COPIED

NIGERIAN MUSLIMS AND ABUSE OF POLYGAMY

By: Abu Mar'yam Hanafi Abdulkadri

Nowadays, the rate at which Muslim men abuse the practice of polygamy (polygyny) is likely unprecedented in history. In Northern Nigeria, polygamy has become more of customary practice than a socio-religious responsibility. Many Muslims in Yorubaland who subscribe to plural marriages are equally abusing this right. And sadly enough, this trend of abuse does not exclude several followers of Sunnah. But what went wrong and where lies the way out?

To start with, Islamic Scholars have laid down a golden principle which states: "It is forbidden for anyone to engage in any activity until he or she knows about its ruling." Thus, before a Muslim performs Salat, Sawm, Umrah, Hajj, etc., he or she must learn the rulings pertaining to these acts of worship. This helps to avoid destructive errors which may render the worship fruitless. Similarly, all mundane affairs including business transactions and social relationships are also regulated by Islamic standards. Any attempt to contravene such standards automatically results in abuse and sins.

In Islam, marriage is a legal contract that is established based on certain requirements and conditions. If a requirement is missing or a condition is violated, the goal of the marital relationship (i.e love, enjoyment, and mercy) may become compromised, thereby leading to more evils than benefits.

Conditions of Polygamy

Basically, the conditions which apply to marrying one wife equally apply to marrying multiple wives, except that additional wife(s) necessitates additional requirements. As they say: "more honor comes with more responsibility." For instance, a monogamous man who struggles to satisfy his single wife sexually is prohibited from marrying more. Likewise, a man who can hardly maintain one wife (in terms of feeding, clothing, and accommodation) is not qualified to add extras due to economic challenges.

Therefore, sexual and economic capabilities are the two minimum requirements for any man who seeks to marry one or more wife(s). In a popular Hadith, the Prophet addressed the youths, saying:

“O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (al-Bukhaari, 5066)

From the Hadith cited above, the scholars of Fiqh (Islamic Jurisprudence) have derived the ruling of marriage to be Mustahaab (highly encouraged Sunnah), particularly when a man is able to support the means. On the other hand, marriage is considered Makrooh (detestable) for anyone who is incapable of supporting the financial means except in certain instances. In addition, marriage becomes compulsory if a man is close to committing Zina while being able to support a marriage.

To emphasize the fact that financial capability cannot be overlooked with respect to marriage, Allah says in Surah An-Nur (24) verse 33; "And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste until Allah enriches them of His Bounty."

A man who doesn't possess the Nisab for Zakat is not entitled to give Zakat, the same way a man who lacks reasonable financial means is certainly not qualified to take a wife or add extras (as the case may be). Today, many people have taken this factor for granted, giving it little or no concern.

Other important requirements include wisdom and piety.

These two criteria assist in maintaining fairness and equity among co-wives. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (RadiyaLlahu anhu) that the Prophet (SallaLlahu alayhi was-Sallam) said: “Whoever has two wives and favors one of them over the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides leaning.” Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (1141).

Based on this Hadith, Ibn Hazm (RahimahuLlahu) said: "Treating co-wives equally is obligatory, most of all - sharing one’s nights between them." (al-Muhalla, 9/1

Polygamy is a crime against humanity, God created one Adam and one Eve, that's the standard God set for us to live in Paradise!

Most religionsists thought that since they've heard of polygamist of ancient times who served God they can live a righteous life as a polygamist. But the truth is if we are to ask ourselves sincere questions many will see the evil in this act.
I once asked my uncle (Imam) questions regarding polygamy and i'll like to share the experience.

Me:- Why is polygamy approved in Islam?
Uncle:- It's better than secretly committing adultery.

Me:- So we can't control ourselves to live with just one woman?
Uncle:- Of course we can if we fear God, but at times one could be wealthy enough to take good care of many women so he should marry more than one at least to take good care of them.

Me:- Are you saying we can't assist the less privileged to become husbands of their own wives and stick to own own?
Uncle:- we can if we have the fear of God at the same time what stops us from marrying them and taking care of them? At that will reduce prostitution in the society.

Me:- So are you saying if each man stick to his own wife prostitution will still thrive?
Uncle:- it will but that's not easy, temptation is high when you have money.

Me:- What about women who are wealthy, can they also enjoy more men?
Uncle:- God forbid! That's a taboo not approved by God.

Me:- What are the criteria for taking more than one wife?
Uncle:- Money, Agility, Wisdom and Good looks. With those four women will fall for you at all times.

Me:-Did Adam have all of these?
Uncle:- As the first man God created, Adam was agile, wise and handsome, but he had no money.

Me:- What is the purpose of money?
Uncle:- To buy anything you want!

Me:- Are you saying like a means of exchange?
Uncle:- Yes but Adam doesn't have any means.

Me:- What was on planet earth that doesn't belong to Adam back then?
Uncle:- Hmmmmmmmm it's like he has everything!

Me:- So as there existed anyone that's richer than Adam?
Uncle:- Wow! That's really thoughtful of you! Adam was the richest man ever!

Me:- So Adam had everything, then do you think it's the same God who gave Adam everything like Wisdom, Agility, Riches, Good looks that later asked Adam's descendants who lacked all these things to marry more than one woman whereas he (God) gave Adam just one?
Uncle:-