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Chicken Wan Kee Me - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Chicken Wan Kee Me by Dave88: 6:30am On Apr 18, 2020
The first time I tried to killChicken ����

December 25th

I was 14 years old that time..

I laid down on the bed scrolling absent-mindedly on my phone reading several Facebook Posts. There was no light . Chai! My ba3� was 12% ....so as I was lying down on the bed...Nepa now flashed the light...kai! The way Nepa flash the light ehn....I had to shut my eyes to prevent tears from coming. All of a sudden, one notification appeared...It was from one girl (my classmate) like that that I kind of liked ....she's the type of girl that always reply *kk* to everything you send her. But on this particular day, she send me a message *hi, Merry Christmas* sharp...sharp, I replied *same to u .....how is u?* ...she answered fine and typed *plz I need a favour*
My heart jumped.....I was about to remove my sim abd break it then i decided to ask her *what is it*...She said *Nobody is at home, house is boring and I was wondering if i could come over to your place hope ur parents won't mind*

i replied *okay...u can come over.....my parents wont mind* then my ba3 died......I stood up with new found energy, and began to arrange the house MY CLASSMATE IS COMING AND ITS A GIRL FOR THAT MATTER!!

Then suddenly as I was done cleaning the house, My Mom shouted from the kitchen *Chuks u don kill dat chicken?* ....
I froze, usually it was my Dad that kills the chicken or sometimes one Uncle in our compound will help us kill the chicken....but this time my Dad travelled and the Uncle is not around.....chai!!...only me to kill chicken...and am the first born...ewo��‍♂️
I sat down and began to think of my life in the nearest future....when my wife will buy Chicken from the market and everybody in the house will be depending on me to kill it��‍♂️�

I walked into the kitchen to look for knife � and the only knife available was the one that was not sharp....u know those type of knife that no matter how u scratch am for ground, the knife no go sharp. The knife had a slippery handle that was sellotaped to the metal part of the knife (typical Nigerian Kitchen Utensil ���)
*Do quick....go kill the chicken sharp-sharp* my mom shouted, she was preparing fried rice in the kitchen
I was like *Mommy...no rush me na*..�� I walked outside with the Knife.. and I saw the chicken tied ...the chicken poo-poo scatter everywhere......T
As i tried to carry the chicken ....the chicken shift.....as i wanted to carry the chicken again . The chicken shift...na so me and d chicken day do oh until the cloth wey them use tie the chicken leg commot....u donn see Chicken wey day play temple run��‍♂️ Vuuuuuuuuuu ...vooooosh . The chicken ran out of the compound ... Everybody was shouting *hey...hey*
I contemplated whether I should start pursuing the chicken or I should go inside and wear my clothes (cos I was wearing only boxers�) ...i decided to pursue the chicken because my Momsy go shout if that chicken loss....

I ran out of the compound pursuing the chicken...I did not even wear slippers as I was running, my thing was waving left, right ,up, down,left,right,up, down
One girl in our area even had to mind to video me as I was running �
. � When I finally caught the Chicken....my boxers had torn and some feather on the body on the chicken had fallen off....I took the chcicke into the compound and as I entered the compound, my Mom shouted while holding a knife covered with blood *Chuks, where u go?*
I told her everything that happened and she answered *no be this chicken I tell u make u kill oh...the chicken no be our own...oh.....na Mama Kosi get am* I asked *ehnn?*
Then my mom continued *Na that one wey day backyard ....the one wey the leg break....The one wey no fit stand....but no worry urself...i don kill am now now come help me commot the feather...*The girl I was expecting came and saw me, At that point, I kept the chicken back where I found it and sat on the floor thinking about my village people.����

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