Good day Nairalanders! I am deeply sorry to bother everybody reading this lengthy post, and I strongly acknowledge your concerns after you must have read through it.I will try to make it brief as much as I can.
I started dating a girl precisely August 2017.She is this very calm,gentle,industrious and God fearing lady to say the least.I really enjoyed my stint with her from 2017 to Mid 2019.Let me also add that she lost her dad when she was in secondary school about 10yrs ago.From what she told me,she was closer to the dad than her mum and that put paid to her smooth life.With the help of God and her mum she finished from one of the higher institution in South-western part of the country in early 2019,although faced with difficult experiences i can't even explain here.She completed her youth service in June,2020.A fateful day in July 2020,I requested that we should break up.The reason is because of my financial challenges although she was not demanding and was always cool with the little I have. Yet,I have this feelings that she deserves a better man,we both found it so hard to part ways but we are now talking from afar.
Fast forward to today,I missed her call twice but we eventually had a conversation and she made me realise how life has become so miserable for her.She is traumatised,depressed and has become subject of ridicule in the neighbourhood.She would even be booed and insulted by her mum whenever she is managing to eat any little meal from the house.Mum will be like "be eating at home and be sleeping while your mates are working outside".From the best of my knowledge,she had tried all means to search for even the petty ones.She would use her money for food to transport herself to hunt for job but to no avail and she's now left with nothing.Even her low-toned voice on phone today broke my heart in pieces. (Our chat are on my phone).I am so pained seeing a girl of her age going through this present situation.She does not want to go into any shady stuffs like prostitution and the likes.

PM: I have advised her to stop looking for any job right now as there is none anywhere.I asked her to look for a way to start a small-scale business but she told me she is not having even 5 Naira in her purse.She has learnt so much vocational skills both before and during her NYSC months,sadly,no fund to start up any of them.I am convinced she isn't a lazy woman.
She is now looking unkempt and a shadow of herself.Our chat today was going on pastoral level,as I was looking for possible piece of advice I can give her at least to get her back on track.Not until when she reiterated her plans of taking her own life which I had at some points rebuffed twice last year.This time around,she is more determined about it as life has become extra meaningless to her.At the point when she said this,I became so mad at her and I rained so much insults and hurtful words on her with the main objective of halting her proposed suicidal mission.I let her realised that she might not even get the rest she crave for when she eventually died.I threatened her that I would release our chat on social media and would let her mum be aware.Though she begged me not to do so but I don't know what she might do after this.
Please Nairalanders, I need your help on how this hopeless girl can be saved from deleting herself.I really need you people to help me reintegrate her back to normal life even if this will be the only assistance I will get from this place,DO THIS FOR ME!!! I really can't imagine myself not raising alarm after so much glaring picture of how desperate she is right now.Though we are not dating again,I still don't want to weep over her.
Please kindly suggest any NGO or persons that could help her in this regard.She needs to be strengthened mentally,physically.She wouldn't mind doing any legitimate job no matter how small the pay is.I really wish I could be of monetary help to her but I am currently incapacitated and that is why I am here soliciting for her even though she's not aware of this I am doing.
Please all your help and suggestions will be greatly valued and appreciated.
Please help me move this to front page as a matter of urgency I beg you.
#HerLiveMatters

Huh?

You are a wicked hypocrite. How could you dump her when she needed you most? Let me tell you one thing, if a lady experiences heartbreak but still has a job to turn to, it makes it easier to get over the heartbreak. Or if she loses a job and still has a relationship it reduces the trauma a little bit. Now, she was going through a hard time, you still went ahead and ended the relationship?? Why won't she feel suicidal? Very heartless men everywhere.

I'm very sure if she had a high profile job, you wouldn't have ended the relationship. I'm very sure of that.

You wrecked that girls life.

pozehnani:
Huh?

You are a wicked hypocrite. How could you dump her when she needed you most? Let me tell you one thing, if a lady experiences heartbreak but still has a job to turn to, it makes it easier to get over the heartbreak. Or if she loses a job and still has a relationship it reduces the trauma a little bit. Now, she was going through a hard time, you still went ahead ended and the relationship?? Why won't she feel suicidal? Very heartless men everywhere.

I'm very sure if she had a high profile job, you wouldn't have ended the relationship. I'm very sure of that.

You wrecked that girls life.

I really appreciate your comment!
I have left her neither because I was tired of her nor her jobless status.I only tried to see if she would at least erase me from her heart and find a better man since I can't even provide for her immedate needs.A lady of her nature deserves to be treated right but sadly,I can't afford the the financial resources to get going.
Thanks for your words though,I know u are a woman as well

Loveskid:

I really appreciate your comment!
I have left her neither because I was tired of her nor her jobless status.I only tried to see if she would at least erase me from her heart and find a better man since I can't even provide for her immedate needs.A lady of her nature deserves to be treated right but sadly,I can't afford the the financial resources to get going.
Thanks for your words though,I know u are a woman as well

It's not a matter of my being a woman. I just feel for her. I mean... It's not as if she complained to you about not being able to meet her needs. All she needed was a friend in deed. Ok, now, has she been able to get the so called father Christmas? I just feel you were tired of being with a broke girl which is not fair.

Include her location so people will know how to help

If that girl die, the suicide note she will keep will include your name as the cause of her taking her life, you better get her on track back, after all the promises you don give her before she allow you kellect, now u come run, for your mind now you don leave her, who you wan push her to? Go back and rebuild her joo.

Most people won't understand what she is going through and will castigate her for thinking suicide. Regardless, you should have a teit a teit with her and find out what the problem really is. I'm positive something bigger is disturbing her other than her inability to get a job.

I feel this way because you mentioned she completed her NYSC in June, and the year is not even over. Could it be that she desperately needs a man in her life and none is forthcoming? Trust me, most girls will fall into depression over their inability to get a man than over their jobless situations.

That being said, if you really care for her, then you should try and pay her a visit. Then use that opportunity to also chat with her mom or sibling. I'm sure if she kicks the bucket, the mom would be inconsolable, so she has no business in tormenting her daughter's life.

You could also do well and fill us in about her personal profile like location, discipline, skills, and other necessary details. I'm positive her helper is around and itching to lift her up.

Is she in Port Harcourt. If she is, I might be able to link her up with a teaching job. I hope she's sound academically?

Ok

otokpamike:
If that girl die, the suicide note she will keep will include your name as the cause of her taking her life, you better get her on track back, after all the promises you don give her before she allow you kellect, now u come run, for your mind now you don leave her, who you wan push her to? Go back and rebuild her joo.

Wish my mind can be opened to see what's in there.I have no ill-feelings at all.Thank you sir!

We4all:
Most people won't understand what she is going through and will castigate her for thinking suicide. Regardless, you should have a teit a teit with her and find out what the problem really is. I'm positive something bigger is disturbing her other than her inability to get a job.

I feel this way because you mentioned she completed her NYSC in June, and the year is not even over. Could it be that she desperately needs a man in her life and none is forthcoming? Trust me, most girls will fall into depression over their inability to get a man than over their jobless situations.

That being said, if you really care for her, then you should try and pay her a visit. Then use that opportunity to also chat with her mom or sibling. I'm sure if she kicks the bucket, the mom would be inconsolable, so she has no business in tormenting her daughter's life.

You could also do well and fill us in about her personal profile like location, discipline, skills, and other necessary details. I'm positive her helper is around and itching to lift her up.

She stays in Ibadan S/Western,Nigeria.Studied Human Physiology though she finished with third class, i guess maybe due to the complexity of the course and her mind was always troubled even while in school.Age range is 26-27,She is good in catering and making of pasteries and some confectioneries.Also can make household items like custards,paints and some others.

I don't think she's desperately looking for a man right now.She said the frustration she gets from home is just so much for her to bear.No piece of mind for her.She told me all she needed for now is where to just be getting something as income so she can be free from molestation of different forms.
I could have say she come to my place but I don't have anything tangible on me either from the beginning of last year.I have been searching for a job for her too,no way

Loveskid:

She stays in Ibadan S/Western,Nigeria.Studied Human Physiology though she finished with third class, i guess maybe due to the complexity of the course and her mind was always troubled even while in school.Age range is 26-27,She is good in catering and making of pasteries and some confectioneries.Also can make household items like custards,paints and some others.

I don't think she's desperately looking for a man right now.She said the frustration she gets from home is just so much for her to bear.No piece of mind for her.She told me all she needed for now is where to just be getting something as income so she can be free from molestation of different forms.
I could have say she come to my place but I don't have anything tangible on me either from the beginning of last year.I have been searching for a job for her too,no way

people always feel suicidal when they are depressed, down, castigated and scorned and feel there's no way out of their problems but there's always a way out, one just have to think around like they used to say "think outside the box". Tell her to start a catering business or join one either a restaurant or an eatery, she should pocket her pride and forget about being a graduate now... There's more to life than being stuck with one miserable paper called certificate.

CaptMarvel:
tell her to start a catering business or join one either a restaurant or an eatery, she should pocket her pride and forget about being a graduate now... There's more to life than being stuck with one miserable paper called certificate.

Thanks man.the same thing I told her yesterday but said she is in a tight corner of not even having 5naira to even go out and search further.

Loveskid:

Thanks man.the same thing I told her yesterday but said she is in a tight corner of not even having 5naira to even go out and search further.

if she could walk 5 to 10km I'm sure she will be able to find a restaurant or an eatery that would be able to accept her and from there she could better herself. You can help her with 1k tfare at least to do that, na you be the boyfriend na! Lolz.

CaptMarvel:
if she could walk 5 to 10km I'm sure she will be able to find a restaurant or an eatery that would be able to accept her and from there she could better herself. You can help her with 1k tfare at least to do that, na you be the boyfriend na! Lolz.

Smiles...
I will tell her this,i pray she find one very soon

Loveskid:
Good day Nairalanders! I am deeply sorry to bother everybody reading this lengthy post, and I strongly acknowledge your concerns after you must have read through it.I will try to make it brief as much as I can.
I started dating a girl precisely August 2017.She is this very calm,gentle,industrious and God fearing lady to say the least.I really enjoyed my stint with her from 2017 to Mid 2019.Let me also add that she lost her dad when she was in secondary school about 10yrs ago.From what she told me,she was closer to the dad than her mum and that put paid to her smooth life.With the help of God and her mum she finished from one of the higher institution in South-western part of the country in early 2019,although faced with difficult experiences i can't even explain here.She completed her youth service in June,2020.A fateful day in July 2020,I requested that we should break up.The reason is because of my financial challenges although she was not demanding and was always cool with the little I have. Yet,I have this feelings that she deserves a better man,we both found it so hard to part ways but we are now talking from afar.
Fast forward to today,I missed her call twice but we eventually had a conversation and she made me realise how life has become so miserable for her.She is traumatised,depressed and has become subject of ridicule in the neighbourhood.She would even be booed and insulted by her mum whenever she is managing to eat any little meal from the house.Mum will be like "be eating at home and be sleeping while your mates are working outside".From the best of my knowledge,she had tried all means to search for even the petty ones.She would use her money for food to transport herself to hunt for job but to no avail and she's now left with nothing.Even her low-toned voice on phone today broke my heart in pieces. (Our chat are on my phone).I am so pained seeing a girl of her age going through this present situation.She does not want to go into any shady stuffs like prostitution and the likes.

PM: I have advised her to stop looking for any job right now as there is none anywhere.I asked her to look for a way to start a small-scale business but she told me she is not having even 5 Naira in her purse.She has learnt so much vocational skills both before and during her NYSC months,sadly,no fund to start up any of them.I am convinced she isn't a lazy woman.
She is now looking unkempt and a shadow of herself.Our chat today was going on pastoral level,as I was looking for possible piece of advice I can give her at least to get her back on track.Not until when she reiterated her plans of taking her own life which I had at some points rebuffed twice last year.This time around,she is more determined about it as life has become extra meaningless to her.At the point when she said this,I became so mad at her and I rained so much insults and hurtful words on her with the main objective of halting her proposed suicidal mission.I let her realised that she might not even get the rest she crave for when she eventually died.I threatened her that I would release our chat on social media and would let her mum be aware.Though she begged me not to do so but I don't know what she might do after this.
Please Nairalanders, I need your help on how this hopeless girl can be saved from deleting herself.I really need you people to help me reintegrate her back to normal life even if this will be the only assistance I will get from this place,DO THIS FOR ME!!! I really can't imagine myself not raising alarm after so much glaring picture of how desperate she is right now.Though we are not dating again,I still don't want to weep over her.
Please kindly suggest any NGO or persons that could help her in this regard.She needs to be strengthened mentally,physically.She wouldn't mind doing any legitimate job no matter how small the pay is.I really wish I could be of monetary help to her but I am currently incapacitated and that is why I am here soliciting for her even though she's not aware of this I am doing.
Please all your help and suggestions will be greatly valued and appreciated.
Please help me move this to front page as a matter of urgency I beg you.
#HerLiveMatters

For now the help she needs to help every other things to be put in place is just you and the relationship to go on

I don't really know why you break up from her at this point of her unstable life

You can still be dating her but make it known to her that marriage is not in your plans and she is free to hook up with any guy who wants to go into any relationship with her

With this, she will know that you guys have set a limit to your relationship

Get back to her and assure her that God is aware of her

Are you telling me that if she happens to gain admission abroad and from a wealthy family, you will end the relationship because nothing is working out from your side

Think twice

pozehnani:
Huh?

[b]You are a wicked hypocrite. How could you dump her when she needed you most [/b]Let me tell you one thing, if a lady experiences heartbreak but still has a job to turn to, it makes it easier to get over the heartbreak. Or if she loses a job and still has a relationship it reduces the trauma a little bit. Now, she was going through a hard time, you still went ahead ended and the relationship?? Why won't she feel suicidal? Very heartless men everywhere.

I'm very sure if she had a high profile job, you wouldn't have ended the relationship. I'm very sure of that.

You wrecked that girls life].

Basically a normal thing for an average lady out there. Outstanding how you lot can take what you dish every other day, eh??

frozen70:


For now the help she needs to help every other things to be put in place is just you and the relationship to go on

I don't really know why you break up from her at this point of her unstable life

You can still be dating her but make it known to her that marriage is not in your plans and she is free to hook up with any guy who wants to go into any relationship with her

With this, she will know that you guys have set a limit to your relationship

Get back to her and assure her that God is aware of her

Are you telling me that if she happens to gain admission abroad and from a wealthy family, you will end the relationship because nothing is working out from your side

Think twice

Hmmmm.
Thank you for this.

KevinDein:

Basically a normal thing for an average lady out there. Outstanding how you lot can take what you dish every other day, eh??

Please I seem not to have a clear picture of your message

I am more concerned about her life right now...The relationship has no drive for now,I don't know why this is happening and you guys are yet to understand my plight.
I also have my own challenges I'm dealing with but just trying to be a man.

Some would say I dumped her after taking advantage of her.That's not only ridiculous,but mischievous and far from the truth just to say the least.

I'm just having a feeling of déjà vu right now.

People are so selfish. And I mean both gender, this isn't gender based.

You left someone that loves wholeheartedly because you didn't have anything to offer her. Not that she asked you to offer her anything o. She was doing well on her own, managing herself, even though it wasn't enough, she can always go home and have someone to talk about how her day went with.

Then you decided to shatter her heart because of your selfish reasons. Without even considering how she'll feel.

Now she's lost everything and back to square one. All because the only happiness she had has left her. No work, no money, no man. Just empty and staggering to get back to her feet to no avail.

Hmm. Shakes my head. My candid advice. Go back to her, apologize for leaving her and be her strength once more. You'll be surprised how she'll stand on her feet again. She needs you, she misses you.

Forget about what you'll offer her or how you're trying to find yourself. You two should find yourselves together, grind together, hustle together and become a power couple. That is, if you truly love her.

Shortyy:
I'm just having a feeling of déjà vu right now.

People are so selfish. And I mean both gender, this isn't gender based.

You left someone that loves wholeheartedly because you didn't have anything to offer her. Not that she asked you to offer her anything o. She was doing well on her own, managing herself, even though it wasn't enough, she can always go home and have someone to talk about how her day went with.

Then you decided to shatter her heart because of your selfish reasons. Without even considering how she'll feel.

Now she's lost everything and back to square one. All because the only happiness she had has left her. No work, no money, no man. Just empty and staggering to get back to her feet to no avail.

Hmm. Shakes my head. My candid advice. Go back to her, apologize for leaving her and be her strength once more. You'll be surprised how she'll stand on her feet again. She needs you, she misses you.

Forget about what you'll offer her or how you're trying to find yourself. You two should find yourselves together, grind together, hustle together and become a power couple. That is, if you truly love her.

Well said ... God bless you bro

Loveskid:
I am more concerned about her life right now...The relationship has no drive for now,I don't know why this is happening and you guys are yet to understand my plight.
I also have my own challenges I'm dealing with but just trying to be a man.

Some would say I dumped her after taking advantage of her.That's not only ridiculous,but mischievous and far from the truth just to say the least.

She's heartbroken, that's the cause of her depression, not her family.

I wonder why she's still talking to you after the way you treated her. She must be suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

And you somehow even made her believe you did it for your own good . . . . genius!

Poor girl . . . She doesn't stand a chance with you hovering around her acting all concerned, after destroying her self confidence and worth.

Men!!

goryorhal:


Well said ... God bless you bro

I'm no bro.
God bless you too

UjuJoan2:


She's heartbroken, that's the cause of her depression, not her family.

I wonder why she's still talking to you after the way you treated her. She must be suffering from Stockholm syndrome.

And you somehow even made her believe you did it for your own good . . . . genius!

Poor girl . . . She doesn't stand a chance with you hovering around her acting all concerned, after destroying her self confidence and worth.

Men!!

Very heartless beings

Loveskid:
Good day Nairalanders! I am deeply sorry to bother everybody reading this lengthy post, and I strongly acknowledge your concerns after you must have read through it.I will try to make it brief as much as I can.
I started dating a girl precisely August 2017.She is this very calm,gentle,industrious and God fearing lady to say the least.I really enjoyed my stint with her from 2017 to Mid 2019.Let me also add that she lost her dad when she was in secondary school about 10yrs ago.From what she told me,she was closer to the dad than her mum and that put paid to her smooth life.With the help of God and her mum she finished from one of the higher institution in South-western part of the country in early 2019,although faced with difficult experiences i can't even explain here.She completed her youth service in June,2020.A fateful day in July 2020,I requested that we should break up.The reason is because of my financial challenges although she was not demanding and was always cool with the little I have. Yet,I have this feelings that she deserves a better man,we both found it so hard to part ways but we are now talking from afar.
Fast forward to today,I missed her call twice but we eventually had a conversation and she made me realise how life has become so miserable for her.She is traumatised,depressed and has become subject of ridicule in the neighbourhood.She would even be booed and insulted by her mum whenever she is managing to eat any little meal from the house.Mum will be like "be eating at home and be sleeping while your mates are working outside".From the best of my knowledge,she had tried all means to search for even the petty ones.She would use her money for food to transport herself to hunt for job but to no avail and she's now left with nothing.Even her low-toned voice on phone today broke my heart in pieces. (Our chat are on my phone).I am so pained seeing a girl of her age going through this present situation.She does not want to go into any shady stuffs like prostitution and the likes.

PM: I have advised her to stop looking for any job right now as there is none anywhere.I asked her to look for a way to start a small-scale business but she told me she is not having even 5 Naira in her purse.She has learnt so much vocational skills both before and during her NYSC months,sadly,no fund to start up any of them.I am convinced she isn't a lazy woman.
She is now looking unkempt and a shadow of herself.Our chat today was going on pastoral level,as I was looking for possible piece of advice I can give her at least to get her back on track.Not until when she reiterated her plans of taking her own life which I had at some points rebuffed twice last year.This time around,she is more determined about it as life has become extra meaningless to her.At the point when she said this,I became so mad at her and I rained so much insults and hurtful words on her with the main objective of halting her proposed suicidal mission.I let her realised that she might not even get the rest she crave for when she eventually died.I threatened her that I would release our chat on social media and would let her mum be aware.Though she begged me not to do so but I don't know what she might do after this.
Please Nairalanders, I need your help on how this hopeless girl can be saved from deleting herself.I really need you people to help me reintegrate her back to normal life even if this will be the only assistance I will get from this place,DO THIS FOR ME!!! I really can't imagine myself not raising alarm after so much glaring picture of how desperate she is right now.Though we are not dating again,I still don't want to weep over her.
Please kindly suggest any NGO or persons that could help her in this regard.She needs to be strengthened mentally,physically.She wouldn't mind doing any legitimate job no matter how small the pay is.I really wish I could be of monetary help to her but I am currently incapacitated and that is why I am here soliciting for her even though she's not aware of this I am doing.
Please all your help and suggestions will be greatly valued and appreciated.
Please help me move this to front page as a matter of urgency I beg you.
#HerLiveMatters

.

ohh. I'm so sorry for her

I'm so sorry to read that! Poor girl!
If to be honest I don't understand why did you break up with her? You had financial challenges and she didn't tell you that it is a problem!
I guess she is so depressed now! You should stay with her! She needs you!
I was depressed too and it was a very hard time! I moved to another city - I had no friends there and then the pandemic started! I found an online therapist https://trustsession.com/ ! And it really helped me! I found some friends but unfortunately only online friends for now! Btw - the advantages of online therapy are that you don't have to go to a personal meeting! This is very important during a pandemic.

Send me the girls number let me chat with her 08161127336