"We met at a wedding. He was very charming and his dressing was impeccable. At first, I caught him staring at me which made me uncomfortable. But somehow and quite strange too, I became interested in what he was doing. He moved over to the seat beside me during the presentation of gifts to the hosts- the newly married couple. His voice accentuated by a rasp was even more mesmerizing. My heart fluttered the moment he spoke. It was the moment that ushered in the vagaries of the next few years. Kevin was based in Malaysia. This, I got to know on our first date a few days after our meeting at the wedding. He was going to return the following week but he extended it for another two weeks so that he could spend more time with me."
I have been waiting to hear this story from Angela. And she is telling it today as if it was just yesterday.

"Our emotional attachment grew by the day. I would wake up every day looking forward to being with him. My mind was blown away completely- I started behaving in ways alien to me. One thing I did so well was to hold myself- in order not to submit to his sexual desires. Three days before his journey back to Malaysia, I went to his place for a sleepover. Around 12 am, he woke me up and dragged me to the sitting room. He went down on one knee and flashed a beautiful ring before me and then whispered in that raspy voice that blew my heart away on day one, 'Would you marry me, my sunshine?' I pulled him up, hugged him but my lips could not part to utter that desired response- I was trembling instead. I kissed him rather and managed to mumble a 'yes'. We made love that morning. That moment, my heart was taken captive by Kelvin."

"He returned to Malaysia three days after. I awaited his call but that didn't happen. One day turned to one week and one week to one month, but that call never came. I was so confused. But when the silence kept stretching, I had to bite the bullet and called his only sister who had shown a dislike for me right from day one. That would have yielded some results because I got a call from Kevin the next day. He was so sweet and had to come up with this pathetic story which I believed. Incidentally, our relationship became patchy thereafter. He would stay for three months without calling. When I did call, he wouldn't pick. His family was cold whenever I talked to them about him. Then, about one year after I met Kevin, I was going through posts on Facebook and stumbled on a familiar image. It was Kevin's page but it was registered with a different name. This shocked me because he told me that he was not a fan of the App. I started flipping through the pages and stumbled on a wedding invite. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Kelvin was going to wed the following Saturday- but not with me. I found out from comments on a particular post that he had been in Nigeria for a couple of days preparing for the wedding."

"That my heart was shattered would be an understatement. The future that I had hoped for went into life support without warning. I couldn't eat, sleep nor step out of the house. I would be in my bed crying all day. It was amazing that I didn't think about suicide as an end to my misery. One day a friend came by to see me. She had suffered heartbreak too but had healed completely. She talked some real sense into me and concluded by telling me that Kelvin did not deserve me. I got to hear later that Kevin did the same thing to three other women. My condition wasn't easy because I loved him and gave him my heart, but I started feeling better little by little. With time I made some emotional adjustment and got stronger. Five months later, I would meet Douglas in a friend's house. I was more careful this time but I didn't need to be because Douglas was an angel. We had our wedding within six months of our crossing paths. Presently, we reside in Canada with our three children; two boys and a girl"

Angela concluded, "Not that I care because I moved on but I later learnt that Kelvin was arrested with drugs at the airport in Malaysia. He was executed after facing trials. I do miss him at times because he was the first that I loved that way."

REFLECTION
It is normal to feel reduced to nothing because a man walked out of your life. But remember that while you wet your pillow at night and smear your mascara in the day, he would find comfort in another woman's arm. You are bound to become so distracted by trying to impress him to take you back. This would blind your human compass from locating or noticing those who really deserve you. You would end up in a wrong course- so unfamiliar -that you are washed up the wrong shore.

-ALL FOR A MAN WHO DOES NOT DESERVE YOU

But you need to STOP the tears from blinding you from the opportunities ahead of you. And there are many out there. It took a heartbreak from Kevin for Angela to realize that she deserved much more.

I say to everyone whose heart had been broken to remain focused and keep believing on better days ahead. Our hearts get broken every day- by those failed promises from the politicians, friends, loved ones, the church, the government, our families, to mention a few. But life would always present us with better opportunities. Though you have to be in the right state of mind to take them.

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