In 2016 when I joined the flock of newly admitted University students, I became acquainted with a boy my age, who lived downstairs with his somewhat churchy elder brother and another room mate.

I remember too well, the times I found myself in the self-contained room shared by these three young men, and how it was a battle of will power not to scrunch my nose, or show that the room had an offensive odor of wet clothes and unwashed bodies, drowning in cheap air freshener.

This young man was called Nduka, and it was his brassy bush behavior that drew people to him. His self-mockery was top-notch. It amazed me how he threw jabs at himself, and welcomed sarcastic comments like they were disguised blessings. Our friendship was fostered on “abeg borrow me your GST past questions”, “you get pressing iron?” Enquiries that didn’t outlive ten minutes yet left my ribs aching from too much laughter.

You see, Nduka was not your regular University student who is prim and proper, with all dotted I's and crossed T's. Once, this young man showed me how he wore his body spray. First, he applied it on his right palm, then slapped the palm all over his clothes. I had been dismayed, amused even. But he wasn't done yet. Lowering his voice, he told me that “the perfume dey strong. As I apply I am like this na the best. E go last me till this semester end''.

I would always recall this scene each time our path meet now. Because in a flash of one academic year, one wouldn't believe that the old Nduka is this polished “A bigi nwa”, the proud owner of a luxurious room, a collection of expensive clothes, and a trophy girlfriend.

Nduka's story mirrors that of some boys I started university with. It only took 'abeg show me the way, your boy dey loyal' to the right source and die-hard consistency, for these boys to brush up, some ‘blowing’ to the extent of owning a Honda accord or Toyota Camry.

The starter pack is the same; a laptop, a generator to battle the sometimes epileptic power supply, and two phones - one smart phone that could replace the laptop anytime, and a small phone for family and friends phone call. The smart phone was meant for indoors, but if you must step outside with it, you have to wipe the gallery and call logs, even delete the Facebook and Instagram, because eke dey street, men are not smiling.

Whenever there was a raid in my street, you'd see them; the Gee boys running like headless chickens. Hiding their laptops, phones and generators. Tossing out the roll of weed and bottle of spirits. Nothing is spared. Not even the WIFI router or the tin of coffee on the table. Because Voom ka mma karịa statement. It is better to be safe than sorry.

One time, a poor girl decided to save the ass of a young man. A young lady with a benevolent spirit. She collected his phone when the bus ferrying us to student area approached a police check point. During the open your bags and wallets search, the policemen discovered she was with two smart phones and on further enquiries realized she couldn't unlock one of the phones.

The plot developed an unseen twist. The young man denied knowing her talk more of giving her the phone. His words were buttered in 'I swear to God' whilst touching his tongue and pointing the finger to the sky, his innocence as clear as crystal. Well, let me spare you the details. You know how stories like this end.

Two months ago, my junior brother, a boy of sixteen years, sent me series of WhatsApp messages;
Please I want to ask for a favor.
That your Facebook account of seven years, you fit dash me.
Please thank you.
Your guess is good as mine. Cat-fishing. It is only possible with old social media accounts. My Facebook account fits the slot. But acquiring a Facebook or Instagram account is just one step in tens of steps. You would need to get rid of the pictures, friends and personal posts. God help you if the owner of the account is a social media freak with thousands of posts, friends and pictures. It would take you weeks to get rid of all that cluster.

During the early days before Nduka learnt to guard his mouth, he once revealed to me the different types of Yahoo Yahoo. The highest of them all is the ‘Ifesi’. The type where you don’t have to hide your face to speak with your clients. You only need a strong charm backing you. It might cost you your girlfriend’s womb or a fetish like not bathing with water, before you start picking lots of money.

‘I chere na o gbaa aka? I know one guy that his own is to chop shit, nsi. Small boys like us our own is just luck. If you’re lucky, you’ll pick. If not, you can start a typing business’ he said, smiling.
‘The white men collected something from us, now we are taking it from them. E no easy, but we go make am. This na the surest way.’

I don’t know who started this dance. One moment, education is the key to success. Another moment, no be who no book, na who wise. What I know is this; surugede is the dance of spirits. Over my dead body would my brother step into Nduka’s shoes.

- Chinwendu Okafo ©

Interesting read.

To all niggas digging legit, God make you bigger. O ga adi nma!!


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Yahoo no good, but government don forsake the youths.

lol i can relate deeply with Nduka. i used to be like him sha until one day oo in my 5th year i sat in front of anatomy lab in on pavement thinking about my life on an empty stomach. Survival was tough, i only get to buy new clothes and shoes during exam period because i be pro mercenary running around exam halls writing exams. As i sat there thinking my guy joined me, this guy became my frined because i taught him relativistic mechanics in a way he never thought it was possible to teach physics in year 1. we talked about internet hustling, i told him my near success gists, he laughed. He told me to come to his house on a weekend and i did. dude opened his laptop and right there i saw something that changed my life forever. To cut long story short, a group of my department girls saw me one day and be like hmm guy u are shinning these days oo, see your phone, you smell nice, your clothes wow

i laughed lol.

My guy buy golf 3 for 2010. 1.3m
Another hostl mate got eod for 1.7m
All of them used aje
Wayback 2010. Dey drive camry 2007 dem dey call am voltron dah year as at 2010 o.

MedicH:
lol i can relate deeply with Nduka. i used to be like him sha until one day oo in my 5th year i sat in front of anatomy lab in on pavement thinking about my life on an empty stomach. Survival was tough, i only get to buy new clothes and shoes during exam period because i be pro mercenary running around exam halls writing exams. As i sat there thinking my guy joined me, this guy became my frined because i taught him relativistic mechanics in a way he never thought it was possible to teach physics in year 1. we talked about internet hustling, i told him my near success gists, he laughed. He told me to come to his house on a weekend and i did. dude opened his laptop and right there i saw something that changed my life forever. To cut long story short, a group of my department girls saw me one day and be like hmm guy u are shinning these days oo, see your phone, you smell nice, your clothes wow

i laughed lol.

I don't know how I feel about this.

I do hope what you're doing is legit.

It's a good that as a youth I have a very different mindset about timing.

Many people that did G and are still doing G, picking money, living flashy etc, no dey carry eye chook for their mata o.

If you feel oppressed and want to do, fine, but I'll advise you not to.

Sha, one thing I know is that I can never ever judge someone when I've never been in their shoes.

Government has forsaken the youth. I remember an episode in school, one final year guy was peddling his laptop he wanted to sell it for 10k.
10k!! He wanted to pay some stuff relating to his project and deadline was the following Monday.

People are suffering. Ndị mmadụ na ata afufu. Odiro easy.

But back to what I know about money and timing, whatever comes quick, goes quick. No two ways about it.

I've handled money before (legit) but because it came quick, I lost it in just under 4 months.
I learned a great lesson from there.

My advice, instead of joining the get rich quick gang and put your hands into diabolical stuff, I'll advise you to invest in the greatest investment ever: YOURSELF.

Real Estate o, Crypto ọ, no investment is greater than the investment you give to yourself.

Learn new things, things that will stand the test of time, devote your time to learn at least one new thing everyday. Walai talai I can bet you that the knowledge you acquire for yourself (I no say school o) would help you immensely in the long run because believe me I know how getting a huge amount of money in a flash is like and how you lavish it recklessly.

To my brothers out there that feel there is no hope, there is. I don't blame you for putting your hands into voodoo in the name of yahoo, na how country dey.

God bless

Ent3rpreneur:
It's a good that as a youth I have a very different mindset about timing.

Many people that did G and are still doing G, picking money, living flashy etc, no dey carry eye chook for their mata o.

If you feel oppressed and want to do, fine, but I'll advise you not to.

Sha, one thing I know is that I can never ever judge someone when I've never been in their shoes.

Government has forsaken the youth. I remember an episode in school, one final year guy was peddling his laptop he wanted to sell it for 10k.
10k!! He wanted to pay some stuff relating to his project and deadline was the following Monday.

People are suffering. Ndị mmadụ na ata afufu. Odiro easy.

But back to what I know about money and timing, whatever comes quick, goes quick. No two ways about it.

I've handled money before (legit) but because it came quick, I lost it in just under 4 months.
I learned a great lesson from there.

My advice, instead of joining the get rich quick gang and put your hands into diabolical stuff, I'll advise you to invest in the greatest investment ever: YOURSELF.

Real Estate o, Crypto ọ, no investment is greater than the investment you give to yourself.

Learn new things, things that will stand the test of time, devote your time to learn at least one new thing everyday. Walai talai I can bet you that the knowledge you acquire for yourself (I no say school o) would help you immensely in the long run because believe me I know how getting a huge amount of money in a flash is like and how you lavish it recklessly.

To my brothers out there that feel there is no hope, there is. I don't blame you for putting your hands into voodoo in the name of yahoo, na how country dey.

God bless

Daalụ nwanne

Chinwe4real:



Daalụ nwanne

Chinwe I like your profile pic