Hi all,
I need ur candid opinion on this issue that has been bugin my mind for dayz now, I and my boyfriend have finally decided to get married but the issue now is the date, I want it in june n he wants it by november, I want it in June cos , I just lost my mum (jan 17), my Dad who luvs my mum so much n couldnt take it suffered a partial stroke, the only sister i have in this world is coming to naija by june. My fiance on the other hand wants it in november because he cant raise money for an elaborate wedding in June which i dont want, cos the mood is not right.

Pls am i being selfish for wanting a small wedding in june with my sister around or an elaborate i.e a big wedding in november which i might not really appreciate? pls ur candid opinion

I dont know what tribe you belong to and the formalities involved in the wedding. I believe the husband and wife"s family are the ones that agree on the wedding date, and the choice comes from the wife's family. In your culture is it the man's responsibility to pay for the wedding? Is he carrying all that responsibility? Then i advice you go with when he is more comfortable. And i am sure November will be a good time for your family. June may be too soon and emotional. especially when they are still grieving and your dad is not at his best health wise. Between June and November, you may have the chance to spend quality time with him and help heal his broken heart. You will also have to consult with the elder's in your family, and make sure your sister is able to make it to see you in November.

If you guys cannot peacefully resolve this non-issue,i suggest u guys PLEASE stall the marriage first.
You guys are both selfish,immature and inconsiderate to urselves.
You want a quiet wedding,he wants an elaborate one,its still "I",when wud u guys start thinking "WE" ?
Who wud sacrifice now?
Have u guys thought of having the wedding on a neutral month eg August?
Btwn,this might be God speaking. . .u guys still have a long way to go.

is this about your sister . . or you and your man?

cant your sister come in november?

It really shouldnt be about family but the two of you.

If you guys cannot handle this simple test, how are you gonna cope when the real stuff comes along??

get together and sort it out.

Again, it is about you two, not a siter or anyone else.

uwani:

Hi all,
I need your candid opinion on this issue that has been bugin my mind for dayz now, I and my boyfriend have finally decided to get married but the issue now is the date, I want it in june n he wants it by november, I want it in June cos , I just lost my mum (jan 17), my Dad who luvs my mum so much n couldnt take it suffered a partial stroke, the only sister i have in this world is coming to naija by june. My fiance on the other hand wants it in november because he cant raise money for an elaborate wedding in June which i dont want, cos the mood is not right.

Pls am i being selfish for wanting a small wedding in june with my sister around or an elaborate i.e a big wedding in november which i might not really appreciate? pls your candid opinion

My mum, my dad, my sister. My this, my that. Me, Myself and I. Such Selfishness.
OP please wake up. Marriage is not about you and your father's family. Are you getting married your only sister in June?


In-laws are the root cause of many failed or failing marriages.

Feb 31 should be ideal

Thanks all, actually i never did see it that way at all, we went tru all the post with my fiance n i had to apologise to him immediately n we've settled for september. Tanks.

I don't know why men always think they have to decide when and how the wedding will be!

I wonder too!! that's how they start the 'I' 'Me' thingy even before the marriage then hell fire after the marriage which is still 'me me me'

Ujujoan:

I don't know why men always think they have to decide when and how the wedding will be!

Ujujoan:

I don't know why men always think they have to decide when and how the wedding will be!

Only if you can get married by yourself. Sew your gown choose your own date and go to church or registry alone.

Hauwaaaa

Ujujoan:

I don't know why men always think they have to decide when and how the wedding will be!

I'm not surprised by this comment . . based on who posted it

Go marry urself.

wetin dk?

armyofone:

wetin dk?

You are wetting me? Wetting me with what?

Abegg oooooo.

Hauwa darling how have you been, WHen are you going to Iraq

dayokanu:

Only if you can get married by yourself. Sew your gown choose your own date and go to church or registry alone.

Hauwaaaa

Mccccccccccccchew!  

^^ If a man cant decide when his own wedding that would require his presence to be then why should he attend?

You can marry by yourself na or even take the guys picture to the altar and marry the picture.

kokoye:

I'm not surprised by this comment . . based on who posted it

Go marry urself.

And what exactly is that supposed to mean eh?

Shebi you people finally convinced the girl to concede to the hubby thereby encouraging him to be dictatorial and difficult.

In this day and age when people should be trimming down on expenses, someone is looking for an elaborate wedding! What's that one eh    

Men ALWAYS want to dictate when and how they want to get married, as if they are the only ones involved!  

dayokanu:

^^ If a man cant decide when his own wedding that would require his presence to be then why should he attend?

You can marry by yourself na or even take the guys picture to the altar and marry the picture.

Did you hear yourself? 'Decide'?

And while he's 'deciding' will he walk down the aisle with my picture

If a woman cannot have a say in her own wedding, I wonder what will become of her _{note to myself}

Its a date for the man to adopt another person into his family.

Shouldnt the man decide when its convenient to give someone else his last name or you just want to gate crash?

If his house is not ready for another person where would the bride stay?

Bottom line the man holds all the keys and should decide

@ DK, pls don't remind me  . am glad being around to finish with ile iwe.

anyway, stop being a playa  

uju, you know Kokoye likes sufferhead women and believes that the it is a man's world  

^Playa?

No I am waiting for you.

I know its been long you got some. So come home to papi and let me tap that bootay

twisted
shakes head

I would prefer you to shake booty and give head.

Ujujoan,

did you see my first post on this thread . .where did I encourage him to be dictatorial and difficult?


. .and who the heck is armyofone . . who died and made you king??

dayokanu:

Its a date for the man to adopt another person into his family.

Shouldnt the man decide when its convenient to give someone else his last name or you just want to gate crash?

If his house is not ready for another person where would the bride stay?

Bottom line the man holds all the keys and should decide

*roooooooolz eyez*

Some people for don commit suicide it to say dem be woman!  

Ujujoan:

*roooooooolz eyez*

Some people for don commit suicide it to say dem be woman!  

Instead make you dey roooooollllz waist you dey roll eyez.

God no go make you get Apollo for that eyez wey you dey roll anyhow

kokoye:

Ujujoan,

did you see my first post on this thread . .where did I encourage him to be dictatorial and difficult?


. .and who the heck is armyofone . . who died and made you king??

Your stand on this issue is clear . . . the lady has to ignore the wishes of her family and follow the man in to to!  Like say no be family she from dey come! And they are yet to get married . . . what will happen if they marry eh?

koko, you ofc. i knew you long long time ago so carry pass.
Uju, it is even hard to say anything here OP don already gave up that was really fast
dk, stay well o

SemperFI

Ujujoan:

Your stand on this issue is clear . . . the lady has to ignore the wishes of her family and follow the man in to to! Like say no be family she from dey come! And they are yet to get married . . . what will happen if they marry eh?

If the only reason she wants the wedding to be in june is because of her sister coming home, then sorry.

I believe the fiancee has more weight than the sister in the relationship . . what do you think?

^^ That was not her only reason . . . She also doesn't want a lavish ceremony because she lost her mum this year. 

That to me is quite reasonable. 

The only reason why the fiancee wants to wait till September is so that he can afford a huge ceremony. Something she doesn't want. 

And for someone who just lost her mum, wanting her only sister around on her wedding day is not selfish. I'm surprised her hubby is objecting. See the way my sister was crying on her wedding day eh . . . I wonder who would have consoled her if we weren't there!

But yea like you guys said . . . it's all about him so let him decide! 

armyofone:

koko, you ofc. i knew you long long time ago so carry pass.
Uju, it is even hard to say anything here OP don already gave up that was really fast
dk, stay well o

SemperFI

Poor girl . . .

Unfortunately that's the fate of us women!

^^^ no need for a rebuttal then

No need oh . . some women are resigned to their fate.

However I'm humbly inviting you yo my wedding . . I've decided to marry myself!