She stared into space, willing herself to ignore the wails of her five-month-old daughter and the pitiful whimpers of her son. He would be six on the 27th of December, but he looked younger. It wasn't something to be proud of; her son should have grown up to his age, but he didn't eat enough. There wasn't enough.

Her husband, the 'man' who was supposed to provide for them had left them and traveled to the village. It was obvious that he had run away from his responsibilities again. Nneka sighed as her daughter's cries subsided. If only she had listened to her parents. They were right. Love would never feed her. At least her husband had proven them right.

But then she loved her children; and she could not bear to see them suffer for her mistakes. Her love for her husband might have died out of malnutrition, but her children would not die. Her love would save them. But what could she do? There was no morsel of food in the house; only some food ingredients, which were useless. And she certainly couldn't steal.

Or could she?

As the thought started taking shape in her mind, she thanked her fate that her neighbours, the Uwaochas had told her that they were leaving for the village to celebrate Christmas few hours ago. Should she break into their house and help herself to some food. It wasn't for herself but for her precious children. But how could she get inside their compound? She didn't have the key to their house and even if she did, she would not risk going into house from the front gate. Someone might see her. That left one option—the fence.

She was still battling with the consequences of what she was about to do when Chibunna, her son walked to her. He swayed as he drew closer and she reached out and held him, drew him closer and wiped the tears that ran down his gaunt face.

"Mommy, I'm hungry. My tommy is aching me," the child complained. He didn't understand that his mother was incapable of providing the thing he wanted most.

Seeing the pain of hunger in her son's eyes was the last straw for Nneka. She seated her son on the stool beside her chair and dashed out into the compound. She went to the corner and lifted the ladder her husband used for his work as an electrician. She carefully placed it on the fence that divided her compound from that of the Uwaochas. And she began climbing.

At the top, she scanned the compound and her elevated surroundings for the presence of somebody. Finding no one, she was about to climb over when she realized that she didn't have anything to break the neighbour's doors with. She hastily came down and went into her house. She located the hammer in her husband's toolbox which he usually left in their room as a testament to the fact that he was the one who worked in their home.

When she reached the ladder, she slotted the hammer into the back pocket of her jean trouser and began climbing again. This time she was faster. At the top, she scanned her surroundings again and swung her legs over the fence. She sat on the fence and after saying a prayer for her children, she jumped down. The jump left her dazed. She stood still and listened to the sound of the silent compound as she regained her bearings. She went straight to the kitchen of her neighbours, and using the hammer, she broke the lock in one swing.

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https://www.thezenpens.com/2020/01/17/desperation/