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         Early days are so sensitive. Am I right? Those days when decision are taken by what we wanted and not by what we needed. The days where the now seem to matter more and the ones to come would take care of themselves. Those days when we just want to reign as a budding youth and shine as the flower at her prime. The time when the elders advise and we look them as the old school. What did they know in this time and age? Little did we know that there are certain truth that are universal and timeless, they do not lose relevance. When parents or elders call you to candid advice, you should not discard it as they have come again. Something is there for you. I was beautiful in my early age and I am still beautiful but there are decisions I would have made right but been a kid, I couldn't think deep, I just took the decision. 
          One of such was when I wanted to get admission into the university. What was reigning among my friends then was law. Do I really have flair for law? That I cannot tell but it was what my friends said they wanted to do and I joined them in wanting to do it. My mother told to me that law was beautiful but what she was seeing in me was not law but accountancy. I said to her no, I have made a choice for myself and that I will do. Looking deep, the law was not there. I was accurate in calculation and was excited doing such. I did it without getting tired and always find fulfilment but I gat to belong. I gat to study law. I passed my JAMB and got admission to study law. I was a mediocre in it, did not shine as it should be. I went to law school on average level I came out. I practise law but I was not myself. Just in mediocre level. That was not my normal level. What could that be, what has water down my brightness, I am not as bright as I should be. I found I was in my path chosen for myself not the path ordained for me. Years on the wrong path, what do I do, I decided to turn, it is better than to turn late than end as failure. I turned but it wasn't easy. By that time I have to to face the home challenge which was devouring me like fire but for the fact that I ran out. 
       It was at the point of realisation of my wrong step in carrier that reality dawn on me that my marriage then was also a product of shallow decision. I never knew marriage carried a lot, I mean, it has so many things to do in the life of individual. It is something that bring your destiny in contact with your partner and it began to influence or affect it. All I knew then was love. He loves me, he cares about me, he bought me things, took me out. He had money in his account, he had ride on his feet and a well furnished apartment. A lawyer who later became a senior colleague. His faults nko? I will change him as if I can change anyone. We got married and the reality of it all dawn on me that I was in a vehicle and the driver was a man I later regretted having in my life. He was simply complex and all those things he did during relationship were like bait. Did I see it coming? Yes, I did. I saw him raise his hand against me but I thought it was anger. I saw him come late I thought because he was lonely. I saw him care free but I thought when we wed he was going to change. Little did I know he was going to get worse. That man was everything I hated when I came to encounter a meaningful man. I was warned, wasn't I? I was warned by those who could see from other side, from different angles far from where I could see. This man, this man, he was not who you think he was. And you can't change him. A man change when he himself get an encounter to change not when someone needed him to change. I just forgo them and face my relationship. The reality dawn on me like when a cloud of darkness was remove from someone. He won't listen, he won't bother about what I feel. He just lived a curse to me. I could not live a roasting life, I blot out of it and I did not have regret leaving it. My regret was, deafening my hears to guidance of those who saw the anguish moment  but I shun them. It turned out to be hell and I have to walk away. Many things were said about me but I knew what I saw, I knew what my mind thirsted for. I went my way with one child, a daughter, lovely daughter. How would I ever allowed Louis to grow up under that terrible man. He later broke himself. In one of his night walk he crashed and there was no redemption.

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I married again with a lot of care. I took my time and listen to meaningful instructions. I never allow love to cloud me, I made sure he had peace for me in him before talking of love. Marriage is not in multitude of words but action. What you say can be sweet but if your action is bitter, then your words are lies. I am so happy I got it right the second and I am happily married now. 
      Early days are sensitive days, not everybody  gets it right after their fall. Then one of the things I did was to follow the trend especially in fashion. I remember the time of tiny belt, the time of big bag. Time just have a way of dishing out what it wants. I followed it religiously until I came to know all these were nothing. I felt among then but I got to know I could create my own brand with my fashion sense. The greatest fashion for anyone is to wear what you feel cool wearing, what covers your unclothedness at the same time makes you gorgeous. No fashion is greater than your brand, it is your uniqueness, it is you. Now I don't follow trend, I have my styles and I rock all the time. It has become my brand and people know it as my thing. Come trend or not, I trend to myself always.
      Early days was a day to discern yet we never do. We were to discern the company we keep because they influenced us so much but we never did. We just moved. I moved with lot of people then, those who knew where they were going and those who do not, those who wanted to be for me and those who want me to be for them. I tell you, you don't need crowd in your life, you only need relevant people. I counted their opinion and allow them to influence what I did and how I did them. I don't really have a life of my own. I latter got to know that with the help of the crowd I moved with, I silence myself. As I grew up, I saw things differently, I saw that not  all people are supposed to be in ones life. I started with those not adding value, till those who were negative to those going to different direction from mine. I only permitted those I need in my life to stay. You have the self right to allow just those you need in your life. Many may want to come in but take your stand. My life counts, I won't allow people in just because they want to come in. I took that decision and many read meaning to it, she is proud, she is a snub, she is not social, what ever they say, I am better off them. There are some I didn't leave totally. I just kept a distance. Those people have their relevance but giving them a sit in my heart is making one heavy. I greet them casually and when need arise we talk and more.
     Many things in my early days, as I grew up I came to know better and have to take decision of turning and there are some I just could not turn. I have to bear the brunt that way. If I will say anything to our youth, it will be, see with the eyes of the future. See that you matter and so don't leave your life giving those who does really matter major place. I once lived in my early days pleasing people, later I got to know that to please people was too much sacrifice to pay to people who would not lift a finger to please you. I had fun though, it was not all regret but in some cogent places, I made mistakes which Imarked corrected later paying more prices. The ones I could not correct, I live with the mark.

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