SPORTSBET HALL, PIPELINE, IKOTUN: A conglomeration of Fools


No Shanty or Shack comes close. Not the Ogogoro Joints, not the Pool House, not even Baba Ijebu's numerous Lotto Huts and Shops. SportsBet Hall at Pipeline building, Idimu-Ikotun, beats them all hands down. A heavyweight champion in both structure and it's eclectic collection of Ignoramuses. Insecure semi-literates, Half-baked Graduates, Drunks, Philandering married men, Stark illiterates, Local touts, addicted gamblers at rock-bottom, aspiring millionaires... name it, SportsBet has it.
An employee here has to have a PhD in patience, insight and tolerance, or not. Altercations between employees and customers is not unusual, sometimes even getting physical. A week does not go by without a member of staff engaging in a some sort of shouting match with a Customer or Regular. Employees have serious scuffles amongst themselves too, and on two occasions that I was present they were separated by others including we the regulars. As for the regulars or Customers and visitors, they fight everyday. They fight over seats, over football opinions and all sorts but the fights are usually over use of the booking Computers.

The hall is open 7am-9pm everyday of the week and most football matches are shown here live. They have nice chairs, standing and ceiling Fans, and at least 10 large Flat screen HD TVs. The hall is fairly large, and is better than most viewing centers around. Since Entry is free (18 yrs and above), it attracts a lot of people, closeby and not too closeby, like myself.

Almost everytime I come here, I see or here something that is not right. There was this particular day I was bombarded with so much ridiculousness, it got me wondering what my people have come to. That was the day Nigeria played against South Africa at the last Africa Nations Cup.
It was a bit stormy that day. I was buying something at the Entrance/Security post, when the Guard told me told me to always take my Cap off anytime it thundered. Why? Because it was God talking. I should show respect for the Almighty, Lightning and Thunder are the Voice of God. "No that is not true" I replied. "It is oh my guy, it is" another man said, calmly nodding his head. I said: 'OK,' left them and went into the hall.

I entered the Hall and sat with some familiar faces. One guy was narrating to the rest of the group the tale of the Nigeria vs India Match. He explained how Nigeria through the blood of Sam Okwaraji, won the match just in the nick of time, 1 goal to a 100 of the Indians'. "Lol that's just a funny Fable na bro," I interjected. "No no no no no it happened, it was real," he retorted. I was speechless. I stood up, took my chair, left them and went to sit with another group.

Now these group of men were a very interesting set of people. They were all married and the youngest here would be at least 37, 38 years old. They were talking about how Lagos had changed, and how it now has very few good Brothels left unlike it did back in the 90's. "Most of them have shutdown, the few good ones with correct clean girls left are very expensive," one said in a tone of disappointment mixed with nostalgia, the rest of the group murmured in agreement.
The conversation went on till it somehow veered to them listing top Yoruba actresses in the 'game.' They mentioned their different price ranges, listed some influential men in the country that are their customers, the brand and specific model of Cars some drove and where some of them built their Mansions in Lagos. One man in the Group recanted that one time he was playing the talking drum at a party, and the breasts of popular Yoruba actress/Big Girl was touching his elbow as she sprayed him money. Apparently the 'point' in that flashback was that the actress in question was "high quality", that he had confirmed, and money was obviously not her problem, so any man that wants her must be a really rich man that is ready to spend a lot. I will not forget this day in a long time.

I've seen and endured a lot here all because of free football. Was it the constant objectification of women at the last Women's World Cup. One time the ball hit the chest of a player, one fool shouted: "Breast cancer oh, beware of breast Cancer oh!" I felt like holding his throat and punching several blows of sense into his head. Someone told me that if at 31 years of age if I'm not yet married - or at least have a child - I'm wasting my life. There was a time I was told to "Shut up!" While stating facts, not my opinions, not my ideas, Facts.

Many interesting characters are regulars here. We have the 40 Year Old Social/political Commentator who would criticize Soyinka, but sympathizes with Naira Marley, Supports Former President Olusegun Obasanjo, Kunle Poly, Dino Melaye and is a big follower of Big brother Naija. Gboys who can not just lay low. The failed footballer who has now turned to another way - The SPORTSBET Way - to make his millions.
One that stands out is a slim, short elderly man with a slight paralysis. When he is not doing SportsBet related stuff, he is either dancing Zanku to the amusement of regulars, talking about his life history and challenges or preaching the word of God to Us.

As you may have expected, People have said a lot really crazy things here, ludicrous scary things. I sometimes try to correct them or reason with them, but my efforts are usually futile. This a very short list of phrases and Nonsenses I've heard here:
"Only Poor men Drive Toyota Cars"
"AC causes Cancer"
"Money is an Evil Spirit"
"Poor people rarely fall Sick"
"People who wear tattoos are Irresponsible"... Just to name a few

Let me say at this point that SportsBet is not a den of Criminals or anything like that. Many football fans would like the energy here during major Leagues And tournament games. There are a sprinkle of cool guys here and there that drop by occasionally. It just attracts all manner of people because of its cool ambience, prompt cash out and free Cable TV.