*If something is expensive
Americans:Wow its expensive, I cant afford it
Nigerians:I'll come back first thing tomorrow morning
*Timaya, from plantain seller to millionaire. Efe, from tomato seller to millionaire. Olajumoke, from bread seller to millionaire..God pls what should I sell?
*My uncle was watching tv with one eye. I asked why he said he's saving electricity..Still looking for where to faint
*No matter the amount of bombs & misles fired in the market. Igbo man must lock his shop before running
*A little boy fell from a mango tree and said 'thank God say I no die ooo. If to say I die, my papa for kill me'
*One yoruba guy was passing my street with earpiece shouting 'olasami'. I ran towards him and remove the earpiece to discover it was 'all eyes on me'
*You watch korean movies and see the lady slaps her man out of anger and he calms her down with a kiss. You now want to try it with Nigerian guys..Am coming, lemme go and price your wheelchair

Teacher:Peter mention 10 animals
Me:5 tigers, 3 gorillas and 2 elephants (she's now excorting me outside..maybe she want to give me award)
*You'll buy mosquito coil to kill mosquitoes & they'll smoke it like shisha. Then come to your ear & sing 'wetin you gain ooo, wetin you gain ooo, my brother wetin you gain ooo. Thanks for the free cigarettes
*If Uganda bus conductor armpit mistakenly pass your nose. You'll lose your memory
*If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would have been in heaven because they would eaten the snake and ignored the apple
*One of my Bayelsa neighbours was watching ninja assasin in my house till he said 'I love this episode of ninja fasline'...Chineke
*I just finished fighting with the man than sells suya. He's now sharping knife, maybe he want to cut small for me
*My uncle is always like'am talking and you are quiet'
Me:But uncle...
Uncle:Quiet you don't talk when am talking...This life is a setup
*In igbo land, we don't greet good morning. We say 'money ooo'..Its all about the money

interesting, i laughed alot, clever jokes

kudos op