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Dealing With Offense In Marriage By Femi Oluyamoju - Family - Nairaland

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Dealing With Offense In Marriage By Femi Oluyamoju by brofmhsph: 7:53pm On Nov 29, 2020

I used to get easily offended by my wife especially because I expected her to know better or to consider me or to think like I thought.

Later I discover that expectations are the bedrock of offenses. If I expect that you will greet me and you didn't greet me, I will feel offended.

But if I was not really expecting any greeting from you and you didn't greet me, I won't feel any offense.

But this still pose a question, shouldn't I expect anything from my spouse?

I was locked at this question for a while until I got more clarity.

The day I gave my life to Jesus, I gave everything I am to Jesus. I gave everything I have, I own, I possess to Jesus.

This means that I have given my wife to Jesus��‍♂


This got me more confused, does that mean that I don't have a wife again��‍♂

If I have given my life to Jesus and my life includes my wife because we are now one, how do I obey the law of loving my wife as Christ loved the church?

I was more confused �

Then I got a clearer picture which I will explain below.

The first law of Jesus says love God with your all.

So to love my wife I must first love God and through God love my wife.

. God
/. \
Me. Wife

Since I have given my wife to Jesus, my expectations is no longer in my wife.

The Bible says woe unto him that puts his trust in flesh, my wife is part of flesh that can fail me. So I no longer put any expectation to her.

My expectations are now in Christ Jesus.

No matter how much she offends, I can only report her to her new husband, Jesus.

It's no more my expectations she failed to meet, it is Jesus expectation she failed.

It's no more my problem, it is Jesus problem.

I am no longer living to please her, I am not taking care of her because that's what husband do.

I am taking care of the Jesus property in my care.

If Jesus her new owner isn't shouting at her for losing his money, why should I shout.

If Jesus her new owner will forgive her the very second she ask for forgiveness no matter the offense, why should I not forgive and let go.

On the day of judgment, Jesus is going to ask me how I treated his property in my hands.

So back to the question, how do I now treat offenses in marriage?

I have handed my partner to Jesus, all my expectations is now in Jesus.

I am now under a new management 24 hours a day.

My manager "Jesus" does not sleep or slumber, so his control over my actions is active 24 hours a day.

I must report every action my spouse do to my manager 24 hours a day.

I know my manager will tell me to forgive her 70 x 70 times a day.

I know my manager will tell me anger lies in the bosom of fools.

I know a little anger can cut my communications with my manager in the heavenly headquarters.

I know if my communication with the headquarters is broken, that wicked enemy will implement his strategy to kill, to steal and to destroy.

I know Jesus says that on the day he will come like a thief in the night, 2 will be sleeping on the same bed, one will be taken and one left. I don't want to be the one left over an offense that naturally belongs to Jesus.

Oops, OK let me finally answer the question. I don't want to talk very long like bro Lanre and Sis Yinka Adeboye.

Let me be brief...

So the practical way I deal with offenses after all the Lord had taught me is to simply...... Forgive in advance. It's not my problem.

It's the problem of my new manager Jesus.


Because Jesus was so jealous he wasn't satisfied with 50% of me, he wasn't happy with 90% of me.

I even wanted to give him 99%, he refused and said I must give him 100%.

But I can't blame Jesus, Jesus paid 100% too. He gave his whole life.

So if I give him anything less than 100% I have cheated him.

My wife is part of the 100%. Her offense is part of the 100%. My children are part of the 100% my boss is part of the 100%, the government is part of the 100%.

Actually I am now a very empty guy because all my responsibilities are in Jesus. I follow him 24hrs.


Ok let me finish this short essay�

I am tired of this world, I just want to be part of those singing with God in heaven. If forgiving my wife in advance is what it takes to make heaven then... Darling you are forgiven in advance ooo.

What if she takes advantage of my forward forgiveness, hmmm. Jesus will deal with her, it's still not my problem

Thank you

Jokefemioluyamoju Marital Foundation

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