The situation in my family has affected me very badly. At a point I was fighting low self esteem cos of the way my mother made us feel. My younger sister is still feeling same she can't air her opinion when her peers are talking she doesn't just feel good enough. My dad use to be wealthy, married my mom when he had just a hut to sleep in. He was into oil and gas, with mum's help they raised capital from farm work and the business grew. It got to point my dad had like four filling stations though in remote towns. Ever since I was a child mom has always complained dad never clothed him even after all the farm work she did for him. He was never around and she had to shoulder all the work, he won't even provide meat for food, am from Benue so meat is very important to us. She got tired of reporting to her people since he never changed and decided she will get a job. She did got a teaching job in a government school and was still working on my dad's farm too. She is a stubborn woman and don't allow nonsense, the problem started when my dad's siblings and mom were leaving with them, she will have quarrels with my dad's mom and when my dad returns he won't handle it well like a man should. It got to a level my dad's brother's started beating her, they will steal from the business and accuse my mom. It got bad that one time some money got missing and they accused my mum, her only brother (may his soul rest in peace) was invited and wanted to pay back every dime but my dad's people said no out of shame. My dad allowed is family to interfere in his marriage, with time my dad's mom asked him to get another wife that my mom was too stubborn, the stubbornness been that she refused to quit her teaching job to concentrate on his businesses. So my dad got married to
another wife, this wife is always sick, she never went to my dad's farm since my dad got married to her including her children. Dad started spending on her she soon had her own children too, my mum has five. My mom saw that it was cheating on her part, she was the one doing all the farm work with her children while the other woman wasn't and she vowed to stop and start farming for herself instead.
My dad wasn't happy with that and vowed to stop paying our school fees I remember that was wen I entered ss1, he claimed the school fees was too much for him and mum footed the bill. Soon after he stopped paying for the five of us. Mom took over, now am a graduate another 400l while others are yet to get admission to sch. Now my dad has nothing all the money is gone on his second wife, and he insists my mom work on the farm for him again but she won't agree, we don't work for him too cos after working he will tell you he doesn't have money when you need to return to school. The house we are living in my mum built it and everything in it is hers. Am on a job hunt yet to get a job I finished service just before the COVID, on Sunday my younger sister called that my dad brought a truck to pack my mum's things back to her people, his problem is my mum has held the children away from him and that my mum built houses without informing him. He also complains my mum doesn't give him her salary. With all that my mum has gone through she has become so tough, we are even happy whenever she is not around, she nags all the time and still insults us even now that we are adults and wants everyone to do her bidding if you must get school fees, she says things like we are nothing without her and worthless becos we don't have a dad to take responsibility for use. we started hearing all these things since she resumed responsible. Now am back home waiting for my dad to return with the things he packed from the house to my mum's village, after selling all the lands and even the filling stations he acquired with the help of my mum he has vowed to disgrace us. He said he doesn't want my mum again including I and my siblings. I am thinking of taking him to court if he doesn't settle things amicably. I even wonder if I can see a man with a worthy character to marry after seeing all these. If there is one thing I can change about my life I will change the family I came from.

If I have the opportunity to change one thing, it gonna be my dad..

@Chawoan, so many issues need to be addressed in your family.
Your mum was made to suffer and endure humiliations for so many years, and has become so resentful and probably bitter towards everyone, including her children.
Running away from your family (finding and marrying a man) will most likely not solve the problem(s).

My emotions

My financial status

my sex activities.. . it needs reduction

There is no perfect family. Learn from the mistakes of your parents and do better.

I don't know what I would have changed. My parents are not perfect but I love them anyway. As we grew older, we spoke to them and still speak with them about things we didn't and don't like. Sometimes, they make ammends but most times, they don't. There's a possibility that your Children may in the future find faults in what you are doing now.

Forgive them. Try to talk to them about the effects of what they are doing to you. Hopedully things will get better.