DontBullshitMe:
You left out misandry.

You can create a topic on that, no one is stopping you.

A misogynist wouldn't even have a babe or wife. They hate women!!. You are probably talking about a controlling man, a narcissist or something but not a misogynist.

sassysure:

We raise our boys the wrong way. So the circle continues.

We complain about the men in our lives and yet ruin the lives of our sons.

My Nigerian friend here has 4 sons, add the husband and she works yet she is the only one who can cook in her family. First son is in the uni. Husband works 4 days and 3 days off. Assuming she has a daughter, she will die in the kitchen. U need to see her running around and she has lived in Europe more than 20yrs.
We bred those monsters. And tomorrow, we turn around to attack the daughters in law.
The circle continues

Aren't you a darling?

Na siddon look I dey so.

The sons mothers breed is different from the husbands they marry.

I have seen it play out over and over and over again.

One used to complain about husband not doing chores yet have trained the elder sister to wait on the younger son.

Maka why?

Oh! He is a man.

She is a woman and when she marries, she will be serving her husband.

Someone who has complained for years about her husband NOT wanting to be served.

Local woman cannot can.

traihit:
So sad people have committed atrocious activities using the Bible. Anyways, Satan used the Bible against Jesus so it depends on how you use it.

Whether you're religious or not, misogyny will find a way to express itself but if you want to use the Bible as your backing of misogyny, I'm here to burst your bubble.

Nowhere in the Bible did God or anybody told men to treat their wives in husband-servant relationship. Sarah treated Abraham as her master but the same Abraham listened to his wife and did her wish, then that balanced it.

Finally, while women are told to submit to their husbands as if they're submitting to Jesus, husbands are also told to love their wives to the extent of giving their lives for their wives (as Christ love the church and gave himself for it Ephesians 5 vs 25).

So if anyone says that the Bible supports misogyny, then they're looking for somewhere to hide.

Thank you.

The truth is that you can only bamboozle a woman who does not know her Bible.

One who does, forget it.

Just ask the man to name one woman treated as a doormat in the Bible.

One!

bukatyne:


Aren't you a darling?

Na siddon look I dey so.

The sons mothers breed is different from the husbands they marry.

I have seen it play out over and over and over again.

One used to complain about husband not doing chores yet have trained the elder sister to wait on the younger son.

Maka why?

Oh! He is a man.

She is a woman and when she marries, she will be serving her husband.

Someone who has complained for years about her husband NOT wanting to be served.

Local woman cannot can.

And the cycle continues

yvelchstores:
acknowledged Sir. So what do you call a man that exhibits the traits mentioned in the write-up?

As I said, those traits you mentioned are totally different from who a real misogynist is. Those traits are all evidence of a dysfunctional relationship or marriage

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/the-7-types-of-dysfunctional-marriages/

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/7-deadly-signs-dysfunctional-relationship-fiff/

Lemme help some guys here..one of the abrupt ways of operating as a temporary or permanent celibate is to be a misogynist. A real misorganist can stay for some years or for life without sex, ...because it doesn't appeal to him at all.
Misorganists are not like normal men...they don't have any intention to marry at all.
Madam, I'm not writing theories, what I'm writing is as real as the back of my palm. I have seen one...He hates his mother, sisters, female cousin, female colleagues, and anything called the female gender...
And we have the misandrists who also hate male family members, male colleagues, and anything called male gender.

Glink2018:



As I said, those traits you mentioned are totally different from who a real misogynist is. Those traits are all evidence of a dysfunctional relationship or marriage

https://www.patheos.com/blogs/davewillis/the-7-types-of-dysfunctional-marriages/

https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/7-deadly-signs-dysfunctional-relationship-fiff/

Lemme help some guys here..one of the abrupt ways of operating as a temporary or permanent celibate is to be a misogynist. A real misorganist can stay for some years or for life without sex, ...because it doesn't appeal to him at all.
Misorganists are not like normal men...they don't have any intention to marry at all.
Madam, I'm not writing theories, what I'm writing is as real as the back of my palm. I have seen one...He hates his mother, sisters, female cousin, female colleagues, and anything called the female gender...
And we have the misandrists who also hate male family members, male colleagues, and anything called male gender.

let me be honest. I do not agree. Are there men like you describe, yes but does it mean that the traits I listed is not linked to the same type of men, no.

sassysure:

And the cycle continues

Na so.

bukatyne:


Thank you.

The truth is that you can only bamboozle a woman who does not know her Bible.

One who does, forget it.

Just ask the man to name one woman treated as a doormat in the Bible.

One!

I tire.

yvelchstores:
let me be honest. I do not agree. Are there men like you describe, yes but does it mean that the traits I listed is not linked to the same type of men, no.

Madam, I can write volume of books on who a misogynist....infact, I have promised myself to write a book on celibacy..
You will agree with me that there are differences and similarities btw a rapist and a fornicator but they are not the same. All rapists are fornicators but not all fornicators are rapists

sassysure:

We raise our boys the wrong way. So the circle continues.

We complain about the men in our lives and yet ruin the lives of our sons.

My Nigerian friend here has 4 sons, add the husband and she works yet she is the only one who can cook in her family. First son is in the uni. Husband works 4 days and 3 days off. Assuming she has a daughter, she will die in the kitchen. U need to see her running around and she has lived in Europe more than 20yrs.
We bred those monsters. And tomorrow, we turn around to attack the daughters in law.
The circle continues

sassysure:



I have given up on her
So nice a lady. I have told her to go and retire in the village
Na your sister o.

This is the problem with so-called liberals; blackmailing, intolerant and hypocritical. Big shame how you labeled your "friend's" family as monsters just because they don't assist her in the kitchen being all men. And how you gave up in trying to change her -- interfering in her family setup.

So what's the difference between you and that ancient serpent all the way back in the garden of Eden?

bukatyne:
Interesting write up.

Wanted to call it 'Church misogynist' before I read the 2nd post.

In most cases, I do not think the Church is equipped to handle serious martial crisis.

And a lot of the men in the Church are as described in the OP because Churches have failed over and over to

1. Teach servant-leader type of headship;

2. Hammered on submission more than live;

3. Women have refused to study the Bible for themselves. I keep saying it, no wife in the Bible married to a good man was a doormat or fearful or afraid of her husband or treated like a slave or trash. From Sarah, Abigail, Rebekah, Rachel, the Rich Woman, Priscilla etc. etc.

4. Mixing up religion and culture: The submission & headship defined in Christianity is not same defined in religion. If you don't know the difference or with a man mixing the two up, OYO is your case.

Of all the women you cited, one was given to women as an example. Her name is Sarah. She called her husband Abraham lord. And you have been called to emulate her in obedience towards your husband. Scripture is clear and unambiguous about the expectations of wives towards husbands. It's never a situation of master-servant relationship but one where a woman airs her view in a quiet and gentle manner but realises it is the husband's prerogative to listen or otherwise.

bukatyne:
Interesting write up.

Wanted to call it 'Church misogynist' before I read the 2nd post.

In most cases, I do not think the Church is equipped to handle serious martial crisis.

And a lot of the men in the Church are as described in the OP because Churches have failed over and over to

1. Teach servant-leader type of headship;

2. Hammered on submission more than live;

3. Women have refused to study the Bible for themselves. I keep saying it, no wife in the Bible married to a good man was a doormat or fearful or afraid of her husband or treated like a slave or trash. From Sarah, Abigail, Rebekah, Rachel, the Rich Woman, Priscilla etc. etc.

4. Mixing up religion and culture: The submission & headship defined in Christianity is not same defined in religion. If you don't know the difference or with a man mixing the two up, OYO is your case.

Spot on. Let me add that because most churches are headed by men and men have fragile egos, you hardly see church leaders preach on men's flaws the way you hear women must submit, women this and that in almost all church services.

Why is it that male pastors don't preach on husband's adultery but you will always hear submission of women and dos and don'ts for women?

traihit:
So sad people have committed atrocious activities using the Bible. Anyways, Satan used the Bible against Jesus so it depends on how you use it.

Whether you're religious or not, misogyny will find a way to express itself but if you want to use the Bible as your backing of misogyny, I'm here to burst your bubble.

Nowhere in the Bible did God or anybody told men to treat their wives in husband-servant relationship. Sarah treated Abraham as her master but the same Abraham listened to his wife and did her wish, then that balanced it.

Finally, while women are told to submit to their husbands as if they're submitting to Jesus, husbands are also told to love their wives to the extent of giving their lives for their wives (as Christ love the church and gave himself for it Ephesians 5 vs 25).

So if anyone says that the Bible supports misogyny, then they're looking for somewhere to hide.

You spoke well but i must highlight the 2nd part of your 3rd paragraph about Abraham listening to Sarah "and did her wish and then that balanced it."

If I get you correctly, you're trying to draw a parallel of obedience between Abraham and his wife, Sarah using the incident where Sarah asked Abraham to send the concubine and her son away.

Firstly, Sarah knew she doesn't have the authority to send them away, just like she knew she couldnt send the concubine away when she was scornful of her after she realized she was pregnant. She complained bitterly to Abraham that her slave woman whom she gave to Abraham has become rude. Abraham then transferred the authority to her by saying "she's your servant, do to her what you wish". Only then did Sarah had the power to exert authority over Hagar.

So she asked Abraham to send them away which Abraham refused until GOD intervened by asking Abraham to listen to Sarah. Sarah at that point was an instrument in conveying GOD's directive of which HE can use anybody, eveb a child in similar regard. It can never be attributed to Abraham and Sarah sharing authority in the affairs of their home.

sassysure:

We raise our boys the wrong way. So the circle continues.

We complain about the men in our lives and yet ruin the lives of our sons.

My Nigerian friend here has 4 sons, add the husband and she works yet she is the only one who can cook in her family. First son is in the uni. Husband works 4 days and 3 days off. Assuming she has a daughter, she will die in the kitchen. U need to see her running around and she has lived in Europe more than 20yrs.
We bred those monsters. And tomorrow, we turn around to attack the daughters in law.
The circle continues

I don't think these mothers who are indulging their 'spoilt' sons' excesses should necessarily get a pass and I recognize that change begins at home and has to start from somewhere, but when you’re up against a culture that reinforces the opposite of what you’re trying to do at virtually every given moment, chances are that it’s going to be a lot easier said than done. The entire culture needs an overhaul lol

bukatyne:
Interesting write up.

Wanted to call it 'Church misogynist' before I read the 2nd post.

In most cases, I do not think the Church is equipped to handle serious martial crisis.

And a lot of the men in the Church are as described in the OP because Churches have failed over and over to

1. Teach servant-leader type of headship;

2. Hammered on submission more than live;

3. Women have refused to study the Bible for themselves. I keep saying it, no wife in the Bible married to a good man was a doormat or fearful or afraid of her husband or treated like a slave or trash. From Sarah, Abigail, Rebekah, Rachel, the Rich Woman, Priscilla etc. etc.

4. Mixing up religion and culture: The submission & headship defined in Christianity is not same defined in religion. If you don't know the difference or with a man mixing the two up, OYO is your case.

Never knew Christianity isn’t under religion...

cococandy:
[b]10)

Change a few pronouns here and there and we are talking about the whole general society. So maybe. Just maybe, our blame-the-women game that we are always playing, is responsible for raising misogynistic husbands

Woman, how do you always happen to take the words outta my mouth? How?

ccffwx:


Woman, how do you always happen to take the words outta my mouth? How?

May I never meet such men in my life.

ibkayee:

I don't think these mothers who are indulging their 'spoilt' sons' excesses should necessarily get a pass and I recognize that change begins at home and has to start from somewhere, but when you’re up against a culture that reinforces the opposite of what you’re trying to do at virtually every given moment, chances are that it’s going to be a lot easier said than done. The entire culture needs an overhaul lol

That thing is not actually cultural perse cos the men in my family cooks.
In fact, they cook better than girls.
I have a friend whose husband is Yoruba. That man can cook. There are specific food he makes better than his wife.
I have a benue friend too. Her husband is champion in the kitchen.

My dad trained all the boys how to cook.
We have to set examples for the kids so they don't turn out like majority of us.

sassysure:

That thing is not actually cultural perse cos the men in my family cooks.
In fact, they cook better than girls.
I have a friend whose husband is Yoruba. That man can cook. There are specific food he makes better than his wife.
I have a benue friend too. Her husband is champion in the kitchen.

My dad trained all the boys how to cook.
We have to set examples for the kids so they don't turn out like majority of us.

Yeah there will definitely be plenty of exceptions, the men in my family cook etc too, but the ones who are averse to it are more common than those who aren't

If I have sons this is definitely an area I will focus on

yvelchstores:
I am curious. The word love is relative to some extent. Pls could you explain what entails in this "show of love" from a man to his wife? Thanks for contributing.

Women will go into a relationship with a man knowing fully well his position on certain issues then try to blackmail him with words like misogynistic or narcissistic.

A man who wants his wife to serve him and sees himself as the authority at home isn’t always a bad person, it’s his upbringing and views about life. I don’t think men like this will hide their character during courtship and only reveal them in marriage.

If you as a woman are not comfortable with his views, it is your prerogative to leave the relationship. There are certainly many women who wouldn’t mind a relationship with such people.

Most times women while dating would not mind being under total control, as soon as they get married they then expect the man to change all that she made him accustomed to. Relationship is the time to push boundaries, if he walks away, he walks away. Don’t date Pablo Escobar and expect to be in a marriage with Adeboye.

McWordsworth:


You spoke well but i must highlight the 2nd part of your 3rd paragraph about Abraham listening to Sarah "and did her wish and then that balanced it."

If I get you correctly, you're trying to draw a parallel of obedience between Abraham and his wife, Sarah using the incident where Sarah asked Abraham to send the concubine and her son away.

Firstly, Sarah knew she doesn't have the authority to send them away, just like she knew she couldnt send the concubine away when she was scornful of her after she realized she was pregnant. She complained bitterly to Abraham that her slave woman whom she gave to Abraham has become rude. Abraham then transferred the authority to her by saying "she's your servant, do to her what you wish". Only then did Sarah had the power to exert authority over Hagar.

So she asked Abraham to send them away which Abraham refused until GOD intervened by asking Abraham to listen to Sarah. Sarah at that point was an instrument in conveying GOD's directive of which HE can use anybody, eveb a child in similar regard. It can never be attributed to Abraham and Sarah sharing authority in the affairs of their home.

You analysis is correct though I wasn't drawing a balance of obedience now. I was corroborating what Paul said in Ephesians 5. When a man loves his wife, it becomes easier to do what she wants but however, when there is a clash of interests, the husband's wish must prevail because he is the Lord of his house. God telling Abraham what to do here has his reasons though Abraham was only sad because of what Sarah demanded, he hadn't outrightly refused. The wife owes her husband obedience and in return, the husband owes his wife love. If one is obedient and the other treats his partner with love, then there's a balance.

eazzzy1:
Women will go into a relationship with a man knowing fully well his position on certain issues then try to blackmail him with words like misogynistic or narcissistic.

A man who wants his wife to serve him and sees himself as the authority at home isn’t always a bad person, it’s his upbringing and views about life. I don’t think men like this will hide their character during courtship and only reveal them in marriage.

If you as a woman are not comfortable with his views, it is your prerogative to leave the relationship. There are certainly many women who wouldn’t mind a relationship with such people.

Most times women while dating would not mind being under total control, as soon as they get married they then expect the man to change all that she made him accustomed to. Relationship is the time to push boundaries, if he walks away, he walks away. Don’t date Pablo Escobar and expect to be in a marriage with Adeboye.

it is not so. Before marriage these things are not bare. Then after marriage, suddenly he says his wife should leave Facebook, it's for her safety. Social media becomes ungodly. And her family? She is taking sides with them because she calls them on phone. He starts asking, "when last did u call them" and feels at home when he hears "I can't remember when last I spoke with them". She can't have visitors nor can she even attend weddings. Any avenue for her to be financially independent is a major threat.... All these things creep in after marriage, not before. But from where I stand, it's never to late to free yourself from such if you find yourself in it.

yvelchstores:
it is not so. Before marriage these things are not bare. Then after marriage, suddenly he says his wife should leave Facebook, it's for her safety. Social media becomes ungodly. And her family? She is taking sides with them because she calls them on phone. He starts asking, "when last did u call them" and feels at home when he hears "I can't remember when last I spoke with them". She can't have visitors nor can she even attend weddings. Any avenue for her to be financially independent is a major threat.... All these things creep in after marriage, not before. But from where I stand, it's never to late to free yourself from such if you find yourself in it.

Maybe these specific issues do not come up but you would definitely see signs of being overprotective, of not wanting anything to do with your family, being controlling, etc. the signs are never hidden. I agree with you it is never too late to walk out of such marriages.

How single people give advice or marital issues on Nairaland eh ,is mind boggling

cococandy:
Type one is a good amount of the population

Its not a matter of majority its a question of gud or bad, to think & act as a leader you must assume its ur right. a world without a leader is like cars without a driver.

jeff1607:
How single people give advice or marital issues on Nairaland eh ,is mind boggling

It takes wisdom to address things like marital issues. So both married and unmarried people who are wise will always be able to give solutions to marital issues. Knowing this is common sense, unfortunately common sense is not common.

bukatyne:


Thank you.

The truth is that you can only bamboozle a woman who does not know her Bible.

One who does, forget it.

Just ask the man to name one woman treated as a doormat in the Bible.

One!

How about we start with, what exactly dd the women in the bible enjoy that women of today are deprived.
Talking of "doormat" i think you shuld av stick to "slavery" a bit fair tho ... from genesis to revelation can you point to places .. wives assign domestic duties to there husband, upon say uncle solomon naa woman wrapper, how many times did he enter kitchen 4 a breakfast in bed
how many brides in d bible got honeymoon, how many of those ladies got a vacation, val gifts, a car to pickup there kids frm school or even had the opportunity to manage there home finances.
It pisses me off when women use words like "slavery"

youwanbanme:





How about we start with, what exactly dd the women in the bible enjoy that women of today are deprived.
Talking of "doormat" i think you shuld av stick to "slavery" a bit fair tho ... from genesis to revelation can you point to places .. wives assign domestic duties to there husband, upon say uncle solomon naa woman wrapper, how many times did he enter kitchen 4 a breakfast in bed
how many brides in d bible got honeymoon, how many of those ladies got a vacation, val gifts, a car to pickup there kids frm school or even had the opportunity to manage there home finances.
It pisses me off when women use words like "slavery"

First, you can not compare the times then and now:

For instance, there were no cars so if you say car to pick up kids, it sounds ridiculous.

For honeymoon, it is one year: Deut 24:5
“A newly married man must not be drafted into the army or be given any other official responsibilities. He must be free to spend one year at home, bringing happiness to the wife he has married.'' - NLT Version.

Breakfast/food in bed was for people who were sick e.g. Ammon and Tamar; A young man wrote love peom to his beloved (Songs of Solomon).

I don't know what you mean by managing finances however;
16 If a woman who is a believer has relatives who are widows, she must take care of them and not put the responsibility on the church. Then the church can care for the widows who are truly alone. 1 Tim 5: 16.

A wife was expected to financially care for the widows in her family. If she did not have access to money, they would have just instructed the men to do so.

Remember they had a myriad of slaves to do their chores so there was no 'need' assigning chores to the husband.

Read Proverbs 31 about the virtuous women and the major chore she did was cooking ( I am not saying women should not do chores). The wives all had slaves or maids. It was given to them at marriage sef.

Should women be submissive? YES. (The submission is also not the cultural definition or that she does not have a say). Afterall, the Bible tells us to submit to one another (some say it is husband & wife, others argue it is all Christians). The Bible sha can't tell everyone to be doormats to one another.

Same Bible expects the men to be servant-leaders, leading by example (not do as I say, do as I do) and loving. 1 Cor 13 deals with the attribute of that love.

The Bible also talks a lot about adultery especially directed to husbands (no man can claim Bible supports or overlooks male adultery). The Bible also speaks of consequences or condemnation of Adultery in many places.

Abigail was called a sensible woman. Why? Because when her husband refused David and Co passage, she ran up to them and mended the situation. Immediately her husband died, she remarried the King. The idea that women should not re-marry (if interested in doing so) is not even in the Bible. When the Bible talked about care of widows, they freed below sixty years to re-marry due to their 'passion'

Joseph was called a righteous man because when he found out Mary was pregnant, he thought of ways to break the engagement with disgrace to her (a man supposedly wronged o). The Bible does not support the hardness men exhibit under the guise of Christianity. Infact hardness of heart is a sign of someone not fully yielded to Christ.

Any woman who claims to be a Christian and does not study the Bible enough to know her rights and responsibilities is on her own. If she likes, let one traditional ancientic man use Bible to deceive her; na she sabi.

The Bible is NOT misogynist.

bukatyne:


First, you can not compare the times then and now:

For instance, there were no cars so if you say car to pick up kids, it sounds ridiculous.

For honeymoon, it is one year: Deut 24:5
“A newly married man must not be drafted into the army or be given any other official responsibilities. He must be free to spend one year at home, bringing happiness to the wife he has married.'' - NLT Version.

Breakfast/food in bed was for people who were sick e.g. Ammon and Tamar; A young man wrote love peom to his beloved (Songs of Solomon).

I don't know what you mean by managing finances however;
16 If a woman who is a believer has relatives who are widows, she must take care of them and not put the responsibility on the church. Then the church can care for the widows who are truly alone. 1 Tim 5: 16.

A wife was expected to financially care for the widows in her family. If she did not have access to money, they would have just instructed the men to do so.

Remember they had a myriad of slaves to do their chores so there was no 'need' assigning chores to the husband.

Read Proverbs 31 about the virtuous women and the major chore she did was cooking ( I am not saying women should not do chores). The wives all had slaves or maids. It was given to them at marriage sef.

Should women be submissive? YES. (The submission is also not the cultural definition or that she does not have a say). Afterall, the Bible tells us to submit to one another (some say it is husband & wife, others argue it is all Christians). The Bible sha can't tell everyone to be doormats to one another.

Same Bible expects the men to be servant-leaders, leading by example (not do as I say, do as I do) and loving. 1 Cor 13 deals with the attribute of that love.

The Bible also talks a lot about adultery especially directed to husbands (no man can claim Bible supports or overlooks male adultery). The Bible also speaks of consequences or condemnation of Adultery in many places.

Abigail was called a sensible woman. Why? Because when her husband refused David and Co passage, she ran up to them and mended the situation. Immediately her husband died, she remarried the King. The idea that women should not re-marry (if interested in doing so) is not even in the Bible. When the Bible talked about care of widows, they freed below sixty years to re-marry due to their 'passion'

Joseph was called a righteous man because when he found out Mary was pregnant, he thought of ways to break the engagement with disgrace to her (a man supposedly wronged o). The Bible does not support the hardness men exhibit under the guise of Christianity. Infact hardness of heart is a sign of someone not fully yielded to Christ.

Any woman who claims to be a Christian and does not study the Bible enough to know[b] her rights and responsibilities[/b] is on her own. If she likes, let one traditional ancientic man use Bible to deceive her; na she sabi.

The Bible is NOT misogynist.

The discussion is not about terminology or giving the bible a name that will never fit cos that book as no size. rather my intentions was a comparism of the world bible created and the world men created for women, lets be sincere without minincing words ..the world men created for women today is more favourable & comes with more benefits, the bible is not a misogynist so why are nigerian men "misogynist".
The number one reason why anyone wil term naija men 'misogynist" is because we've been a rigid barrier to "Equality" which does not even exist in creation.
I am trying to be civil here, buh if we are to judge from the bible someone who has NO SAY literally has NO RIGHT ...did yu knw wen it cums to marriages most women in d bible were betrothed ..next time just say you know ur responsibilities.
The bible as 66books written by 45 different authors over a span of 1200yrs buh zero female author, now justify a woman has rights in what she neva participated writing.
buhari is a naija man that best describes a traditional ancientic man ... yet seven women are given ministerial post out of 43ministers. bukyatne be grateful ancientic or not, today's world is better