[b][/b]Diane's body language appeared solemn. "I became a widow after my third child. She was barely 3 months old when her daddy- who was my husband too- was murdered on his way back from work. I was left with three girls to look after. My parents literally worked through hell to raise my other four siblings. It was very daunting despite the fact that they leveraged their combined resources. The mountain that my parents climbed with two sets of complete legs was staring before me- unfortunately, I had one shaky leg in my arsenal to follow in their footsteps. I knew the odds were stacked against me but I swore to do my best to raise the girls, or die trying."

Diane puffed and said, "One great mistake I made though was underrating the impact of my husband's death vis-á-vis the cooperation expected from his brothers. Hardly had he been buried when they started scheming to take everything away from us. The only reasonable one that pretended to be on my side wanted a bargain; I was told to warm his bed or lose the support. I refused with no iota of ambiguity."

Diane continued. "All hell was let loose for my refusal to sleep with my late husband's brother. This would end up uniting all of them. I was told by a wife to one of the brothers that they were licking their lips because I had no male child to claim an inheritance. They devised a perfect plot to put my husband's murder on me and then send the children and me away. This would clear the road for them to confiscate our property in the city and the plots of land in the village. And they succeeded. I was ready to fight back but my mother advised against this. I remember her saying to me, 'my late father used to tell me that you don't fight for the chairs when you haven't secured the land to set them on. The safety of your children is paramount. Let us do the first things first'. I paid heed to the advice and left with the kids to go and put up with my mother. My children and I would do all menial jobs to make money. We served concrete as masons at building sites. We went to the locations of wedding and burial ceremonies to help the celebrants or hosts secure valuable items by gathering used plates and empty bottles at the end of the ceremonies. This was how my girls were able to graduate from the university, one after the other."

She sighed and went on. "We thought we had weathered the storm but tragedy struck again; I lost my first child in a fatal road accident during her National Youth Service Programme. She was just two years away from practicing as a qualified surgeon. Losing my husband was huge but this one became the apogee of my sorrow. I didn't know I would recover from it. Whenever I reflect on my past travails, I become resigned to the fact that the need to live and fight for Jane and Jessy kept me going. Both later graduated but none could get a good job. Jessy, my second child, returned to the village and resorted to serving concrete to earn some money for the family and herself. It was while doing this that she met Barry at his building site. Her agility and humility fascinated Barry who was a medical doctor based in the US. They got married three months after their first meeting. During their wedding, Jane who was the chief bride would bond and get married to Jason, the Bestman. Jason was a senior military officer with the Nigerian Army. He came out of the military cadet a few years back."

She concluded, "Jessy's marriage was the turning point that we all needed and hoped for. The pieces of the jigsaw puzzle started falling into place. I got my spiritual mojo back. I knew immediately that it was time to recover everything they took away from me. Backed by my kids and third husbands, we took the fight to my late husband's brothers. Jason as a senior army officer intimidated them with his connections while my last child who graduated as a lawyer had a spectacular outing in the court. They all ran away with their tails in between their legs. I later followed Jessy to the United States. I lived there for 13 years and got my citizenship in-between. My husband's brothers were dragging my village citizenship with me because I bore girls for my husband; but today, by His grace, I have United States citizenship. Thank God I didn't die dragging those property with them. I established a good business in the US where I sold African dishes and cuisine and it thrived beyond expectation. I would have left those property for them if not for the way they treated me. But in the end, I needed to reward someone. In this regard, Jessy and Jane suggested that I adopt a son. We did just that. He graduated as a medical doctor and I single-handedly built a hospital in my village for him- so I could give back to my people."

REFLECTION
Diane understood the concept of perseverance. She knew her life was not going to succeed on irrational short term measures- like fighting her husband's brothers head-on at the wrong time. She knew that if she had to survive, she needed to do the little battles of life first. She understood that her major fight was with hunger and the education of her daughters. Those victories from the smaller battles gave her the leverage to go all out for the war of life. The survival of the girls was set at the top of the priority list. Don't allow distractions to take your attention away from what needs to be done.

Never allow difficult times to dampen your spirit. Stay inspired and always remember that what doesn't kill you would make you tougher and keep you in shape to fight the challenges ahead. Your efforts and sweat will make sense one day.


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