Gmathias:
- One idiot used gunshots as his ringing tone. His China phone rang in the bank today, over an hour we're still looking for the cashier and two security men.

2- This Nepa will Bring Light when someone is sleeping. as if someone paid for MTN night plan. May sense locate you people today.

3- Nigerians will go to burial, they'll cry and still carry food to their house.

4- Some guys can deceive. They'll be like ''Baby I see my future kids in your eyes.'' Welldone sir chairman of national population census. Hope you're seeing goldenmorn, pampers, school fees and other baby food on her forehead too...

5- Some people are blessed with wickedness. How can I beg you for salt and you are telling me that your mum has counted it...

6- I cried for 2 hours when one girl told me she took first in her waec result...

7- Missed those people in primary school that used to say ''If I give you one dirty slap, you'll fly to America." Come and slap me now oooo..

8- A scientist wanted to develop a bra that stops women's breast from bouncing while running and also another bra that doesn't show nipples when wet. We guys don't panic. We killed the idiot immediately...

9- Nigerian Girls love money. You'll get angry and tell a girl, "Go to hell." She will look at you and said, "I don't have transport fare"

10- Someone covered my eyes from my back and ask me to guess who he was. After guessing for 5 minutes, I removed his hands and saw a mad man. Bros, come and see temple run...

11- When money is involved, Nigerian girls will be like, "I love his mouth odour it's so matured"

12- I mistakenly step on a soldier's boot, when trying to board a taxi. The next thing I heard was, "are you in ZAIN?" Something was telling me to reply "no, I'm in MTN." No, God forbid ooh, the devil won't get me this year...

13- The hardest thing to find this day is to see a girl without a boyfriend. Everywhere is occupied...

14- When you build a house, let your wife decorate the ceiling. She has seen more ceiling designs than you. Am I communicating?

15- If you want to be my friend, be my friend, If you want to be my enemy, be my enemy. Stop confusing the thunder that will strike you.

16- If you read all this post without liking or dropping any comment, I promise you, your phone will fall inside hot oil. I mean the condemming one...

17- Bathroom is for slim girls. Fat girls should go to car wash...

18- My girlfriend travelled to London with my earpiece and charger. Is it okay for me to tell someone I have properties in London?

19- Nobody knows short cuts more than a driver who doesn't have a drivers license...

20- Confussion is when you go to the kitchen to steal meat from the pot, and you forgot if the spoon was on top or inside the pot.

I think it is time for me to live. Please, I beg those of you reading this post to patronize me by living a comment or sharing the post to your friends. Also, don't forget to follow me up for more jokes. It is always my pleasure to put a smile in your beautiful face. I love you, but our God loves you most. Thanks...