CHAPTER ONE - How to rob a Bank

“If you faint in the day of adversity your strength is weak.”

“But for how long do I have to stay strong.”

“Until you find the loop.”

“Loop? Which loop?”

“Everything in this world is on a loop. Day and Night, Life and Death, the seasons of life and so on. They are all in a loop. The journey to success and prosperity is also a loop. Loops are usually clearly seen but not always easy to define or decipher.”

“So how do I find the loop? What do I need to know?”

“It is not just knowledge. It is who you become.”

“Hmm.”

“It is the honour of God to hide a matter. It is the glory of man to search it out.”

“But if knowledge won’t do it, what would?”

“Wisdom and understanding. Wisdom is the principal thing, get wisdom and in all your getting get understanding. For good understanding produces favour.”

“Hmm.”

“Have I helped you?”

“I think so.”

“Find the loop. Once you find it, everything becomes relatively easy.”

“Ok sir. Thank you sir.”

“In the past two years that you have become a worker in this church, I have seen your diligence and devotion. It is an honour for me to be your mentor. And I know things will soon turn around for your good very soon by God’s grace.”

“Amen in Jesus name.” he responded fervently.

“Kneel Brother Ayobanji. Let me pray for you before you go,” said his pastor and mentor.

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Ayobanji sighed as he remembered the “Loop” conversation with his pastor and mentor. The discussion was over a year now. His pastor had relocated to Canada shortly after, and within a month, Ayobanji’s bakery and poultry had closed down permanently. He had inherited the businesses from his late father.

“Hey Ayobanji, hope you know you are on duty tomorrow,” the Unit Head called out to him.

He snapped out of his reverie. “Oh! Ok sir,” he responded soberly.

“Eeyah pele, I don spoil your Saturday for you.”

“No issues sir, I’m good.”

Don’t worry, you have the whole of Sunday to rest.”

“Thank you.”

“And you really need the rest o.. You look tired.”

“Ok sir.”

“Ok then. I will see all of you on Monday,” their Unit Head announced.

“Bye bye sir,” chorused the 7 guys and 2 ladies in the room.

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“Did you get?”

“I never check.”

“The promotion list is now na. Log on and check for your name.”

“I will do that later.”

“You no need promotion? Abi dem give you last year.”

“I’m overdue sef. I’ve not been promoted in the last 4 years.” Emeka replied with anger in his voice.

“Haba, kilode,” said Dele, who was his colleague.

“The HOD said that as long as he was here, he won’t recommend me for promotion.”

“Na wa o. Wetin you do the man.”

“He asked me to recommend a particular loan request for approval. But I tell am say I no fit.”

“Haa, you sef.”

“Guy, how I go put head for kasala wey I no go benefit from.”

“Hmm, na true sha.”

“So I no dey bother myself dey check for promotion. If it comes, all good. If not, life goes on.”

“Hope you don dey apply to other banks.”

Emeka smiled ruefully, “Dem no gree give me the next grade. They will only take me if I agree to move on the same grade level that I’m on here.”

“Why?” Dele asked.

“This year I have gone to 4 different bank interviews. They have all asked me why I have not been promoted. How do I explain that my HOD is the one doing me?”

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“How much do you have saved?” Chinwe asked.

“About 500k,” Silas replied.

“That should cover for the hall, food, drinks, your clothes and your groomsmen.”

“I guessed as much. You know I just paid close to a million as rent for this place.”

“I know. But we need to figure out how to fund the wedding. We have less than 6 months to it.”

“Don’t worry. Something good will come up one way or the other.”

“Should we shift the date of the introduction?”

“No. We’ve done that before. We are not shifting the date. We’re getting married this year, one way or the other.”

“I’m scared that there won’t be enough for the wedding. Especially when my father’s family members make their demands.”

“Relax babe. I’ve got this under control.”

To be continued

Signed

King Olulu

CHAPTER TWO

Ayobanj’s football age was 25. Officially, he was 24 when he started working in the department of Information Technology Services.

And if you are wondering what is a football age? Well, football age is the age you declare on a sworn affidavit. Most times, your real age is 5 years (or more) plus X. In this instance, you don’t need to find X. Your football age is the X.

At 32 years old, Ayobanji was married with two children. He had finished his HND 7 years earlier. And after serving for one year in the National Youth Service Corps, he started working with his father. His father owned a bakery and a poultry farm. He had joined his father’s business because he felt obligated to. After all, it was the business that paid for his schooling and been the only son of three boys that was resident in Lagos and unmarried at that time, he had no good excuse to hide behind.

He got married 2 years after graduation and his father died 6 months after his marriage. For the next two years, Ayobanji struggled to keep the business going.

He had graduated with an HND in Computer Science and had obtained several certifications from online courses. His plan after graduation was to work for some years and further his education before setting up his own business. But life had other plans. He was stuck with a business he had no interest in.

After his father’s business closed down. Ayobanji went job hunting. But without the requisite experience in his course of study, many were the rejections he got. The only jobs he was able to apply for were for contract employees with lower educational qualifications than he had. Thus, he had gotten his current job at the bank using his OND certificate.

It was the use of his OND certificate to secure the bank job that necessitated using a sworn affidavit to affirm his football age.

Within 3 months of resuming at the bank job, it was pretty obvious to his supervisor and colleagues that he was over-qualified. And given his natural diligence, he got more work and responsibilities than other contract employees in the department. Also, he was often sent to other departments to resolve IT related issues. He loved the work, but the pay was not commensurate to his workload.

“I can’t continue like this,” he thought to himself as he drove to the office. “This every Saturday work no be am at all. I need an upgrade in pay and status.”

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He had hoped and prayed that he won’t fall in love with a lady who was the first born of her family. He was the first born of his own family. He knew, felt, experienced and did not enjoy the burdens, financial and otherwise, that came with being the first born in a middle class family.

However, we often never choose the one we fall in love with. Love just happens.

When love happened to him, his wish was partly fulfilled. He fell in love with a lady who was the 2nd born child of her family. But the first born of her family had died at a very early age, so she had naturally assumed the position of the first born.

After three years if courtship, they had had to shift their family introduction ceremony twice in order to raise enough money for the wedding proper. But there was always something that came up, either in terms of school fees for their siblings, sickness of parent or some other unexpected expenses that ate into their savings.

But this year Silas was determined to get married no matter what. He was not getting younger and unlike his father, he didn’t want to use his pension to pay for his children’s school fees.

He had rented a two bedroom apartment and moved out of the family house. He had also taken a car loan from the bank where he worked at a marketing executive. It was the money left after purchasing his car that made up the N500,000 he had saved.

He looked lovingly at his fiancee, Chinwe, as she slept naked beside him. They had met up at his office for their usual “Thank God Its Friday” hangout and then ended up at his place in the early hours of Saturday morning. She worked as an administrative officer in a private secondary school. Her work hours were flexible but the pay was small. Her father had died 10 years ago when she was about entering the university. He left behind her mother, Chinwe and her younger siblings, a sister and a brother. Upon graduation, she had joined her mother in financing the education of her siblings. Her mother was a trader in Balogun market.

In his own case, both parents were still alive and both were retired. Thus , he was officially responsible for them and his 6 younger siblings of 3 sets of twins, 2 sets of male and a set of female.

He glanced at the wall clock and saw it was 15 minutes past 8am. He contemplated whether to wake her up so he could drop her off at her place. so he can go on his usual weekend marketing runs at the Gym. She adjusted her sleeping position from laying her side to lay on her back. The duvet shifted down and exposed her right breast. He stared at the naked rounded mound of flesh for a minute. Then he placed his hand on her exposed right breast and gently massaged the nipple into the ample flesh. She stirred a little, adjusted her body and moved her arms, so that the duvet slipped away, which exposed both boobs.

He glanced at the wall clock again. “Marketing will have to wait, I need to feast on this beautiful body,” he said to himself. He moved his body closer to her, circled one of the boobs with his lips and softly nibbled the nipple. He then grabbed and gently kneaded the other breast.

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Emeka woke up abruptly. He stared around the room wondering what woke him up.

Then his phone rang and he picked it up.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hi love.”

“Hey, whats up?” He replied and bit his tongue before calling out a name. He was unsure of which one of his many lady friends was calling him.

“I’m fine. And you?”

“I’m doing well. It was your call that woke me up.”

“You went clubbing without me, abi?”

“No. I was too tired to go anywhere. Besides, I had nothing to celebrate. The bank did not promote me again.”

“Eeeyah, so sorry love. Do you want me to come over and cheer you up?”

“Maybe later. Just want to be alone for now.”

“Ok love. I will call you later to let you know I’m on my way.”

“Ok, no problem.”

“See you then. Don’t think to much about it, ok? I love you,” she said gently.

“Same here. Bye,” he muttered and cut the line.

He laid back on the bed.

“I need to do something. I can’t continue to be treated like shit by people who don’t appreciate my value.” he thought to himself. Then he said aloud, “ If only there was a way I could get back at them.”

To be continued

CHAPTER THREE

“Hello, my name is Emeka, I’m your new boyfriend.”

She looked up from her food and smiled. “What happened to the old boyfriend?”

“It was about time you got an upgrade.”

“Ok, boyfriend, do you come customized?”

“Yes, to every need.”

“And what do I need right now.”

“TLC aka Tender Loving Care”

“She smiled brightly. “I like you already.”

He smiled back. “But there was a little information that was not loaded into my software.”

“Which is?”

“The name that matches your beautiful self.”

“Well, boyfriend…your upgrade might not be an upgrade after all.”

“It is just a tiny bug, I’m sure you can easily help de-bug.”

“Why should I?”

“Well, I could use many words to tell you why. Or we could seal it with a kiss. Be it French kiss, German, Nigerian, Chinese, Black or White. Just seal with a kiss and you will have your why. Just lips on lips, enjoying the taste, the feel, the moves, the flicks, the sensation…”

“Haa bros. Is it only kisses you are programmed for?”

“It is written in Songs of Solomon Chapter one verse 2, let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for my love for you is better than wine. And in Proverbs 5, verses 18 and 19 says, …rejoice with the wife of your youth. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times.”

“Hmm.”

“Should I go on?”

“You are indeed well programmed.”

“So now, can I know your name my fair lady?”

“I will tell you after the first kiss.”

“Ok.”

He bent at the waist towards her, as if to kiss her. She left her food and fled from the bank’s cafeteria.

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She smiled as she remembered why she had quickly left the cafeteria.

She had seen her Unit Head watching her, as well as, 3 of her colleagues in the department. Her Unit head, who was married with children, had been trying to have an affair with her. She had always tactfully refused his advances.

Despite the fact that the kiss did not happen there, her Unit Head had used it against her. At 8am the next day, he had sent a mail to everyone in the unit except her. At 4pn in the evening, he approached her demanding am update on the assignment he sent out. She had stared at him blankly, with no idea of what he was talking about. He had then go on a tirade on why young ladies ought to pay more attention to their jobs and be more serious with their life. He concluded his rant that such ladies usually end up unhappy as guys would only use and dump them.

Her Unit Head did this same move for two consecutive week. By the 3rd week, she was ready for him. One of her colleagues had forwarded the Unit Head’s mail to her and she had worked on it all day. She sat calmly at her desk, smiling at him, as she waited for him to finish his now usually rant. After he was done, she stood up, walked to him and said, “ sir, here is the report you asked for.”

He looked at her surprised, took the report and slowly read through. It was detailed. He looked at her smiling face. He then walked slowly back to his office.

He stopped his rants and advances at her.

She smiled wider as she remembered the first kiss with Emeka. She had gone to his place a week after they met. “He is indeed a good kisser and lover,” she said aloud, “and I could do with some TLC right now.”

“Huh?” said her Cousin, looking up from the book she was reading. “Were you talking to me?”

“No. Just thinking aloud dear.”

“Emeka, abi?”

She smiled. “How I for do na?”

“Kai, I just hope say the guy no go break your heart o. You don fall yakata for him.”

“Me? Fall ke?”

“Will you keep quiet. Or you wan make I stone you my book?”

“I no fall na.”

“How long have you even known him?”

“A month.”

“Hmm.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“Talk na.”

“Just be careful.”

“Always na. You know me.”

“Yeah yeah. You wey like to dey code things.”

“I was going to tell you about him na. I just wanted to be sure of things between me and him.”

“No issues dear. Just be careful.”

“I no be small girl na. You forget say I go university and I dated guys there.”

“But this is the first time you don fall yakata for man.”

“Well, love happens to us all.”

“I know love. I know it well enough. But the heart of man is desperately wicked. So again, I say, be careful.”

“Yes ma.” She stood up and headed for the bathroom.

“This one wey you wan go bath, are you going to his place?”

“I just want to check up on him.”

“Madam checker.”

“No na. He was sounding down because he was not promoted at the office.”

“Oh ok. Eeyah.”

“So lemme go cheer him up.”

“Sha don’t stay long in the bathroom. Me sef wan go look for my own Emeka.”

They laughed.

To be continued

CHAPTER FOUR

“Somebody die?” He asked as he drew a chair and sat down at the table, “why the two of una con dey look morose like this.”

“Nobody die bro,” Silas said as he shook hands with Ayobanji. “Na Emeka dey mourn say dem no promote am.”

“Eeyah, Emekus, why na? You thief your oga babe?” Ayobanji teased as he shook Emeka’s hand.

“The man don say as long as he be my oga, I no go take eye see promotion,” explained Emeka, and took a sip of his beer.

The three of them had met at this same bar about 6 months earlier. They usually came to the bar after work hours to drink a bottle of beer or two, while they waited for the hold-up, caused by the high number of vehicles, on 3rd mainland bridge to subside. They also watched champions league matches and any other match that was played during weekdays. The fact that they were the only Liverpool fans that was usually at the bar was what drew them to each other. Thus, they started sitting together during matches to banter with each other and against fans of opposing teams. They became good friends when they got to know they all worked at the same bank, and that they had also lived and schooled at one time or the other in Ibadan, Oyo State.

“Na wa o. it is well. All these ogas sha. Na so so work my own just dey pack gimme. I don try talk to am about converting me to a full staff. But the man just dey post me. He will just be saying, later later, each and every time,” Ayobanji stated and added, “and I need money bad bad.”

Silas laughed, “you no need money pass me. I suppose marry this year, and my wife na from the East. So you can imagine the kain financial load wey dey my head.”

Ayobanji and Emeka laughed.

“O boy, na money you wan spend o,” Emeka exclaimed.

“I get choice? Na person wey my heart choose be that,” Silas stated.

“So how do you plan to raise the money?” Ayobanjo asked.

“In all honesty, I no know. But if I see any runs wey I fit do. I’m all for it,” Silas answered.

“Runs?” asked Emeka and added, “even fraud?”

The other two turned to look at him and then at each other.

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‘Hello Morenike.”

“Hello Sir.”

“Bawo ni”

“Fine sir.”

“Your children nko?”

“They are fine sir.”

“That’s good.”

“Madam nko sir? And my aburos?”

“Won wa dada. O se.”

“Yes sir.”

“Is your husband back?”

“No sir.”

Ok, once he is back, flash me so I can call him.”

“Hope no problem Brother Ola.”

“No problem dear. I don’t want to call him in the office or while he is driving.”

“Oh, ok sir. I will let you know once I hear his car horn.”

“Ok dear, o se gan.”

“Ok sir.”

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“Have you called your brother?”

“No sir.”

What are you waiting for?”

“I don’t want to call him while he is still on the road.”

“Hmm. Ok. But how would you know when he is back home?”

“I will have sent a whatsapp message to him. When he replies, I will be able to ascertain where he is and then I will call him.”

“Ok. Let me know when you call him.”

“OK sir.”

“I’m going to my room.”

“Daddy.”

“Yes?”

“Will she be okay?”

“We can only pray and hope God visit us with his mercy.”

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“That’s crazy,” Silas said.

“Wetin make you think that kain thing?” Ayobanji asked.

“Are you guys not tired of this suffer head lifestyle?” Emeka countered.

“But fraud no be am,” Ayobanji answered, shaking his head, “I be worker for church o.”

“What if we get caught?” Silas asked.

Emeka looked at Ayobanji, “you are the I.T expert, how many of the fraud that happens in the bank ends up with the culprit getting caught?”

“I don’t have the stats. But I know some people get away with it,” he answered.

“Exactly, we can be the people that gets away with it,” Emeka stated.

They were all silent for a minute or two. Each of them looking at each other.

“Abeg, I no do,” Ayobanji stated flatly and got up. “I go see una later.”

“Wait for me,” Silas called after him as he also got up.

To be continued

Signed

King Olulu

Twitter @olulu4ever, Instagram @olulutheking,