.

Damn!!!


I can understand where you are coming from.
I have a friend who behaves almost same as your brother and I think the reason he behaves that way is as a result of how he was brought up. any slight mistake his parents would shout at him and bad mouth him so he started losing confidence on himself.

Talk to your brother in a cool tune, make him feel free to say whatever he wants to say around you from there you'd know what's disturbing him and lastly, if you can afford it help him get a therapist.

manna this his insecurities is just too much

It seems he has a mental disorder, and it's called social anxiety disorder (SAD), yeah "sad" [pun intended]. That guess is based on a personal experience.

Tell him to relax, and not allow the pressures of life get to him. He needs to know that no one is perfect and no one can be. Like the title says, he has a bad mindset. I believe people's decisions and approaches to life are a result of what they think about often, and what people think about stem from what they consume. Therefore, try to know the things he does with his time; what he reads, what he watches and listens to, etc. He should do away with those things if he needs to change.

He's still young, and on the road to self discovery. It's fine that he's able to identify his weaknesses at this stage, so he can tackle it before he fully approaches the stage to face life. Please show him love the best way that you can. If you want to rebuke him for any wrong, do that with that same love.

Ahmed0336:
Damn!!!


I can understand where you are coming from.
I have a friend who behaves almost same as your brother and I think the reason he behaves that way is as a result of how he was brought up. any slight mistake his parents would shout at him and bad mouth him so he started losing confidence on himself.

Talk to your brother in a cool tune, make him feel free to say whatever he wants to say around you from there you'd know what's disturbing him and lastly, if you can afford it help him get a therapist.

Therapist is out of the option, my parents are strict believers, if there is just something to boost him up to life.

Humanoid01:
It seems he has a mental disorder, and it's called social anxiety disorder (SAD), yeah "sad" [pun intended].

How can he cure it. There are days he feels lively, like when he is with me, he even talks to strangers. But when he is walking alone, i doubt if he likes greeting people self.

marsman:

Therapist is out of the option, my parents are strict believers, if there is just something to boost him up to life.

when did finding solutions to one's problem legitimately and okay before the eyes of God turns one to an unbeliever

Ahmed0336:


when did finding solutions to one's problem legitimately and okay before the eyes of God turns one to an unbeliever

The profession is not popular around my area, my mom works in the hospital and i dont think, she believes in depression. they don't just think i need to speak to someone before solving my inner problems. They believe if anyone have any bad inner thought,you pray against it.

that dude needs serious psychological help...sadly, he probably would never get it (due to parents failed beliefs) and instead will be roaming the streets aimlessly until he snaps one day...

MrBrownJay1:
that dude needs serious psychological help...sadly, he probably would never get it (due to parents failed beliefs) and instead will be roaming the streets aimlessly until he snaps one day...

Don't say that, he won't snap. I will never give up on him. It is just a phase.

marsman:
Don't say that, he won't snap. I will never give up on him. It is just a phase.

Sadly, you fail to understand that this person needs PROFESSIONAL HELP that you can't provide. It's just a matter of time before this ticking bomb goes off.

MrBrownJay1:


Sadly, you fail to understand that this person needs PROFESSIONAL HELP that you can't provide. It's just a matter of time before this ticking bomb goes off.

It is not an emotion that occurs all the time. I know, He is going to overcome, there is light in front of his tunnel, i know he is going conquer the fear, and i am going to help him, he has more achievement than , i ever dreamt of having while i was his age. He will survive.
But if you have useful information, to help hasten the process, excluding seeing a therapist, do give. Thank you

marsman:

It is not an emotion that occurs all the time. I know, He is going to overcome, there is light in front of his tunnel, i know he is going conquer the fear, and i am going to help him, he has more achievement than , i ever dreamt of having while i was his age. He will survive.
But if you have useful information, to help hasten the process, excluding seeing a therapist, do give. Thank you

If you indeed love that person then you should do anything and everything in your power to make sure he gets the help that he needs. saying that you would do everything BUT letting him see a professional (so that they can finally help him), makes no damn sense!

For the wellbeing of your brother, you and your parents should get rid of all your misplaced religious misconception.... As if it even make sense that you could talk to some pastor but not an educated therapist.

Reminds me back a few years ago, the many fools who died in the UK because they listened to some deluded pastor who told them to stop taking their HIV medication (because he was gonna pray and save them or some other BS), and they subsequently died.

MrBrownJay1:


If you indeed love that person then you should do anything and everything in your power to make sure he gets the help that he needs. saying that you would do everything BUT letting him see a professional (so that they can finally help him), makes no damn sense!

For the wellbeing of your brother, you and your parents should get rid of all your misplaced religious misconception.... As if it even make sense that you could talk to some pastor but not an educated therapist.

Reminds me back a few years ago, the many fools who died in the UK because they listened to some deluded pastor who told them to stop taking their HIV medication (because he was gonna pray and save them or some other BS), and they subsequently died.

Firstly My religion is not misguided, if you are from a sound African home, you will know that Africans in general don't take things like this seriously, as long as you don't have any viable damages on your body, they believe all is well. I will talk to my parents about it, they will talk to him and make him feel better. I wouldn't give up still, he has a great promising future ahead of him.

marsman:

Firstly My religion is not misguided, if you are from a sound African home, you will know that Africans in general don't take things like this seriously, as long as you don't have any viable damages on your body, they believe all is well. I will talk to my parents about it, they will talk to him and make him feel better. I wouldn't give up still, he has a great promising future ahead of him.

If your religion dictates that you shouldn't talk to a professional (but these pastors) then YES your religion is misguiding you. You should be able to use anything in your power to save someone's life (so long as it ain't illegal/criminal) regardless of what some religion tells you. Your love for your brother and common sense would ignore whatever rubbish this religion tells you, unless of course, your devotion to that religion is greater than the love you have for your brotha... Thus continue whatever you are dong (aka nothing)

Take your brother to see a psychologist before his condition gets out of hand.

MrBrownJay1:


If your religion dictates that you shouldn't talk to a professional (but these pastors) then YES your religion is misguiding you. You should be able to use anything in your power to save someone's life (so long as it ain't illegal/criminal) regardless of what some religion tells you. Your love for your brother and common sense would ignore whatever rubbish this religion tells you, unless of course, your devotion to that religion is greater than the love you have for your brotha... Thus continue whatever you are dong (aka nothing)

Seems like you ve gotten it wrong, i am a christian and we were even told in the bible to seek counsel, when if we have trouble in our mind, i just don't want to tell our parent because i feel like they won't understand what is wrong with him.
Therapist or whatever is not in real Africa settings.

marsman:

Seems like you ve gotten it wrong, i am a christian and we were even told in the bible to seek counsel, when if we have trouble in our mind, i just don't want to tell our parent because i feel like they won't understand what is wrong with him.
Therapist or whatever is not in real Africa settings.

Your brother is autistic in nature. Its a natural disorder that can't be cured. He'll only learn how to live by it.
From my own experience lemme tell you what your brother does. He hardly talk , GE get angry at times, he appears as if he is shy. Only talk long to close People.

I use to have similar problem in the past and know one understood me. I wanted to attempt suicide , thank God mama bolugi rebuked me then
I did my own research later to understand my self. I don't know where to classify myself among the other disorders. But me being a Lefty added more sorrow to my problem. Whenever people tell me to use my right hand or scolled me about which hand to use.
I look up to God and ask why has he made me lefty when he knew it was bad. People do more harm to children from childhood , they don't know all this things pile up on the mind of some children.
I did some search and asked questions. My mum said I could not work till I wass going to 2years of age. While my elder sister walked at 7 month.
It took me time before I started talking and later they knew I was going to be lefty. I started climbing gate before I stated walking. Till date I climb trees a lot. And also love trees.
My mum said whenever I'm lost in the house everyone would call my name and I won't hear anything until theyll find me somewhere inside the house drawing.
My mom would be like go outside and play with others. At times my body feels irritated and go hide under baby court and sleep under there despite the dust and cobwebs. My mum will always ask when she sees me, tola what happen? I'll say nothing!
Then she'll draw me closer. My dad was not encouraging with my kind of nature always scolding me to act like a man and be smart. He only use to visit us once in a while.
I always remain quiet with bitterness deep down inside me. When I grew up I revolted against him and told every family my grieviance.

Today I don't have serious attachment to anybody or riligion. Anytime I see religion talk evil about left or the way Muslims say Satan uses left. I know everything is delusional and scam.
Your brother need proper training not unnecessary scolding. Any unnecessary scolding will affect his true love for family. He might not show it but thats how he'll be living his life..
The disorder seems to disappear as child grows up. Thats why its not reflecting in me anymore

tollyboy5:

Your brother is autistic in nature. Its a natural disorder that can't be cured. He'll only learn how to live by it.
From my own experience lemme tell you what your brother does. He hardly talk , GE get angry at times, he appears as if he is shy. Only talk long to close People.

I use to have similar problem in the past and know one understood me. I wanted to attempt suicide , thank God mama bolugi rebuked me then
I did my own research later to understand my self. I don't know where to classify myself among the other disorders. But me being a Lefty added more sorrow to my problem. Whenever people tell me to use my right hand or scolled me about which hand to use.
I look up to God and ask why has he made me lefty when he knew it was bad. People do more harm to children from childhood , they don't know all this things pile up on the mind of some children.
I did some search and asked questions. My mum said I could not work till I wass going to 2years of age. While my elder sister walked at 7 month.
It took me time before I started talking and later they knew I was going to be lefty. I started climbing gate before I stated walking. Till date I climb trees a lot. And also love trees.
My mum said whenever I'm lost in the house everyone would call my name and I won't hear anything until theyll find me somewhere inside the house drawing.
My mom would be like go outside and play with others. At times my body feels irritated and go hide under baby court and sleep under there despite the dust and cobwebs. My mum will always ask when she sees me, tola what happen? I'll say nothing!
Then she'll draw me closer. My dad was not encouraging with my kind of nature always scolding me to act like a man and be smart. He only use to visit us once in a while.
I always remain quiet with bitterness deep down inside me. When I grew up I revolted against him and told every family my grieviance.

Today I don't have serious attachment to anybody or riligion. Anytime I see religion talk evil about left or the way Muslims say Satan uses left. I know everything is delusional and scam.
Your brother need proper training not unnecessary scolding. Any unnecessary scolding will affect his true love for family. He might not show it but thats how he'll be living his life..
The disorder seems to disappear as child grows up. Thats why its not reflecting in me anymore

His own is not as hard as this, he is a teenager who is very shy. But he is now getting better since we have started hanging out together.

marsman:


His own is not has add as this, he is teenager who is very shy. But he is now getting better since we have started hanging out together.

Yes! I know it might not be hard like mine
My sister use to say I'll be very wicked when I grow up. From my child hood I do say I see no relevance in marriage. People say I'm still young
Now my mid 20's I can't fall inlove.
Take your bro out the older he becomes he take care of himself.
Like I'm doing now. I promised myself to always act nice so peoples prediction about me been sadist won't come true goodluck