A group describing themselves as the New Nigeria Patriotic Front, have claimed to be the lack of brains behind the recent theft of election machines in Nigeria.

A number of direct data capture machines belonging to the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC), and meant for service in the upcoming elections, recently vanished, causing Jega to write a CV - just in case.

In defence of the INEC Chairman, it must be said that he is not a magician, and neither are his commissioners, so it is quite disingenuous for people to blame him for not keeping the machines safe from thievery.

Speculation has been rife over who orchestrated the theft. Some people have sworn to have proof that the machines were stolen to order.

Sources have also claimed that the secret police are working on a lead that involves the chieftains of a certain do-or-die political party.

The New Nigeria Patriotic Front contacted the police via a 'number withheld' phone call to claim responsibility for the deft heist. Due to bad network connection, they had to call back several times.

The group said that they would have come out earlier but had to wait till now because the phone numbers for the police weren't going through.

The so called Patriotic Front have since contacted several Nigerian newspapers with their story, because according to them, they just don't trust the police not to allow a rival group to claim credit for their achievement.

The group also want Nigerians to know why they resorted to theft. According to them, stealing the election machines was the most patriotic thing to do.

They claimed to have uncovered a mass rigging plot planned for the 2011 elections. They also claim to have in their possession, a record of several credible rumours placing the data capture machines in the middle of the plot.

Not wanting the upcoming elections to be decided by anything other than the votes of ordinary Nigerians, the group decided to take matters into their hands.

The group left their BB pin with the police and promised to call from time, in-case the police had any questions.

The Nigerian police have so far refused to comment on the New Nigeria Patriotic Front.

It is believed that the police force is currently in touch with the producers of CSI. They want to know if the Hollywood directors can help them to do that really cool thing where the good guys keep the bad guys on the line long enough to get a trace.

- Joe Aibozaw