1. You learn to be passive agressive. Why? Because voicing your real agressions will have severe ramifications. Grumbling internally becomes your greatest skill.


2. From age's 0–20, you're dead if they see you with the opposite sex. From 21 though, you'll starting getting queries about whether you've found a husband or not.
The sex talk consists of “You're going to hell if you have sex before marriage.”


3. If you're not top of your class, you've failed at life.
Your opinions and feelings will never matter because you'll always be “just a child”. Unless they need you to do something like drive them to the store.


4. They are the most dramatic people ever. Shit goes from 0–1000 really quickly. Didn't do the dishes? You might as well have joined a gang and sold your soul to the devil.


5. Any thing you've done wrong is broadcasted to 1 million relatives who will all call you to voice their disappointment. You will not know half of these people. “Zoe, I can't believe you didn't wash the dishes, you've brought shame on your whole family.”


6. To balance the previous point, they will also make sure to broadcast any good thing you do to make sure all your aunties with underachieving children get jealous.


7. 90% of your opinions are probably going to be dismissed as liberal nonsense.


8. You tend to think carefully about your actions because you know corpral punishment is awaiting you at home.


9. Don't ever ask to eat out. There will ALWAYS be food at home. Even if that food is a stick of butter, your Mom ain't going waste money on KFC.


10. Your friends are rated on a scale of “That good girl who studies always” to “That one whose skirt is always short”.


11. They always compare you to kids you know for a fact are worse than you. “Why can't you be more like Chinedu? She never gets into trouble.” Yeah Mom, Chinedu smoked a ten foot bong during Sunday School.
Any juice or snacks you find in the fridge is for visitors. Consume at your own peril.


12. If visitors give you any money, it goes to the Bank of Mom, never to be seen again. Ask for it six months later at your own peril.


13. If your friend's parents bought them an iPhone, ask your parents for the same at your own peril.


14. Never ask your parents what they perceive to be a stupid question; you'll get a sarcastic and unrealistic reply in return. “Mom, where should I put laundry?” “Put it on my head, idiot!”
Your Mom will kill you if you actually place the laundry on her head.



My parents are lovely though and I love them very much. They're not bad at all, just unique. (Honestly, I've exaggerated a little and my parents are a lot more relaxed than I've made them seem but oh well)

Follow my blog www.stevebuzz..com

Lol, so true.

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k2wise
Please respond to my mail.
You can ask about what I wrote in the mail from some forum members.
Waiting bro.