybe that is what I needed, somewhat to tell me like it is. I have tried to justify all his actions, but I need to face the truth.

Exactly, no matter how much you turn it around, twist it, bend it (like becham ), or put it upside down, the truth wouldn't change.

Justifying it doesn't make it any better, neither does giving deaf ears either.

So i wouldn't tell you to leave him or stick with him (you have kids, which make it a Lil bit more complicated)

But as they say, he she who wears the shoe knows where it pinches him her most

You don't sound american at all!

@Viera
lol true you will find all sorts on NL , so don't dwell on that fact

they you go with all your suspicions again.

She sounds american.

Well, this is a tough one and I feel really sorry that you are passing through this.