Typically, my friend’s family travels out of Lagos every Christmas. He never joins in the annual trip because he has to work between holidays. In some sectors in Nigeria, that’s the drill. There are occasional debates and grudges, but since the money must be made, the work must get done.

One of those Christmases, I got teasing him about not having hooked me up with any girl from his work place. So, the thing is – he meets more than a handful of women on a daily basis in his line of job. My accusation was both a joke and a reminder to do the needful.

They all wanted me to get married after all.

But the conversation naturally took the course of a joke. We recounted conquests and above-your-league-misses and almost hits. Then we came around to Ajoke.

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He had met Ajoke here in Lagos.

From the exchange of hellos, he knew she was trouble.

However, he also found himself entranced by her beauty. I never saw her, but I would take his word for it. He’s shown great taste in the past.

Now, caught between the want and the want-not, he struggled to keep it on the level of just friends. I know my friend; this must have been harder than forcing him to the gym.



One day Ajoke came by the office to suggest a quick lunch. My friend had been very busy.

He made her wait some.

During the lull in activity, another colleague whom you could have sworn was jaywalking suddenly came upon her.

From the exchange of hellos, he knew she was the kind of trouble he would adore.

This strange fellow found my friend and instantly began to negotiate a hand over.

Literally.

Since my friend was still oscillating between sainthood and dirty dancing, the request tipped the scale to the former. He agreed to the hand over.

Literally.

And he failed to follow up on the progress.

One day his friend’s wife called out of the blues. She suggested a quick lunch. When they met up, she told him her husband was cheating on her with a certain woman called Ajoke. Her complaints were endless…

He never returns before midnight anymore.

He never takes me out to church or functions anymore.

When she calls him, he takes her call in my presence. Last time, I confronted him. He went into the toilet and put a video call across to her. I was banging on the door, trying to break it down, but they just went on talking and laughing as if I wasn’t doing anything.

My friend was dumbfounded. But she could never know the real reason for his speechlessness. After a while, he assured her he would see what he could do about it. He would speak with her husband, chide him if needed, and correct this madness.

She sighed deeply. Then in a low tone, she told him nothing could be done now.

He asked her why.

I asked him why.

She said Ajoke was six months pregnant.

The natural course of the conversation was no longer a joke.