...

Hmm..

Did you not observe all that while you were dating?. That's the first thing I check on my first visit and it determines whether or not I'll continue with the relationship.

If a man's house is not set, forget it! How can I come and be tushing a house and the man will just be there looking like he's not there.

Some men are so archaic. Its just in their blood. You can even tell from the way some of them dress.


Rubber shoes for Christmas??

He's cheating you big time. He won't buy those things because he feels they are luxury but he enjoys using them?? Big time cheat. Anyways, continue doing "the woman is good" until he milks you dry.

Married people, over to you guys.

He may not be buying things you wished for but has other many responsibilities you really haven't noticed are numerous.


It is not easy to be a man.


Have you tired talking it over with him? .. at least hearing his own side of this handicaps?

You may be sorry to understand what he'll say.

You are doing great in remembering what is needed. Just do your best.


Marriage is beautiful where understanding stands as its citadel.

Thanks.

He atleast pays the kids school fees.

I'm just speechless!!! Madam na your cross be that ooo, thank God he is still paying fees

This is the kind of life many men want to live when they keep demanding that wives must provide whether they like it or not meanwhile God gave different decree ooo


Anyway Op it seems you are a very nice lady, if na me I will only spend on myself and the kids, let him say I am wicked I no send, you are chief home keeper (according to your husbands beliefs) you are the one looking after kids personal needs, I bet you are also the one in charge of cooking and cleaning and shopping for kitchen stuff, and after everything yourself and the kids all answer your husbands name and live under his authority when the only thing he does is pay school fees.
Tell him you are sending money to your relatives who need it, maybe your mom or cousins for schoolfees, pocket money etc and keep your money to yourself and your kids, invest it for their future.

Men these days dont want to do anything in marriage

.
So what does he do with his money aside paying his children school fees?

Does he have project(s) he's working on?
How about feeding allowance for his kids?

.

In marriage, "they" say "don't start what you can't finish".

Maybe you have shown him that you can afford to handle the things in the house and so he doesn't need to spend his money.

You need to start demanding money from him. If you need to buy things for the kids, give him a list. Let him get involved. Share the expenses and push to make sure he fulfils his own part.

From the way you have described him, the best thing might be to tell him that you got a pay cut. But you said you cannot lie. Ask yourself...what is he using his money for?

He is your husband. There must be a way you can get through to him. That mentality he has about a woman handling things is a convenient one for him and needs to be changed

. Trophy wife... You started it nah, Biko continue

You already showed him you are a super woman, you can afford everything.. I am sure you are buying him clothes and shoes continue

CHoccolaTE:
This is the kind of life many men want to live when they keep demanding that wives must provide whether they like it or not meanwhile God gave different decree ooo


Anyway Op it seems you are a very nice lady, if na me I will only spend on myself and the kids, let him say I am wicked I no send, you are chief home keeper (according to your husbands beliefs) you are the one looking after kids personal needs, I bet you are also the one in charge of cooking and cleaning and shopping for kitchen stuff, and after everything yourself and the kids all answer your husbands name and live under his authority when the only thing he does is pay school fees.
Tell him you are sending money to your relatives who need it, maybe your mom or cousins for schoolfees, pocket money etc and keep your money to yourself and your kids, invest it for their future.

Men these days dont want to do anything in marriage

This was sef wan marry
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.

OP, you are lucky she didn't wish you death like she did to the lady who owns this thread:

Marriage comes with different challenges madam. Maybe this is your own cross. Wait and see if he changes after you both completes your joint project. If he doesn't, then open a kids account and save up for your children's future. If he notices any changes in you, simply tell him you are saving up for your children's higher learning. At least he won't force you to make withdrawals from their account.

See them wailing

Because a woman bought TV in the house we no go hear word again.
Millions of men globally are sole providers for their households, most are even unknowingly paying school fees for kids from other men. Men have been providing quietly for centuries and nobody complained.

Then women woke up one fateful morning and decided they are tired of sitting at home and being taken care of by men, so they decided to fight for the wonderful thing called equality - unless now, she still wants the man to provide and also share in domestic responsibilities?

Jokers.

OP, shebi you and your ilks wanted to be equal to men? This looks like a 50/50 situation to me so why you complaining?
If you can't take it anymore, leave him (although I doubt you can afford to) Ms Independent.

Also noticed how you conveniently ommitted who pays the rent.

Madam, Love is not blind in Marriage o. You need to shine your eye. The first mistake you made was telling him how much you earn. You should have slashed your salary into 2.
He feels very comfortable because he knows you can afford it. If he doesn't buy it, you will surely buy it.
Madam, its time to be smart.
Tell him something happened in your company and your salary was slashed. Forge an official letter from your company to back it up with evidence.
The new song you should be singing everyday is I DONT HAVE MONEY.
Tell him you have a grandma you will he sending money to every month, tell him your parents need your help too.
Don't buy anything in the house. Close your eyes and be hard hearted cos if you continue like this, you won't have any savings for the rainy day.
If your husband gets too comfortable, he will have excess money to spend on side chicks so pls be smart.

.So what does he do with his money aside paying his children school fees?Does he have project(s) he's working on?How about feeding allowance for his kids?

Coloredsg:
Madam, Love is not blind in Marriage o. You need to shine your eye. The first mistake you made was telling him how much you earn. You should have slashed your salary into 2.
He feels very comfortable because he knows you can afford it. If he doesn't buy it, you will surely buy it.
Madam, its time to be smart.
Tell him something happened in your company and your salary was slashed. Forge an official letter from your company to back it up with evidence.
The new song you should be singing everyday is I DONT HAVE MONEY.
Tell him you have a grandma you will he sending money to every month, tell him your parents need your help too.
Don't buy anything in the house. Close your eyes and be hard hearted cos if you continue like this, you won't have any savings for the rainy day.
If your husband gets too comfortable, he will have excess money to spend on side chicks so pls be smart.

Imagine if men also gave each other this advice.. hmm - we would achieve great things in our personal lives, have good savings and actually have enough to help our family members while she faces hers squarely

ImaIma1:
In marriage, "they" say "don't start what you can't finish".

Maybe you have shown him that you can afford to handle the things in the house and so he doesn't need to spend his money.

You need to start demanding money from him. If you need to buy things for the kids, give him a list. Let him get involved. Share the expenses and push to make sure he fulfils his own part.

From the way you have described him, the best thing might be to tell him that you got a pay cut. But you said you cannot lie. Ask yourself...what is he using his money for?

He is your husband. There must be a way you can get through to him. That mentality he has about a woman handling things is a convenient one for him and needs to be changed

poshestmina:
.
So what does he do with his money aside paying his children school fees?

Does he have project(s) he's working on?
How about feeding allowance for his kids?

Rent?
Electricity bills?
Fuelling the car?
Helping his own external family members the same way she helps hers? Or maybe her own family members and even dependent on him.

I would like to hear his side of the story, because all this "i bought tv, I bought bed sheet, I paid for bus fare" are all petty expenses tbh.

notoracism:


Yes, he has other responsibilities and we are in it together. We have a project, he tends to put all his money there and leave me to also contribute to the project and do other things at home too. For like a year now I earn more, atimes depending on the contract, far more. But before this time I do it myself and now same.

This year I have not bought anything tangible at home because we wanted to complete a project, in the course of the whole stuff he got some extra cash and we needed bedsheets and also reminded him of TV, that's after buying sofa, I thought he'd joyfully buy them but no way, he was giving excuses. I bought bedsheets cos I can't stand sleeping on old and bad looking bedsheets or not having extra to change to.

Jumia black Friday came and he asked me to order for TV without making the cash transfer first, now he said he is not buying if I don't buy it. Am not a TV person cos I get busy always so that living room can stay as long as I don't care. My kids have theirs. So shameful but he careless.

You're not a TV person yet you're forcing him to buy another one even though the kids have a TV to themselves. Lol.

You still haven't mentioned who pays the rent - because he probably does!

Cut your cloth according to your size madam. This ain't the 50s ma, marriage is a partnership. He is not obligated to do anything for you that he doesn't want to.

If you were a single mother won't you buy bedsheet on your bed, feed your kids and pay rent?

Marriage is not by force, if you're not happy, you can always walk away.

wisdomiskey:



Rent?
Electricity bills?
Fuelling the car?
Helping his own external family members the same way she helps hers? Or maybe her own family members and even dependent on him.

I would like to hear his side of the story, because all this "i bought tv, I bought bed sheet, I paid for bus fare" are all petty expenses tbh.

This same probing and wanting to hear from the other side...I hope you will also investigate when it is a man that posts a similar story.

wisdomiskey:
See them wailing

Because a woman bought TV in the house we no go hear word again.
Millions of men globally are sole providers for their households, most are even unknowingly paying school fees for kids from other men. Men have been providing quietly for centuries and nobody complained.

Then women woke up one fateful morning and decided they are tired of sitting at home and being taken care of by men, so they decided to fight for the wonderful thing called equality - unless now, she still wants the man to provide and also share in domestic responsibilities?

Jokers.

OP, shebi you and your ilks wanted to be equal to men? This looks like a 50/50 situation to me so why you complaining?
If you can't take it anymore, leave him (although I doubt you can afford to) Ms Independent.

Also noticed how you conveniently ommitted who pays the rent.

You seem to be the one wailing up and down on different mentions. Your open hatred for women cannot allow you think and comment objectively. Even if the man comes and tells you what she says is true, you will still find a way to blame it on women.

You see what I'm talking about,maybe you were forming independent woman for him during courtship, see where it has landed you,its never a good thing to make a man feel you can be financially responsible in a home,they will abuse that privilege like the one you are facing now. I will never take up any major financial responsibilities when I get married, I can assist in very little little things sha like buying things for my kids that's all.

ImaIma1:


You seem to be the one wailing up and down on different mentions. Your open hatred for women cannot allow you think and comment objectively. Even if the man comes and tells you what she says is true, you will still find a way to blame it on women.

Oshey.
Wail your wail. make I wail my wail

You ilks will always see the truth as 'hate'.

Whether you like it or not, my contribution is the only reasonable one so far on this page.. take it or leave it

Zzor:
You see what I'm talking about,maybe you were forming independent woman for him during courtship, see where it has landed you,its never a good thing to make a man feel you can be financially responsible in a home,they will abuse that privilege like the one you are facing now. I will never take up any major financial responsibilities when I get married, I can assist in very little little things sha like buying things for my kids that's all.

Who go marry you put for house in the first place

wisdomiskey:


Who go marry you put for house in the first place

Them plenty,na me still dy waste time but not your types sha

ImaIma1:


This same probing and wanting to hear from the other side...I hope you will also investigate when it is a man that posts a similar story.

I won't coz men are always right!

Na una dey lie pass.

Just take that Queeny girl for example, crying and accusing a guy of rape only for us to find out that she's a cheap prosttii who over-priced her used up psleeve

Hmmm

notoracism:


Yes, he has other responsibilities and we are in it together. We have a project, he tends to put all his money there and leave me to also contribute to the project and do other things at home too. For like a year now I earn more, atimes depending on the contract, far more. But before this time I do it myself and now same.

This year I have not bought anything tangible at home because we wanted to complete a project, in the course of the whole stuff he got some extra cash and we needed bedsheets and also reminded him of TV, that's after buying sofa, I thought he'd joyfully buy them but no way, he was giving excuses. I bought bedsheets cos I can't stand sleeping on old and bad looking bedsheets or not having extra to change to.

Jumia black Friday came and he asked me to order for TV without making the cash transfer first, now he said he is not buying if I don't buy it. Am not a TV person cos I get busy always so that living room can stay as long as I don't care. My kids have theirs. So shameful but he careless.

I understand.


Just give yourself a break.

[s]

chatinent:
He may not be buying things you wished for but has other many responsibilities you really haven't noticed are numerous.


It is not easy to be a man.


Have you tired talking it over with him? .. at least hearing his own side of this handicaps?

You may be sorry to understand what he'll say.

You are doing great in remembering what is needed. Just do your best.


Marriage is beautiful where understanding stands as its citadel.

Thanks.

[/s]

After all that the op mentioned, what's left?
What other "responsibility" could there be that she wouldn't know about?
Same old excuse everytime "it's not easy to be a man" is it easy to be a woman?

[s]

Silentgroper:
He atleast pays the kids school fees.

[/s]

It's not a enough.

He should step up to his responsibility.

notoracism:


Yes, he has other responsibilities and we are in it together. We have a project, he tends to put all his money there and leave me to also contribute to the project and do other things at home too. For like a year now I earn more, atimes depending on the contract, far more. But before this time I do it myself and now same.

This year I have not bought anything tangible at home because we wanted to complete a project, in the course of the whole stuff he got some extra cash and we needed bedsheets and also reminded him of TV, that's after buying sofa, I thought he'd joyfully buy them but no way, he was giving excuses. I bought bedsheets cos I can't stand sleeping on old and bad looking bedsheets or not having extra to change to.

Jumia black Friday came and he asked me to order for TV without making the cash transfer first, now he said he is not buying if I don't buy it. Am not a TV person cos I get busy always so that living room can stay as long as I don't care. My kids have theirs. So shameful but he careless.

What is your idea of comfort? What is his idea of comfort?

If you both can agree to jointly fund projects, why can't you both treat beautifying your home as a project and jointly do it?

Who benefits from the projects you jointly fund? Can you give example of these projects?

mariahAngel:
[s][/s]

[S]After all that the op mentioned, what's left?
What other "responsibility" could there be that she wouldn't know about?
Same old excuse everytime "it's not easy to be a man" is it easy to be a woman?[/s]

0/100.