CONSIDER the plight of a certain 23-year-old man. He has only a limited education and is working for a minimum wage. Thoughts of marriage and a satisfying life seem out of the question for him. No wonder his mother says: “He is extremely sad and frustrated.” This young man’s case is typical of that of millions of others. For one reason or another, people in all walks of life are frustrated.

Frustration is “a deep chronic sense or condition of insecurity, discouragement, and dissatisfaction arising from thwarted desires, inner conflicts, or other unresolved problems.” (Webster’s Third New International Dictionary) We experience frustration when we try very hard to accomplish something but do not succeed. We feel blocked at every turn, as if we were beating our head against a stone wall, with no chance of success. All of us know the feeling.

Workers on seemingly unrewarding jobs may have feelings of worthlessness. If taken for granted, wives or mothers struggling with daily anxieties and tiring duties may feel unfulfilled, unappreciated. Young people encountering trials at school may feel frustrated in efforts to get an education. Members of minority groups may be torn apart inside, convinced that they are victims of unjust discrimination. Businessmen who honestly try to provide quality products or services may be crushed by unscrupulous and dishonest competitors. These and similar experiences cause frustration and leave many with feelings of hopelessness.

A wise man who lived centuries ago was able to put his frustrations into words that we can understand. Israel’s king Solomon said: “I, even I, turned toward all the works of mine that my hands had done and toward the hard work that I had worked hard to accomplish, and, look! everything was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing of advantage under the sun. For what does a man come to have for all his hard work and for the striving of his heart with which he is working hard under the sun? For all his days his occupation means pains and vexation, also during the night his heart just does not lie down. This too is mere vanity.” (Ecclesiastes 2:11, 22, 23) Solomon’s words express the despair that so many feel in trying to cope with frustrations that rob them of a rewarding life.

Frustrated people may even become desperate. In severe cases some have abandoned the struggle, dropping out of society to live on its fringes. To get what they feel entitled to, some have resorted to crime and violence. Unrelenting pressures have shattered marriages and family ties.

Many of us may have to put forth great effort in searching for ways to cope with frustration. In spite of what we do, things may seem to get worse. Says Proverbs 13:12: “Expectation postponed is making the heart sick.” Our physical and spiritual well-being may hang in the balance. Is the situation hopeless? Must we live with constant frustration as a retribution for our inadequacies or mistakes? Can some practical steps be taken to cope with frustration in order to enjoy a more satisfying life? Let us see.

Some Ways to Cope With Frustration

When we have a problem and need advice, we usually go to a knowledgeable, experienced person we can trust. Proverbs 3:5, 6 recommends: “Trust in Jehovah with all your heart and do not lean upon your own understanding. In all your ways take notice of him, and he himself will make your paths straight.” Practical advice can be found in God’s Word, the Bible. Consider some examples of the insight it provides.

Frustration may be related to making a living. For instance, our secular work may be satisfying, but low wages may be a source of depression. We love our families and want the best for them. Still, there seems to be no end to anxiety about meeting our financial obligations. We may work overtime and even take on a second job. After a while life seems to be a tedious cycle of eating, sleeping, and working. Yet, bills pile up, debts increase, and frustration mounts.

The primary purpose of secular work is to provide for our needs. But how much do we need? The apostle Paul wrote: “We have brought nothing into the world, and neither can we carry anything out. So, having sustenance and covering, we shall be content with these things.” Are we trying to acquire more than that and to match what others have or are able to do? If so, we may be reaping consequences in the form of frustration. Paul warned: “Those who are determined to be rich fall into temptation and a snare and many senseless and hurtful desires, which plunge men into destruction and ruin. For the love of money is a root of all sorts of injurious things, and by reaching out for this love some have been led astray from the faith and have stabbed themselves all over with many pains.” (1 Timothy 6:7-10) An honest evaluation of our material pursuits may reveal some nonessentials. A few reasonable adjustments toward thrift and a more modest life-style may go a long way toward minimizing our frustration.

Suppressed natural desires have caused much frustration. For example, it is natural for a young woman to have a strong urge to marry and have the security and warm affection that come with family life. She may go to great lengths to make herself more attractive with the latest fashions or beauty aids and may become an avid reader of periodicals offering advice to the lovelorn. The woman may attend an endless round of social gatherings in hopes of meeting someone suitable​—all to no avail. Years go by, and the frustration becomes unbearable. In desperation she may be tempted to marry someone unsuitable. Worse yet, to satisfy her craving for affection, she may become involved in immoral conduct.

In such a case, patience and good judgment are essential. Marriage to an unsuitable person​—especially one lacking faith in Jehovah—​would be a grave mistake. (1 Corinthians 7:39; 2 Corinthians 6:14, 15) Immorality inevitably leads to nothing but heartache and despair. (Proverbs 6:32, 33) Honest self-scrutiny, combined with a sensible approach, can help. A “quiet and mild spirit” can attract the right kind of marriage mate far better than stylish clothes or exotic cosmetics can. (1 Peter 3:3, 4) Instead of relying on often shortsighted or frivolous advice of worldly experts, it is vital to go to the Originator of marriage to learn what it takes to be a wife who is loved and cherished. (Proverbs, chapter 31) Unmarried men and women should try to display the qualities they would desire in a mate. How wise it is to seek wholesome association with people who respect Bible principles. If we apply these in life, our prospects for a happy marriage will be infinitely better. Even if marriage does not materialize right away, acting in harmony with the Scriptures will bring joy and make a life of singleness very rewarding.

A heavy load of obligations may bring us to the point of exasperation. There may be pressure from all sides. We are anxious about the pressing needs of our family, and our employer may never be satisfied. Relatives may expect us to give a helping hand every time there is a crisis. Because of many pressures, a long list of neglected personal matters cries for our attention. It may seem that our time and energies have to be channeled in a dozen different directions all at once. Frustration may turn into exasperation, and we may feel like giving up. So, what should we do?

We would be wise to reevaluate our priorities. Since we can do only so much, it is impossible to accommodate every demand made by others. We need to narrow matters down to “the more important things.” (Philippians 1:10) After all, “a live dog is better off than a dead lion.” (Ecclesiastes 9:4) Some obligations are critical and cannot be set aside, whereas those less crucial may have to wait. We may have assumed full responsibility for some duties that should be shared by others. Some responsibilities may have to be eliminated entirely if they are not essential. Though this may initially cause inconvenience or may disappoint others, we need to respect our own physical and emotional limitations.

A debilitating disease can bring excruciating frustration, for it may put us in a sickbed for days or weeks at a time. Severe pain can make us miserable. Searching for a cure, we may go from one doctor to another or may take many medicines or vitamins in hopes that they will do some good. Yet, we may continue to suffer and may begin to wonder if life is worth the struggle.

This may be a problem that can be remedied only in God’s new world. (2 Peter 3:13; compare Isaiah 33:24.) Since humans are imperfect, doctors and medicines can do only so much. At some point we may have to accept our suffering as a part of life. The apostle Paul had “a thorn in the flesh,” perhaps an affliction of his eyes or another part of his body, so troublesome that he repeatedly prayed for relief. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) But God did not heal Paul, and perhaps the apostle had to contend with the affliction until his death. He lived with his suffering, did not ask for pity, and never lost his joy. (2 Corinthians 7:4) Though the upright man Job suffered great affliction, he maintained his faith in Jehovah, and this led to a rich reward. (Job 42:12, 13) If we are servants of God, we can find strength to carry on by reflecting on these examples and praying for Jehovah’s help.​—Psalm 41:1-3.

Strong Despite Frustrations

Jehovah’s people can be spiritually strong despite any frustrations. For instance, though we may have to endure illness, we can remain “healthy in faith” by taking full advantage of God’s spiritual provisions. (Titus 2:1, 2) While we may be frustratingly poor materially, we can be wonderfully rich spiritually.

By relying on God for wisdom and strength, we can cope with frustrations that may develop in domestic situations. For example, consider Abigail, the wife of Nabal. He was “harsh and bad in his practices,” and his very name means “Senseless; Stupid.” How frustrating it must have been to live with such a man! Yet, Abigail remained “good in discretion” and did not despair. Indeed, so discreet were her words and deeds during one crisis that she convinced David not to repay Nabal’s insults and ingratitude by shedding blood and failing to trust in Jehovah.​—1 Samuel 25:2-38.

Even if a situation involving someone associated with the Christian congregation is causing us frustration, we can endure in the strength that Jehovah imparts. This is shown by the fact that the potentially frustrating conduct of Diotrephes did not stop the godly man Gaius from doing good and thus reaping happiness and rich spiritual rewards.​—Acts 20:35; 3 John 1-10.

Frustration could result if we desire to serve our fellow believers in the congregation but are passed over when others are appointed as elders or ministerial servants. Rather than allowing disappointment to overwhelm us, however, let us seek to strengthen ourselves spiritually and allow God’s spirit to produce its fine fruitage in us to a greater extent. (Galatians 5:22, 23) During the 40 years that Moses spent in Midian, God developed in him to a higher degree the meekness, patience, and other qualities needed to cope with the hardships and frustrations he would encounter as the leader of the Israelites. Similarly, Jehovah may be preparing us for future service privileges that may come our way if we remain spiritually strong and do not succumb to frustration.

Relief From Frustration​—Soon!

Whatever their nature, will our frustrations ever end? To us, our situation may look hopeless but not to our Creator, Jehovah God. He is not subject to frustration. Through the prophet Isaiah, God said: “So my word that goes forth from my mouth will prove to be. It will not return to me without results, but it will certainly do that in which I have delighted, and it will have certain success in that for which I have sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11) Since Jehovah has almighty power and authority, nothing is impossible with him. (Mark 10:27) His promises to bring unending blessings to his people are sure to be fulfilled.​—Joshua 21:45.

Doubt and uncertainty are major elements in frustration. In contrast, however, “faith is the assured expectation of things hoped for.” (Hebrews 11:1) Faith in God provides a guarantee that all our Bible-based hopes will be fully realized. The overall theme of the Bible highlights Jehovah’s promise of Kingdom rule, under which the earth will become a perfect paradise wherein righteous people will joyfully live forever. (Psalm 37:11, 29) Everything bad​—including frustration—​will be gone, for God will ‘satisfy the desire of every living thing.’​—Psalm 145:16.

Until those blessings become a reality, all of us will have our share of frustration. But Scriptural hope can give us the courage and fortitude to persevere. The sound counsel we find in the Bible can show us how to use good judgment and reasonableness in a way that will bring stability to our lives and peace to our hearts. In spite of our disappointments, we can experience “the peace of God that excels all thought.” (Philippians 4:6, 7) So the battle against frustration is not hopeless. With Jehovah’s help we can cope with it today and conquer it

Confused? Thrown down? Oppressed? Abused? You have loss focus in life? Want to have good relationship with the only true God? Needing true lasting happiness
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