Just got back from a Restaurant,Went for a little dinner(birthday) party of one of my colleagues. A few of my colleagues were there as well and I noticed something. . . .  One particular colleague of mine brought her 19 yr old daughter to the dinner party and whilst some people were ordering heaps of food this young 19 year old was going for the cheap stuffs like "salads and co" anyways she was sitting on my left hand side and I remember teasing her and was like asking her if she was on diet.


FAST FORWARD. Anyways after the whole thingy we all went downstairs to pay,this little girl's mother paid for dinner but I was shocked when I noticed that her mother paid for herself , so the gurl had to pay for hers This gurl works yea yea she does a little cleaning job but I just could not understand why the mum had to allow her pay for herself. When she asked how much she was owing the lady doing the calculations and stuffs told her she owed 38dollars, this little girl's response was like . . . . . "Thank goodness I did not plan to exceed 40 dollars because I do not have enough money to keep me going until the next pay day" and I was like shocked .I cannot imagine my 19 year old daughter paying for her own dinner especially when I brought her along.

The phillipinos, I greatly admire. I have a phillipino colleague at work whose daughter is studying medicine.This woman pays for her daughters fees, books, accomodation e.t.c all she wants is for her daughter to go to school without being distracted because she's got to work to pay for her bills. I know alot of 18-22 yr old little gurls doing the cleaning job at my workplace and believe me these people pay for everything. . .school fees, accomodation e.t.c , I actually know a 21 yr old aussie who pays her parents money for rent because she lives at home with them.

The worst part of it is the fact that you get invited for dinner and the Inviter [/i]expects the [i]invitee to pay for their own meal. If I wanna invite you for dinner I will foot the bills atleast that was how I was brought up. I remembered the first time I went out to dinner with a friend of mine when I just got to Europe JJC from naija, I was almost embarrassed because I had to pay for my meal, if to say I no just carry money for safety reasons ,I would have ended up washing plates to pay for it

My parents paid for my schooling and everything , i did not have to work my azz off to pay for bills. Why are these people doing this. . . . ? I just don't understand

Has anyone experienced/noticed this before.

the truth is

you dont the arrangement they had with mother

I don't care to know what kinda agreement they had with their mum, I just think parents should be able to fend for the kids they brought into this world.

The example you quoted is a bit extreme, however it is just a different mindset. In the west, kids tend to take care of themselves and their expenses quite early (between 16 and 20 yrs old) but at the same time, they won't need to take care of their parents' expenses when they are old. I lived in Asia where parents are used to pay everything for their kids until they get married : buying car, appartment and so on, even if the "kids" are 28 and with a good job. But that same parents will move in with their children and let them bear all their expenses as soon as they retire,

I was brought up in the west, and though my mom paid for part of our studies (rent and school fees, as much as she could) I also participated and worked to cover all my personnal expenses (clothes, books, transportation etc.). I think it was just normal, knowing I had other siblings who will need to study afterwards, so my parents can't pay everything for all of us.

Another thing is that the economy in the west is sometimes terrible to the point that a young graduate can't get a job or rent an appartment with a junior level salary,  Hence western young adults tend to stay at their parents' home later and therefore are asked to contribute to the family expenses.

I hope to be able to foot my children's main bills til they are done studying and secure a decent job but if I'm not, I don't see what's the problem with them working to afford university. The same way I don't plan on paying for their personnal expenses (clothes, outings, ) as soon as they reach 16/18. I think it makes them more responsible,

I have vowed never to let my kids work until they finish school. While studying if they want to. I mean if they think they need more than they have, why not work for it. Should I sponsor extravagances. However I still feel myself obliged for the normal expenses.
My daughter wanted to do a part time job, I refused to the bitter end. She is now 17 and gets 200€ as pocket money, that is for contributing in the house work. IF they don`t contribute there is a cut in money. The 14 year old gets 100€ and it goes down the ladder. Pocket money starts from the first class.
This girl having to pay fr her meal is crazy. What a mom. I think that many people just conveniently push their responsibilities aside.
I have indeed noticed this culture with money and how people in Europe are so petty about money, right to the last cent. It still amazes me till today.

If 18 year olds are permitted to get married and are considered "consenting adults" at 18 ---- I don't see why a 19 year old can't pick up her own bills.

So what has African culture gotta do with paying your bills?

^^^ Ask me again

I will always love and respect the African culture but I do not see a crime in a young adult working for her upkeep. Although I am against the situation whereby you go to a restaurant with your child and she ends up paying. That is so wrong.