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Not The Way It Was. - Poems For Review - Nairaland

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Not The Way It Was. by poetictwenty(m): 9:04am On Apr 24, 2020
Moving around the street that now starves of human presence;
With birds chanting freedom songs from roof tops;
I journeyed hoping to kill off this boredom
That now shares a room in my caged house.

I saw grown grasses shining their green teeths,
As the play on the football field they once suffered daily stampede.
I saw freedom written on their faces,
As the dance to the drumbeat from a happy wind.
I saw the orange tree that was raped yearly smiling.
She was green, decorated by riped oranges.
Oranges that would have suffered from stones of hungry footballers.

I saw Nature having sun bath,
And animals playing like children of the nineties.
I saw birds watching from windows, like a man who visited a zoo.
Things looked different; not what it used to be.
ohuche, Joseph

2 Likes

Re: Not The Way It Was. by cassyrooy(m): 4:43pm On May 05, 2020
I like this.

It tells a story about how much life has changed from what it used to be. But I'll say you can do more on by making your stanzas longer and more detailed in imagery and content.

But great job again.
Re: Not The Way It Was. by Aiyamrex(m): 4:55pm On May 05, 2020
Well, what will i say than, it's a de-wonder-luxe-ful write up spiced up with some imagery you forced into my head. . . That orange
the field
the birds and those stuffs. . . How i wish you break those pieces into stanzas
and put in some more rhetorical devices. . .
once again
de luxe write up!
Re: Not The Way It Was. by Karanka: 7:06pm On May 07, 2020
Good job. Your poem is sweet and it seems to flow effortlessly. I particularly like how you make use of figurative expressions smoothly.

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