The biggest mistake you will make is when you get yourself into a marriage where your in-laws are more interested in what they can get out of you than your well being. They have nearly ruined my life. They destroyed my home and my wife is in full support of it. She never defends my interest but she is always against it. We have been separated for 2 years because of these problems. I try to go back to see if things can work out for our marriage but she is too attached to her family. To make matters worse she ridicules me on the phone in the presence of her siblings. I have never wrong her in anyway. I am fed up.

You better move on before it's too late. They obviously take you for a weakling and a fool.

perfectbuy:

The biggest mistake you will make is when you get yourself into a marriage where your in-laws are more interested in what they can get out of you than your well being. They have nearly ruined my life. They destroyed my home and my wife is in full support of it. She never defends my interest but she is always against it. We have been separated for 2 years because of these problems. I try to go back to see if things can work out for our marriage but she is too attached to her family. To make matters worse she ridicules me on the phone in the presence of her siblings. I have never wrong her in anyway. I am fed up.

Don't beat urself up again, if all u said here is exactly what happened then please move on, if kids are involved in that marriage then be the best dady to them. Rebuild ur life and look for somebody who will take you for you.

have you two tried counseling? from a pastor or mediator? try that and if it doesn't work out then you know you have tried your best. .move on but remain supportive especially if you have kids.

That's bad.
Having all ur wife's relations as dependants is quite depressing. U married her and not them!
U should be thinking about saving for ur kids or future. To bad she's nt by ur side at this trying times.

I think you need a heart-to-heart conversation with in private and let she see reasons cos u're nt a money tree.

Bail outta the marriage if all amounts to nothing.gluk

Kill ur wife and marry her corpse. . . .

///

Women tend to cling to their family after. Meanwhile you cant have your own sibling visiting without wahala daily.

Like Cc said we need to know more before giving u sincere and unbiased advice.
What was the reason for separation in the first place.
Ii it well.

bro, i dont know what you have also done to ur wife.

Ur wife`s family expects so much from u. She was married in the first place so she could carry some of her family responsibility.

but it is not as planned. This is a challenge on ur part.

Try as much as possible to do ur best and leave the rest.

Afterall, you must have seen the signal while the two of u were dating.

my brother,
'if the foundation be destroyed, '
this you should have noticed right from the onset.
anyway, move on with your life.
have you got any child? Take your child back before they start using them against you.
wish you the best.
seek counsel, go to seminars, read books before leaping into marriage again.
rising and failing is not the best.
I wish you the very best.

, but, i hope you're telling us the story as it is.

My dear this is the short version. What exactly happened that led to the separation. Answer yes or no to these question

Did your wife get along with your family?
Did any of your in laws live with you for an extended period of time?
Did you ever cheat on your wife?
Did you ever hit your wife?

If you have made up your mind, then get with the plan.
Separated for 2 years means you can live without each other.
If you get back together, please go for all STI tests to ensure you are both healthy enough to resume this troubled union.

This is the reason why people. . .especially women should not get married out of desperation.

All these 'living in bondage' marriages sef!
Is marriage by force?

How can someone end 2010 with marriage wahala. . . then begin 2011 with marriage wahala?
Haba!

Even as we are separated i still do my responsibility.
The whole family is trying to ruin me including her parents
I married 2007

perfectbuy:

Even as we are separated i still do my responsibility.
The whole family is trying to ruin me including her parents
I married 2007

i will help u out here. Ur case is just like mine. Difference is dt u re d husband and i'm d wife. Now, putting myself in ur wife's shoes, i knw ur story is pretty one sided. I'm sure u re not perfect n probably ve done worse things wc u cleverly left out in this forum. A woman who is separated from her husband n has no inhibitions abt it is just not normal likewise her parents trying to 'ruin' u like u've portrayed. Something went wrong here and the only solution is for both of u to sort out ur differences without involving third parties. The energy spent here looking for 'supporters' to inflate ur ego should be channeled into finding a solution to ur marriage. Hope i've been helpful

///

When a woman posted problems that she was having with her husband, everyone was screaming at her , asking her what she had done wrong.
Now a guy is posting problems with his wife and everyone is saying "pele ooo".

@ Poster ; What happened to cause the seperation? In - laws can be nasty at times but leave that side of them trying to ruin you for now. Why did you seperate from your wife?

@Poster

As a man i will tell you this :

ya tory get as e be

What are they doing to "ruin" you? Has she always been disrespectful? Complete the story so we can understand the situation of things.

That is about the detailed summary of my story. My type of person is if i had done something to make her leave, i would have humbly written about it and look for advise on how to get her back, but in this case, heaven knows my conscience is clear. Since i married her i have never hit her, rather she does the hitting will i watch her because i know if i should hit her i will knock her unconscious, heaven knows this. I never wronged her. She took her things with the help of her mum and left the house just because i tried to make her see reason why we should live within our means. I never drove her away. I guess, i have been too mild and considerate with her, that is why she and her family takes me for a fool. I do not believe in making fuss and fight, i will quietly divorce her and go my way. And find a nice lady to marry, after all i have all the virtues of a man a woman needs. I have tried.

^^ Why do I feel you contributed a big chunk of trash to your marital issues?

Why are you playing the victim ? You are yet to tell us one single thing you've done to your wife?you cannot tell us you've not wronged her directly or indirectly. All you've done is tell us how "humble, Godfearing ,loving caring " you are.

You have not told us the real story, people ask you questions and you just keep going in circles.

Mr man go and work on your marriage and take your eyes off that gurl outside that is turning your brain upside down.

Mr man, go and work on your marriage.Ur wife cant leave you because u suggested she should buy 500naira meat instead of the usual 2k.Tender ur own f-up here make we address am...Shikena!!!!!!!!

Mugu, you still de dere? De babe is gone, get another one. Women are like underwear, they need to be changed regularly.

Granted, there are always two sides to every story, but it is extremely disrespectful to men to keep suggesting that their side of the story includes violence or philandering.

It's sad to think that women, who have been the victims of a lot of stereotypes and prejudice, don't hesitate to mete out this same prejudice.

My guy, next time you're seeking advice don't leave out too many blanks on your side, otherwise some on here, by default, will believe you're a wife beating skirt chaser. It's sad but true.

OP
Seems that you are not telling the whole truth.
A 5 year old marriage crashing is not a good testimony.
You mean that you did nothing wrong and she left like that?
Before i can contribute,may i ask some 'silly' questions?

Was it a proper marriage? I mean, did you pay her dowry in full?
Did her parents willingly support the marriage or was there any opposition from them?
Or was it a 'mistake pregnancy' that transformed into marriage? Have you fulfilled all traditional obligations to her family?
When she left,what was the immediate problem that surrounded her departure?
When she left,what was your reaction? Did you inform her parents? What was their response?
what efforts have you made to reconcile since she left?
have you gone for marital counselling?
For how long was the courtship before marriage?
Was she working or a housewife?
Did you promise her a heaven on earth in marriage to entice her to marry her?
Did you make promises you could not fulfil?
What annoys her?
What annoys you?
Were you always at loggerheads in the marriage?
Did you really understand her before you married her?
Are you from a polygamous background?
Is she?
When you married her,did you have the idea in your heart that divorce is an option if necessary?
You are the complainant now and we have not heard from the other party.
Nevertheless,to give a more reasonable counsel that can benefit the marriage, even in the absence of her side of the matter,we need more details of the relationship.When a marriage crashes,the two partners are directly responsible,not one.In fact,the husband has the larger share even though not his fault.She remains innocent until otherwise proven
Please shed more light.Pending your response,please kill the thought of divorce that you are already nursing in your heart.Personally, i do not support divorce on any ground,no matter how bad the relationship.

Whilst it's very convenient for us to simulate our images like they do on adverts, this post has defects and quite biased. Moreover, every family by default loves its members so you don't expect your partner to automatically terminate the relationship that exists between your spouse and the same family you supposedly sought your partner's hand in marriage from.

Op,i understand your plight. I have seemingly experience this situation with an ex. Though we were live in lovers. I can equally narate a story about a man who wept bitterly inside a vehicle we were travelling in because his newly wedded wife who just put to bed was terrorising his finances in his absence with the aid and support of his mother in law.
The said man wife,aware that her husband has travelled to his hometown for a relative burial ceremony,continue to cart away large sums of money from her husbands shop. At a point,she tore the registery where all sales and expense account are entered to elimate any trace for accountability. She will go to the shop,harass her husbands sales person and cart away large sum of money with the excuse of getting something for the new born who only brestfeeds. In three days her husband was away,she has siphoned almost 50k and was even threatening and abusing the husband as we journeyed down. It took the brave intervention of the father in law who responded back to the man's call for help by telling the young man that he suspect his own wife,the mother of his wife is behind this conspiracy to wreck havoc on the man finance and business. At that point,the young man stop crying and believed his fada in law would handle the situation maturely. Most women are just evil thats all.
@op,please leave this woman before the kill you. It is obvious the woman no longer loves you so wish you dead so she can move. You are in order...good guys suffer in the hands of evil women.
Cheers

Op I think there is a very big communication gap between you two, from what I make out of your story its all about money, does your wife know your income cos she believes the money is there but you dont want her to chop with you. If she knows how much you earns but insist you live above your means I dont think you have other option. If not for anything but for you mental sanity.

story does not add up.

Unfortunately. . .these are not grounds for DIE-VORCE IN MY 'UNHOLY BOOK'!
You married a 'girl' not a woman. . . .NOW, IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO TEACH HER HOW.

*case dismissed*

Call me on 07061688090 i will like to give u a special advise

Johndoe100: Mugu, you still de dere? De babe is gone, get another one. Women are like underwear, they need to be changed regularly.

I BELIEVE YOUR BRAIN NEED TO BE WASHED...
LIKE UNDERWEAR !!
(IF AT ALL YOU GET ONE)

i want to say a very big thanks and
appreciation to Dr ogudu for
bringing back my husband who left me and
the kids for almost one year within the
space of 2days after following all
instruction given to me by this DR . i am very much
grateful for restoring peace in my marital
home' i pray God almighty give you the
strength and wisdom to help more people
having similar problem like mine. for help
you can reach him on his email address oguduspelltemple@gmail.com
oor call +2348071624262