As a proper Nigerian, finishing the year with so much money in your account is a very big deal. I’m very sure you can’t wait to pepper dem this December.

You can’t wait to show-off to that babe turned you down because you couldn’t afford bone-straight or to that HoeGee that told you he only wanted to smash and pass.

The bad news

The 2k you usually earn from site can’t be enough for your Detty December plans. Omo that 2k we used to be proud of before can’t even buy one basket of onions. Look at yourself now, can you afford to send 2k urgently to that girl that you met at Betty’s birthday last week? Of course not. Omo wahala for who no get money for Detty December o.

The good news

As a generous person which I am, I’ll show you tremendous ways in which you can make enough money for Detty December without going broke in January. If one method doesn’t work out, you should obviously try another method. It’s best you try all these methods at the same time which will then result in much more money—it’s called doubling your hustle. Ask Orezi, he knows better.

Everyone keeps saying “Enugbe”, they always say there’s no money in this country, No mind them o na scam. Let me show you how to make plenty of money that even your village people will have no choice but to rejoice with you.

I’m about to take you through Financial Intelligence 101. Are you ready for this premium course?

1. Sell one of your kidneys

As you may know, nothing good comes without paying a price. Were you expecting me to tell you where you find free money? Of course not.

As at today, a kidney costs a whopping amount of $262,000! After all, God blessed you without 2 kidneys. So letting one go shouldn’t be a big deal at all. Doctors have also confirmed you can live quite long with just one kidney. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Moreso, the human heart costs $119,000. Imagine selling that heart Folake broke because of that stupid Sugar Daddy that gave her a lift in front of your house. I just hope you get to live after you decide to sell that broken heart �.

2. Rob a bank

You don’t need to be a professional armed robber before you can rob a bank. You just need to get at least 6 ex-convicts to rob a bank.

If you’ve watched the Money Heist series, you should be able to learn how to properly rob a bank from the Professor. But if you eventually decide to rob the bank yourself, I wish you good luck. Just don’t kill anyone, not even the security officers.

If you get caught, there’s still hope.

A loan at a bank can take 35 years to pay off. If you rob a bank, you will be out in 10 years. I know 10 years looks long. But there’s a saying that goes “We suffer today so we can enjoy tomorrow”. Imagine planning for 2030’s Detty December in 2020. You’re so futuristic.

3. Do money rituals

I’m pretty sure you’ve heard stories of people that had wealth through money rituals or you’ve probably seen it in Nigerian movies. Money ritual is not fiction, it is real. It’s one of the fastest ways to get rich quick in this country.

I advise you to seek the help of a Herbalist ASAP. But if they ask you to bring someone for rituals, don’t do it! Don’t be wicked dear. Plus, the spirit of the person will haunt you to the extent that you may not live to see this Christmas. You don’t want to do that.

Tell the Herbalist you only want the ritual for Detty December. He might ask you to steal someone’s chicken or buy a cow that has a big hump. At least you’re not taking any one’s life, you might just face consequences like not being able to have seks for life. Is seks a priority? No, it’s not. Isaac Newton did not touch any woman till he died. You can do it too.

CLICK TO CONTINUE READING https://tomilola.com/being-nigerian/make-enough-money-for-detty-december/

This is a word of hope for the hopeless..

Out of the 1 million ways to make money choose one.

Lastly, before I drop my pen, I'll like everyone to know the word is full of strange things and people.

Many Are Mad, Few Are Roaming