I really don't know how to start with this write up as I'm completely confused about life and may drift into depression( i pray it never to get to this stage). Pls ignore all the errors in this piece as i ain't typing with the right frame of mind.

To start with, i lost my parents when i was 8. So i grew up partly with my grandmum and my brothers. We were just 3 boys and I'm the last born in the family. Well, life wasn't that cool as at then but atleast i have my eldest brother as my benefactor. However, shortly after my high school in 2010, i lost my two older brothers and my grandmum within a space of 3 months. At this point, i was devastated and worried. I just didn't know who to trust cus what was happening seems weird to me. Consequently , i decided to leave the south for the north just to continue my university education and cut off from any family link, be it uncle or aunty.

Life wasn't easy though, but i have always trusted in God. I got admission into one of the schools in north central and shortly after, i got a scholarship with shell. I must say with all amount of humility that i was academically bright. Coupled with the fact that I'm equally very good looking, i was able to make cool friends especially the female ones who stood by me.
One scenario that still give me goosebumps till date is how i manage to stay in my off-campus apartment during holiday periods especially when all my coursemates and friends travelled home for holiday. It was usually crazy as I'd be left all alone in the compound. This is the period i miss my family the most.

To cut the long story short, i graduated early 2019 and i just rounded up with national service like two months ago.The unexpected in my life happened shortly after this.. Reason why i have to put up this write up cus i need all the advices and inspirations i can get at this stage.

Firstly, after my nysc, my landlady who has been so nice all these whiles threatened to give me Quit notice in the midst of the lockdown. Although my rent was due and i was owing her some balances from previous rent. I actually understand her anger but doing that in the midst of the pandemic was surprising. I mean the world was in chaos.Also, while i was doing my nysc, i took time out to learn forex trading. I knew job might not come immediately considering the situation of things in the country. And there is this friend of mine based in Norway who was ready to lend me money to fund my forex account as soon as I'm done with national service. Because of this landlady issue, i had to message him to remind him about the money.Mind u, this is one person who is always checking up on me and was even begging me to take the forex business seriously cus he was ready to invest any amount just so i can stand on my own cus jobs might be hard to come by now. Surprisingly, he wasn't responding to my calls or messages. I got worried at this point. Finally, i didn't know the third and the biggest one was coming. My girlfriend of almost 3 years who have been there for me all these years dropped a bombshell, after we had one of those couples quarells, that she wasn't interested in the relationship again. I mean this is someone who cares so much abt me and is always crying and begging me to come marry her. Cus of her, had to do away with other girls while in school just to focus on her cus my good looks was making her insecure in some ways. Although as a playboy then, i have hurt her in some ways. But i was surprised she kept bringing issues that happened during the first one-half years of our relationship as excuse why she wanna back out. When i noticed shit was getting to me, i had to begged her and even when she try to forgive and continue, another issue will pop up again. There and then, i knew this was a lost cause. I mean i have lived and stayed strong all these years without my parents and brothers, why was all these happening to me within a space of one month( august to be precised) when i thought i have conquered and was ready for a better phase of my life.

For the first time in my life, i understand why some persons commit suicide and i know how dangerous depression is as i was gradually drifting into one. At night, i will wish i had a family that i can run to just to cool off my brain. I missed my family so much right now. I'm just confused about life right now. I don't even know how to start or if i should continue pushing cus nothing make sense to me again. Coupled with fact that i ain't working, at times i could go a day without eating. And this my girl was my backbone before now. She is everything a man will look for in a woman, in my own case, she was the sister i never had, the mum and the family i have lost. Even with my bad attitude, she was always there. But now, i don't understand what is going on. I'm writing this because i need all the encouragement and inspiration i can get right now. Staying all alone in my room, not knowing when I'm gonna get kicked out of this house cus of rent and then i keep thinking if it happens, where and who do i run to?. Please, i need your advices. I can't go back to the south as the trauma of loosing my family there wouldn't help. I'm just confused! Totally confused about life at this stage. I pray i don't drift into depression.

lalasticlala
Suen
N/B: pls I'll appreciate if the mods can push this to front page for me. God bless u

Hmmm

.

I'm sorry about your situation. Seems like you've been through worse and this is just a bump. You will survive this and come out even stronger.

Currently your biggest problem is money to pay bills. Bro don't wait for a hero to save you. Go out and hustle, manual labour and all. Do it all.

Dude, I know you have immediate needs and bills to pay now and that you might not be spiritual but have you considered that the pattern of sudden deaths and ill luck in your family and bloodline may have a spiritual root? Consider going for spiritual deliverance if you are a Christian and afterwards get close to God.

I know nairalanders are going to come for me but I have to tell you my truth no matter how old school or cliche it sounds.

Whatever it is you are going through or is going through you, please stay strong.

As a Shell scholar, I want to presume you graduated with a good grade. Try get a job to get your mind off your worries.

You might want to share your profile maybe someone could advice you based on that.

See this as a test,one of many lessons in life, even though it seems overwhelming, it sure will pass.

Just keep ur head afloat. Sometimes it's gets very tough once you are at the end of the tunnel ,so don't loose hope.

And remember that the only person u can totally rely upon is God.

Broo..... I can't say I totally understand what you're passing through right now but I feel your pain. I'll advise you take the advice of the people above telling you to look for odd jobs no matter how menial just to put food on the table.
For this night, try to get a comedy series to download if you have the data. It might seem like it wouldn't help or you might not be motivated to do so but just give it a try and it'll probably lighten your mood

Bryce123:
I really don't know how to start with this write up as I'm completely confused about life and may drift into depression( i pray it never to get to this stage). Pls ignore all the errors in this piece as i ain't typing with the right frame of mind.

To start with, i lost my parents when i was 8. So i grew up partly with my grandmum and my brothers. We were just 3 boys and I'm the last born in the family. Well, life wasn't that cool as at then but atleast i have my eldest brother as my benefactor. However, shortly after my high school in 2010, i lost my two older brothers and my grandmum within a space of 3 months. At this point, i was devastated and worried. I just didn't know who to trust cus what was happening seems weird to me. Consequently , i decided to leave the south to the north just to continue my university education and cut off from any family link, be it uncle or aunty.

Life wasn't easy though, but i have always trusted in God. I got admission into one of the schools in north central and shortly after, i got a scholarship with shell. I must say with all amount of humility that i was academically bright. Coupled with the fact that I'm equally very good looking, i was able to make cool friends especially the female ones who stood by me.
One scenario that still give me goosebumps till date is how i manage to stay in my off-campus apartment during holiday periods especially when all my coursemates and friends travelled home for holiday. It was usually crazy as I'd be left all alone in the compound. This is the period i miss my family the most.

To cut the long story short, i graduated early 2019 and i just rounded up with national service like two months ago.The unexpected in my life happened shortly after this.. Reason why i have to put up this write up cus i need all the advices and inspirations i can get at this stage.

Firstly, after my nysc, my landlady who has been so nice all these whiles threatened to give me Quit notice in the midst of the lockdown. Although my rent was due and i was owing her some balances from previous rent. I actually understand her anger but doing that in the midst of the pandemic was surprising. I mean the world was in chaos.Also, while i was doing my nysc, i took time out to learn forex trading. I knew job might not come immediately considering the situation of things in the country. And there is this friend of mine based in Norway who was ready to lend me money to fund my forex account as soon as I'm done with national service. Because of this landlady issue, i had to message him to remind him about the money.Mind u, this is one person who is always checking up on me and was even begging me to take the forex business seriously cus he was ready to invest any amount just so i can stand on my own cus jobs might be hard to come by now. Surprisingly, he wasn't responding to my calls or messages. I got worried at this point. Finally, i didn't know the third and the biggest one was coming. My girlfriend of almost 3 years who have been there for me all these years dropped a bombshell, after we had one of those couples quarells, that she wasn't interested in the relationship again. I mean this is someone who cares so much abt me and is always crying and begging me to come marry her. Cus of her, had to do away with other girls while in school just to focus on her cus my good looks was making her insecure in some ways. Although as a playboy then, i have hurt her in some ways. But i was surprised she kept bringing issues that happened during the first one-half years of our relationship as excuse why she wanna back out. When i noticed shit was getting to me, i had to begged her and even when she try to forgive and continue, another issue will pop up again. There and then, i knew this was a lost cause. I mean i have lived and stayed strong all these years without my parents and brothers, why was all these happening to me within a space of one month( august to be precised) when i thought i have conquered and was ready for a better phase of my life.

For the first time in my life, i understand why some persons commit suicide and i know how dangerous depression is as i was gradually drifting into one. At night, i will wish i had a family that i can run to just to cool off my brain. I missed my family so much right now. I'm just confused about life right now. I don't even know how to start or if i should continue pushing cus nothing make sense to me again. Coupled with fact that i ain't working, at times i could go a day without eating. And this my girl was my backbone before now. She is everything a man will look for in a woman, in my own case, she was the sister i never had, the mum and the family i have lost. Even with my bad attitude, she was always there. But now, i don't understand what is going on. I'm writing this because i need all the encouragement and inspiration i can get right now. Staying all alone in my room, not knowing when I'm gonna get kicked out of this house cus of rent and then i keep thinking if it happens, where and who do i run to?. Please, i need your advices. I can't go back to the south as the trauma of loosing my family there wouldn't help. I'm just confused! Totally confused about life at this stage. I pray i don't drift into depression.

it seems your family has a strong spiritual problem it’s going get worse if you don’t pray about it .i pray it don’t frustrate or kill you , you need to get closer to God he will show you the way

Ningen:
I'm sorry about your situation. Seems like you've been through worse and this is just a bump. You will survive this and come out even stronger.

Currently your biggest problem is money to pay bills. Bro don't wait for a hero to save you. Go out and hustle, manual labour and all. Do it all.

Thanks for this advice. ofcourse, i know . but trust me i have lost zeal for anything. nothing make sense to me again

DeeMain:
Dude, I know you have immediate needs and bills to pay now and that you might not be spiritual but have you considered that the pattern of sudden deaths and ill luck in your family and bloodline may have a spiritual root? Consider going for spiritual deliverance if you are a Christian and afterwards get close to God.

I know nairalanders are going to come for me but I have to tell you my truth no matter how old school or cliche it sounds.

thanks alot...can u recommend a good church for this?

Fvcknames:
Broo..... I can't say I totally understand what you're passing through right now but I feel your pain. I'll advise you take the advice of the people above telling you to look for odd jobs no matter how menial just to put food on the table.
For this night, try to get a comedy series to download if you have the data. It might seem like it wouldn't help or you might not be motivated to do so but just give it a try and it'll probably lighten your mood

i try to do this most times but the interest ain't there

Whatever you genuinely like doing, do it, do it and keep doing it.

Mine is dancing

DeeMain:
Dude, I know you have immediate needs and bills to pay now and that you might not be spiritual but have you considered that the pattern of sudden deaths and ill luck in your family and bloodline may have a spiritual root? Consider going for spiritual deliverance if you are a Christian and afterwards get close to God.

I know nairalanders are going to come for me but I have to tell you my truth no matter how old school or cliche it sounds.

I was about to say this too. ..
Op if what you stated is true, then you need to go for prayers to settle your foundation just in case something is not right..

Running away won't help you completely bro.
If it is spiritual matters, you have to tackle it headlong.

Nothing in life is easy. Just get out and do something to bring in the needed small monies to pay bills.
Pray, things will change. Years later, you will look back to this period and smile....only if you persevere

My brother forget woman. Anybody wey take woman do pillow, na headache go kill am. That is the source of your confusion.....you lost your girlfriend. O boy brace up and take the challenge.

Go to a mountain of fire ministry near you. Mind you, I am not a member but these guys seems more serious

At this juncture....calm yourself down and work on your future cos it seems na ur girlfriend rejection dey pain you pass....forget woman matter the now.

N/B : Try as much as possible to be at peace with God

Damn it nigga!
God will see you through. Get closer to him. & see wat kind of job u can lay ur hands on. No matter how small.
In regard to the forex trading, try & give it ur all. But don't put much money, if u ain't a professiona. I trade with small lot sizes.
I invested my huge amount of money with professional traders springing up. Getting returns on monthly basis. Those guys trade with some kind of softwares that's helps them maximize profit.
But try more & learn it. Its a good skill I must tell u.
It's well my brother! If North isn't working for u, come back to South or East.
Shalom

Emmy417:
Damn it nigga!
God will see you through. Get closer to him. & see wat kind of job u can lay ur hands on. No matter how small.
In regard to the forex trading, try & give it ur all. But don't put much money, if u ain't a professiona. I trade with small lot sizes.
I invested my huge amount of money with professional traders springing up. Getting returns on monthly basis. Those guys trade with some kind of softwares that's helps them maximize profit.
But try more & learn it. Its a good skill I must tell u.
It's well my brother! If North isn't working for u, come back to South or East.
Shalom

Thanks a trillion. for some weeks now i haven't really put effort into the forex stuff cus of the happenings around me. sure,,lately, i have been thinking of moving to the east. The south is a no no for now for some reasons. blessings!

[quote author=PureGoldh post=94152446]At this juncture....calm yourself down and work on your future cos it seems na ur girlfriend rejection dey pain you pass....forget woman matter the now.

N/B : Try as much as possible to be at peace with God[/quote

i don't think so bro. my girl stuff is even the least cus considering the whole issue, i think i causes it . she has endured it for long. it's just unfortunate it happened at this period. i guess i transferred the latest happenings in my life to her hereby making the whole think toxic for her mental health as we were always quarelling on phone. at a point, i equally got fed up. Basic things i need all these problems to go away and my landlady issue is really getting on me. Also, i have never missed my family this much. thanks all the same for ur contributions i truly appreciate bro

Bryce123:


i try to do this most times but the interest ain't there

Bro I get you. That's why I said you might lack motivation. You'll just need the push to start it. You can also try volunteering for different activities if you have the time as it'll be an avenue to meet more people. One thing is for sure, you'll need people around you. From there you can get a few friends.
No man is an island.
The way depression works most times you simply wouldn't be interested in all of these and I wish you had someone with you to push you. But this is the way life is, you can only pity yourself for so long. Others are living their lives around you. Believe me if you work for it you'll have a decent future. You're good looking and smart, with just this you're ahead of many people in life. Try to forget about your friend that promised you money. Imagine what you'll have done if he never made the suggestion in the first place. Like I said earlier just try to do the things I mentioned above or any other hobbies you like to lift your mood while trying to get paid.
One day you'll look back at your life and wonder how you could be so tough.

Bryce123:

thanks alot...can u recommend a good church for this?

mountain of fire is a really good church from experience this kind of problem can only be solve thru prayers

Bryce123:


Thanks for this advice. ofcourse, i know . but trust me i have lost zeal for anything. nothing make sense to me again

This is the place to be
It's either you die or you live

To die is easy

To live is harder but worthwhile

To live
1. Find reason or reasons to live
These may be selfish, altruistic or even mean reasons Find them nonetheless

The truth is there's no height you want to reach in life that you can't attain...

Decide the Kind of life you want and Start Making moves No force in the universe will Stop you or Say No
Best wishes Bro
NB. You can make a new family or friends that are closer than blood and you can build a new one via marriage children and adoption etc

The Choice is yours and The Way is Open

Bryce123:

thanks alot...can u recommend a good church for this?

Where are you based?

DeeMain:


Where are you based?

sorry for the late reply. for some reasons i can see this topic once i log in. dunno if the mods hide it or something. i stay in Abuja bro

Only God can console you. You need God more than ever. Discuss your situation with your pastor if you are a Christian. Someone in the church might be able to assist you.

Until you forget about your good looks and go closer to God , you will never understand what's happening both past and present

Bryce123:


sorry for the late reply. for some reasons i can see this topic once i log in. dunno if the mods hide it or something. i stay in Abuja bro

Okay, first I will suggest you listen to Apostle Joshua Selman's Mystery of Deliverance messages(Parts1- 4) to have a general idea of what you might be dealing with and how to approach it. You can download them for free on the internet.

Afterwards you can choose the minister or ministry for the deliverance.

God's grace.