I started my personal development journey when I was 16 years old. When I was 18, I had about two years of effort under my belt, while most of my peers were wasting their time away on video games and beer.

I wasn’t very consistent with everything at that age because I was still too young and distracted, but I was on the right track – I was lifting, reading whatever I could get my hands on, and was in the middle of my Chartered Accountancy degree.

Today I’m in my 20s, and I’ve made miles and miles of progress since I was 18 – physically, financially, mentally, and spiritually, I’m a completely different person than I was at that age. Life has been a blessing.

That being said, I’m young enough to remember how my peers and I were at 18 years of age, and old and experienced enough to know what can be done to set yourself apart for the future.

I did lay out the general premise in the open letter I wrote to all young men titled “Don’t waste your life”, however, with this article, I wanted to be a little more specific.

If I could meet my 16 or 17 or 18 year old self, here is what I would tell him:

1) Stop seeking the approval of your friends:
Peer pressure is a natural thing in your teens. Your hormones are pushing you away from your family to explore the outside world on your own terms, and you want to bond with people your age and create new friendships and alliances.

However, the reality is that most people you know and will ever know at this age will be with you for a short time – usually as long as you are physically in the same place together. Most of the friends you make will not be your friends a few years down the line when your education gets done and you enter the “real world”.

The very people you call “friends for life” are the people you will forget about and barely speak to once you are no longer in each other’s physical proximity.

A few rare ones will stick around over the years, but most of your current friends will not be relevant to your life in a few years – many, you will not speak to ever again once school/college gets done.

When you are doing something to impress your peers or seek their approval, you are investing in a sinking ship – something that will not be relevant in a very short amount of time and will have no payoff. It is a mistake to sacrifice your well being to win the approval of people who you won’t even speak to once you are out of school!

Just go your own way, do what is best for you, use your own judgement, and let the “friends” who won’t accept you, reject you.

It is hard to care little about what people think of us because we are genetically hardwired to seek tribe/group approval as a long term survival mechanism – but remember, these people aren’t going to be around too long. The approval of your college and school friends is utterly irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

You will be around you forever, and you will never regret investing in yourself. So put yourself first.

2) Don’t drink, smoke, or take drugs (including digital drugs like video games and internet porn):
In line with the previous point, use your judgement to do what is best for yourself, not what will seem cool to your friends or helps you fit in with them.
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Thank you ma

Well said

Well said Thank you