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My Husband Is A Loner - Family - Nairaland

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My Husband Is A Loner by Nobody: 4:28pm On Apr 28, 2020
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by phelonrays: 4:30pm On Apr 28, 2020
Your husband is my kind of man tho.....cheesy

Please don't contemplate on cheating oo, else you have it create a world of it own on your surrounding-members,, yes a world filled with guilt, uncertainties, self-denial, and[ the most tormenting one] REGRET ...... It wont be pleasing

Then on your Husband. He is a man maybe he's going through some strenuous time,
What if i opt you have a list of SUGGESTION, some sort of things you want him to insert in his life, discuss this list with him. Ask him to
check or evaluate the ones meaningful to him.Then
have him tell you the order he considers
most important. Use this list to learn what
speaks “love” to him. It’s likely very different
from what speaks “love” to you. Your
relationship can be strengthened by using
this as a guideline, then he may also retract seeing your diligence to the cause.......

Just my suggestion tho cool

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by SenorFax(m): 4:31pm On Apr 28, 2020
Engage him in talks, games, spice things up for him.
He might be going through a tough time.

He might not respond immediately during those things, but keep on with it, he either adjusts to it, or play along till he start opening up for real

Be his Friend, not just his wife.

5 Likes

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by MrBrownJay1(m): 4:32pm On Apr 28, 2020
sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.

sit your husband down, and have a serious discussion with him, so that you can understand what seem to trouble him....whether its him or YOU.

I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.

he probably knows the above, and therefore thats his problem... aka being married to some undercover hoe (excuse my French) who would gladly cheat if she could.

regardless of what you are going through at home,CHEATING will never be the solution...get real!

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Ningen(m): 4:33pm On Apr 28, 2020
You've both fallen out of love with eachother.

This explains your desire for an affair and his emotional withdrawal from you. Right now you are only tolerating eachother and the only thing holding what you have is the union.

To recover lost feelings, start with verbal expression. Tell him you love him anytime you see him. Woo him into loving you back, use your body, cooking, words and force him to crack.

You can also seek a professional. What a drag.

11 Likes

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Nobody: 4:34pm On Apr 28, 2020
sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.
Ahlaja laja,i will tell Ahlaji o
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Lexusgs430: 4:35pm On Apr 28, 2020
sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.


Get him a sexual companion, that would spice him up..........
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Bola146(f): 4:38pm On Apr 28, 2020
I can't marry that kind of man. The best thing is to go for counseling undecided Also try and teach him, throw yourself at him too.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Nobody: 4:41pm On Apr 28, 2020
start cracking jokes with him
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by CAPSLOCKED: 4:42pm On Apr 28, 2020
sweetyinks:
i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me

MAMA GIVE YOURSELF SOME TIME, YOU'LL GO AHEAD TO DUMP YOUR FAITH AND CONSCIENCE AND HAVE THAT AFFAIR BECAUSE IT'S WHAT YOU REALLY WANT... FOR YOU TO EVEN THINK OF IT.

6 Likes

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by caye(m): 4:43pm On Apr 28, 2020
hmm...hope it is not another "Seun Must Chop" topics?!

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by spiritedtete: 4:44pm On Apr 28, 2020
No serious discussion will make him adjust... he will come back to a normal state... he could be going through a mid life crisis. This most times doesn't need people to pet you out of.. you have to figure how to come out.


Give him sometime he will snap out... however he might also find a solace outside his marriage.. the key is dont frustrate him the more. All he needs now his strength and motivation. Not your nag.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by ednut1(m): 4:44pm On Apr 28, 2020
Alhaja he may be planning on taking second wife

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by donbachi(m): 4:46pm On Apr 28, 2020
Dance naked for him,lap dance and twerking..like 3 times a week.

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by crackkhaus: 4:46pm On Apr 28, 2020
sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.!
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.
Go ahead, it's just someone who will play, joke, and talk with you..right?

Just make sure no one catches you, I heard Sharia law can amputate women just for gisting with men they're not married to.

Alhaji may already be planning to bring in second wife sef.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by crackkhaus: 4:47pm On Apr 28, 2020
ednut1:
Alhaja he may be planning on taking second wife
Get out of my head angry

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by skedman(m): 4:53pm On Apr 28, 2020
If you can answer the following questions then a lasting solution might be gotten

Hope is business is doing well and fine ?

Hope is work place are not owing him salary ?

Have you cheated on him before and you were caught by him ?

Does he smile or make joke when initiating sex

Does he last longer during intimacy

Have you given birth to both male and female children ?

Have you see him laughing when making calls or when chatting with friends ?

If the above is well answered
Even if he is an introvert,sadist and snub he will still laugh when it comes to intimacy ,but will frown when you gossip about or you are only bothered about money or you are not doing what he wants.
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by budaatum: 4:55pm On Apr 28, 2020
MrBrownJay1:


sit your husband down, and have a serious discussion with him, so that you can understand what seem to trouble him....whether its him or YOU.
Did she marry her son whom she can order to sit down there?

I'm kidding! I'm sure you mean cook him his favourite meal. Drink him a couple of odekus to wash it down. Put him in that see through lingerie you been saving for that romantic night that never seems to be happening. Then, gbam!

"Honey, why don't you love me no more?"

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Nobody: 4:55pm On Apr 28, 2020
If he wasn't like this at the beginning of your marriage, then something changed.
Have a heart-to-heart discussion with him, then work things out from there.
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Graxie(f): 4:58pm On Apr 28, 2020
Most people here won't advice you based on your pain, the only thing they will be hinging on is the cheating side. They can't believe it that a woman can have such urge especially since she is meant to be a Nigerian woman. My advice to you is to speak to your husband, you know his best moment, let him know how you are feeling.
Don't nag, just be calm while passing your message. Moreover, the times are hard, are you sure he is not going through difficulty? You never can tell, just use your skill to make him open up. I wish you well sis.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by dennel(m): 5:01pm On Apr 28, 2020
sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.


For how long now?! Just keep it cool, and why cheat because he’s just a bit down lately?
Give it time sha, time heals a lot of things...

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Nobody: 5:01pm On Apr 28, 2020
What do you mean by you wish you had an extra marital affair? like are you even supposed to have an affair?.
Anyway since he was not like that in the beginning, Try and communicate with him, find out what is bothering him. He can't just change over night something must have caused it. try and strengthen communication between yourself and husband. you both should be open and able to discuss anything together, you should be his confidant. It may be work related issue or financial issue or you might have changed too. just try and find out what the problem is and work it out.

7 Likes

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Omar09(m): 5:13pm On Apr 28, 2020
MrBrownJay1:


sit your husband down, and have a serious discussion with him, so that you can understand what seem to trouble him....whether its him or YOU.



he probably knows the above, and therefore thats his problem... aka being married to some undercover hoe (excuse my French) who would gladly cheat if she could.

regardless of what you are going through at home,CHEATING will never be the solution...get real!

Where the green go?
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Omar09(m): 5:18pm On Apr 28, 2020
Graxie:
[s]Most people here won't advice you based on your pain, the only thing they will be hinging on is the cheating side[/s]. They can't believe it that a woman can have such urge especially since she is meant to be a Nigerian woman. My advice to you is to speak to your husband, you know his best moment, let him know how you are feeling.
Don't nag, just be calm while passing your message. Moreover, the times are hard, are you sure he is not going through difficulty? You never can tell, just use your skill to make him open up. I wish you well sis.

After yapping the ruled through nonsense up there, how's the bolded any different from what has been said here?
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Omar09(m): 5:24pm On Apr 28, 2020
To the op, listen to me. You pointed out he wasn't like this in the beginning, then the problem is You. As much as you hate to admit it, but it is you.

How do I mean?

You guys may have had a fight that prompted him to be by himself and stopped relating to you as his wife. Yeah, it does happen and it's perfectly normal.

Another reason maybe he has some fůcked up shit he is into and didn't want to bother you.

But in any case, you have to talk to him. Communication is the key!
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by obiekunie2: 5:38pm On Apr 28, 2020
sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.

1. how many kids do u guys have?

2. are things a little difficult for him now?

3. do u guys still conjugate?

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by LordKO(m): 5:45pm On Apr 28, 2020
1. A woman's sweetness (beauty is the eye of the beholder), or material possessions if dealing with a gold digging/opportunistic man, makes a man to develop feelings for her.

2. Her innate great qualities will make him to fall in love with her - of course, this takes a little time to happen unlike the above.

3. Mutual shared great innate qualities - his own great innate qualities that are in consonance with yours above - will make him to volitionally and cheerfully stay in love with her, regardless of circumstances, till death do them apart.

So if your husband married you solely because of the first point, it's obvious that the object of attraction isn't pleasing to him any more and there's nothing you can do, he'll even get worse. Meanwhile, if he married you because of the second point, with or without the first point, just remain yourself and hope for the best in the near future, as he's obviously in a new phase of life - he'll soon come back to his normal self or even in a better way.

6 Likes

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by bukatyne(f): 5:58pm On Apr 28, 2020
sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.

Your husband suddenly changed from the chatty person to someone who doesn't play, joke or talk.

I am thinking the first step is to ask him/yourself what changed?

What is wrong with him? What is he struggling with?

But no, you are thinking of cheating.

Goodluck.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Otunba80: 6:13pm On Apr 28, 2020
sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.
Mental issues. Is he a smoker(weed)
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by Highesschief1: 6:38pm On Apr 28, 2020
That was how I was feeling so bad one weekend because arsenal played one kind rubbish football, I couldn't eat, don't want to gist just wanted to be left alone.
Meanwhile I placed a bet with my guy for office and I will also have to buy beer for the rest of the guys on Monday as part of the bet.
So my mood was bad through out the weekend.

the yabbing from the guys and even some ladies on Monday will be badddd! and I was thinking why cant these arsenal player feel our pain as fan and save us this embarrassments.

Suddenly I got a call from my mother asking me what's wrong with me, that she spoke with my wife and she thinks all is not well in my home..

I went inside the room and met my woman acting moody... How do I explain to this woman that it was the rubbish defense that arsenal refused to buy that is responsible for my foul mood?

This is my advice madam.. Your husband might be battling some little demon and he is not ready to bring you in yet, it could something at his work place, his health or his family etc
we men don't talk about issues affecting us as easily as women because we are tought not to appear weak.
Give him time and space and this is the time to be his friend and please don't probe him as you might end driving him away and even irritate him.
He will eventually come around on his own.

But why is it that any time women don't get their man's attention the urge to cheat comes up?

1 Like

Re: My Husband Is A Loner by risos(m): 6:45pm On Apr 28, 2020
You thought marriage is for everybody, You are just doing yourself.
Re: My Husband Is A Loner by holocron: 7:02pm On Apr 28, 2020
Dear OP,

what has happened is that your material circumstances relative to that of your spouse has changed, and thus the
Dynamics of the relationship has also changed since the initial period. As a female you have unknowingly changed from whomever he thought he knew, and he is presently recoiling in shock. He will eventually adjust himself to what he is experiencing and evolve his own peculiar response to your new and present self. His failure to get a grip on the situation and engage your new personality will see him continue the withdrawal and aloofness. And that means he has accepted the death of that relationship.

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