Programming is like sex. One mistake and
you have to support it for the rest of your
life
Why do programmers always mix up
Halloween and Christmas?
Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think
tomorrow.
Debugging is twice as hard as writing the
code in the first place. Therefore, if you
write the code as cleverly as possible, you
are –by definition–not smart enough to
debug it.
Any code of your own that you haven’t
looked at for six or more months might as
well have been written by someone else
Software is like sex: It’s better when it’s
free.
The trouble with programmers is that you
can never tell what a programmer is doing
until it ’s too late
Q: Whats the object-oriented way to
become wealthy?
A: Inheritance
Unix is user friendly. It’s just very particular
about who its friends are
Did you mean: recursion
http://www.google.com/search?
hl=en&q=recursion
Q: What is the difference between a
programmer and a non-programmer ?
A: The non-programmer thinks a kilobyte is
1000 bytes while a programmer is
convinced that a kilometer is 1024 meters
I’d like to make the world a better place, but
they won’t give me the source code.
Software developers like to solve problems.
If there are no problems handily available,
they will create their own problems.
There’s no place like 127.0.0.1
Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?
A: Because he didn ’t get arrays.
A good programmer is someone who looks
both ways before crossing a one-way
street
Q: What’s the difference between Software
Development and Sex?
A: In sex, you don ’t get a bonus for
releasing early.
Documentation is like sex. When it’s good,
it’s very good. When it’s bad, it’s better than
nothing.
The shortest programmer joke: I’m nearly
done
JIT Happens!
There are two types of people in this world
those who understand recursion and those
who don ’t understand that there are two
types of people in this world,
Administrator = Admin is traitor
Programmer’s son asks his father: Dad, why
do the sun rise on the east and set on the
west?
Father: It works? don ’t touch it.
Q: Why don’t programmers pray?
A: They don’t like throwing null pointer
exceptions!
In C++, your friends can see your privates
Funniest source code comments :
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0 1 . / / D e a r m a i n t a i n e r :
0 2 . / / O n c e y o u a r e d o n e t r y i n g t o ' o p t i
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0 6 . / / t o t a l _ h o u r s _ w a s t e d _ h e r e = 1 3
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0 1 . / / W h e n I w r o t e t h i s , o n l y G o d a n d I
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0 1 . p u b l i c G e t R a n d o m N u m b e r ( )
0 2 . {
0 3 . / / C h o s e n b y a f a i r l y r o l e n d i c e
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0 5 . r e t u r n 3 ;
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0 1 . / / D O N ' T S C R E W W I T H T H I S C O D E U N L E S S
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