Please this is for married people only.
Just got weded less than a year, hubby and I love each other but the problem now is he is always chatting or calling different ladies, just found out two months ago he is dating a lady in the neighborhood , he ended the relationship when I found out and this new year Eve he went out with his ex who I have asked him to block on chat or call. Note he will always beg and even cry when caught red handed. But will still do it again I have reported to his family before, but this going on a date with a married ex on new year Eve just off me o don't know what to do again. I have tried all what I know please help

Well this issue is very very unfortunate ,am devastated by the antics of your husband.But the question i always ask when this kind of cases come. Did you not date yourselves to note that he is an unrepentant cheat and serial womanizer.Definately some red flags would have come noticed,and i wonder why you still decided to marry him.You claim you love each other am sure you are referring to sexual love. Because if he loves you he would at least respect your newly marital union.For him to stoop so low to be ,befriending a gal in the area,then now going out on a date with his ex then married for that matter haba on new year eve for that matter.Am more confused than you are. the plain truth you are joined with an anything in skirt man. who can stoop so low to sleep with your housemaid when babies start coming or you junior sister. You should be prepared for more worse heartbreaks than what you are seeing. you made the worst choice by marrying him.What has his family got to say ,that matters alot. but if the family are wealthy and also have such erant behaviours then they can be of little help.You have to relate this findings to your own family who have to set some possible on him. your union is still too young for this kind of ugly scenerio,so yourself.You just have redefine your union with him and walk away. Hes risking your life and his ,hmmmm what if his ex husband finds out that your husband is dating his wife,what if he gets her pregnant. And she now puts his child on her husband. and the husband gets to find out.You have to salvage the situation before it is to late,before babies start coming and you are trapped in such union. you made a point that you should reason tactically "Note he will always beg and even cry when caught red handed. But will still do it again". The ball is in your court.

Ohizman73:
Well this issue is very very unfortunate ,am devastated by the antics of your husband.But the question i always ask when this kind of cases come. Did you not date yourselves to note that he is an unrepentant cheat and serial womanizer.Definately some red flags would have come noticed,and i wonder why you still decided to marry him.You claim you love each other am sure you are referring to sexual love. Because if he loves you he would at least respect your newly marital union.For him to stoop so low to be ,befriending a gal in the area,then now going out on a date with his ex then married for that matter haba on new year eve for that matter.Am more confused than you are. the plain truth you are joined with an anything in skirt man. who can stoop so low to sleep with your housemaid when babies start coming or you junior sister. You should be prepared for more worse heartbreaks than what you are seeing. you made the worst choice by marrying him.What has his family got to say ,that matters alot. but if the family are wealthy and also have such erant behaviours then they can be of little help.You have to relate this findings to your own family who have to set some possible on him. your union is still too young for this kind of ugly scenerio,so yourself.You just have redefine your union with him and walk away. Hes risking your life and his ,hmmmm what if his ex husband finds out that your husband is dating his wife,what if he gets her pregnant. And she now puts his child on her husband. and the husband gets to find out.You have to salvage the situation before it is to late,before babies start coming and you are trapped in such union. you made a point that you should reason tactically "Note he will always beg and even cry when caught red handed. But will still do it again". The ball is in your court.

thanks so much for the contribution I am thinking of involving my parents now because they are not in the know. Thanks am so down now

Ohizman73,it isn't everything that is revealed in courtship. They won't live together and so it might go on without her knowledge.

@OP, this matter tie wrapper bcoz my own advice get as e deems be. But I want you to understand that your husband is the problem and that whatever action you take will influence how this marriage will be going forward. Pls protect yourself. You are permitted to be selfish on that.


Good luck to you and may he not give you STDs.

How about your sex life, I hope you aren't starving him of sex, many married women pay little or no attention to sex in marriage and this always have negative effects on the marriage , as for the married ex ,warned her to stay away from your husband or else you'll report her to her husband , if you involve your parent ,do you think that will solve the issue? If your husband didn't listen to his family do you think he will fear your parent and listen to them? Use a wise woman tactics to make your husband stop fornicating

Missindependen0:
Please this is for married people only.
Just got weded less than a year, hubby and I love each other but the problem now is he is always chatting or calling different ladies, just found out two months ago he is dating a lady in the neighborhood , he ended the relationship when I found out and this new year Eve he went out with his ex who I have asked him to block on chat or call. Note he will always beg and even cry when caught red handed. But will still do it again I have reported to his family before, but this going on a date with a married ex on new year Eve just off me o don't know what to do again. I have tried all what I know please help

Are you serious about the bolded?

I would think a man already chasing different ladies less than a year into marriage doesnt love his wife well enough. Or perhaps he is a muslim-at-heart and he is already contemplating getting a second wife sha.

May be you should ask him why he is doing what he does because it's really strange for a newly wedded man to be acting that way.

.....lastly refer him to the news on the "fcmb-man" and let him know, that could be him in a few years time if he makes you lose the love you have for him

Atk1nson:


Are you serious about the bolded?

I would think a man already chasing different ladies less than a year into marriage doesnt love his wife well enough. Or perhaps he is a muslim-at-heart and he is already contemplating getting a second wife sha.

May be you should ask him why he is doing what he does because it's really strange for a newly wedded man to be acting that way.

.....lastly refer him to the news on the "fcmb-man" and let him know, that could be him in a few years time if he makes you lose the love you have for him

By the time he kicks her out for saying the rubbish you suggested, maybe you'll take her in as second wife.

Did you not notice his cheating nature before going ahead to tie the knot? I wanna believe you did but closed your eyes to it maybe because time is no longer on your side but now see... Just less than a year, you're already facing the heat. Is it worth the rush after all?

My only advice, go on your knees, pray and mention his name specifically, then command those things you don't want, out of his life. From strange women, the silly chats with girls, in fact anything putting a strain on your marriage, pray against them and I tell you, he'll stop. Prayer is the only way out. I mean... You've tried talking him out of it, it didn't work. So try prayers.

Didn't conduct due diligence well enough when dating

how man go dy f up like this.


Ain't married, Ain't qualified to advice i guess.

Missindependen0:
thanks so much for the contribution I am thinking of involving my parents now because they are not in the know. Thanks am so down now

Well am really disturbed that this modern day when couples are trying to strive forward. this such case comes up again and again. when such could have been avoided simply by not involving with him by tieing a marital nought.I read the contribution of some other .The same contribution of taking solace in prayers.We keep on deceiving ourselves in Nigeria with such antics. That is how a million Nigerian women are trapped in such marriages with the advice of bear all and keep praying he might change. they he never say he will change,he might is what they claim.Mind you he can never change ,he is deeply addicted to such wayward and immoral life (am talking from experience in related cases i have tried to resolve). if early in marriage he is running after different women ,when you are still youthful and beautiful,not worn out with age and babies.I believe you have not told us the true story,on how you fell for such an animal.It is either he used money to entice you.As another contributor rightly said he doesnt love you by behaving this way early in marriage. is it when the marriage has gone far and you are depressed and frustrated as he keeps hoping from one woman to another,giving you stds and battering you that he would change.Try and involve your parents so they give him an ultimatum and define his relationship with you. A meeting of the two families have to be called with you two couples present and things ironed out squarely. Things have changed in Nigeria now nobody is an underdog. With the high rate of domestic violence involving couples killing their partners over infidelity and asuch proaction is taken immediately. it is not a matter of what people say it is your safety ,health and welbeing that matters. if you cant cope you have to be bold and walkaway moreover as babies are yet to come .

Mekudi:
How about your sex life, I hope you aren't starving him of sex, many married women pay little or no attention to sex in marriage and this always have negative effects on the marriage , as for the married ex ,warned her to stay away from your husband or else you'll report her to her husband , if you involve your parent ,do you think that will solve the issue? If your husband didn't listen to his family do you think he will fear your parent and listen to them? Use a wise woman tactics to make your husband stop fornicating

HMMMMM forget such men even if their wives give them all types of styles ,including doggie ,anal and allsex they demand. they dont mind the next minute to stoop so low to have sex with an orange hawker in the street.I have come across a man whose wife has all facially and all curves .gives him all sex,when we sat him down on why he cheats on his beautiful wife,he was crying it is the devils work and begs for repentance. only for us to hear another sex escapade of him with his neighbours teenage daughter,house maid and neighbours wife,then a widow. in the end the marriage collapsed. only God knows the whereabouts of the couple. the devil can deliver such man ,it is better for a woman not to fall victim of such man in the first place. it is worse than a nightmare.

Missindependen0:
Please this is for married people only.
Just got weded less than a year, hubby and I love each other but the problem now is he is always chatting or calling different ladies, just found out two months ago he is dating a lady in the neighborhood , he ended the relationship when I found out and this new year Eve he went out with his ex who I have asked him to block on chat or call. Note he will always beg and even cry when caught red handed. But will still do it again I have reported to his family before, but this going on a date with a married ex on new year Eve just off me o don't know what to do again. I have tried all what I know please help

I totally agree with Ohizman73...I am so sorry about what you're going through, I can totally relate. He doesn't respect you nor the vows you both made before God. And if I asked you, the signs were there before you agreed to marry him. He's a broken man and not contented with what he has, him changing his ways will be difficult because it has become a habit. This is why he would cry when caught. I won't advise you to leave your marriage but he needs to get help. Plus he keeps getting away with these things because he knows you'd always offer forgiveness, which is not bad. But he needs to get help. He had no business committing to a marriage when he could not let go his ex, why didn't he marry her? I pray that you receive wisdom to know how to deal with this issue and that your peace and happiness be restored. And if I may add, please protect yourself as you don't want to be treating STDs/STIs especially if he's sleeping around. You owe that to yourself.

Momoreoluwa90:


I totally agree with Ohizman73...I am so sorry about what you're going through, I can totally relate. He doesn't respect you nor the vows you both made before God. And if I asked you, the signs were there before you agreed to marry him. He's a broken man and not contented with what he has, him changing his ways will be difficult because it has become a habit. This is why he would cry when caught. I won't advise you to leave your marriage but he needs to get help. Plus he keeps getting away with these things because he knows you'd always offer forgiveness, which is not bad. But he needs to get help. He had no business committing to a marriage when he could not let go his ex, why didn't he marry her? I pray that you receive wisdom to know how to deal with this issue and that your peace and happiness be restored. And if I may add, please protect yourself as you don't want to be treating STDs/STIs especially if he's sleeping around. You owe that to yourself.

.

That is no marriage,but a heart break motel. that is how you ladies deceive urself after making the worst decision of her life after such an animal deceives you into such marriage. then you now say she should not opt out before it results to these. before that woman cut off her cheating husband dick. she was fed up and frustrated with his serial cheating hawker,housemaid and all. which help does the man need again deliverance in a church,a cele one were he is chained and floged so these fornicating demons would flee. she has to treat stds ,no amount of protection.for a married woman wud she now deny her so called animal husband sex and tell him to use a condom. then the husband would say she denies him sex because she insists on him using a condom. you ladies never learn and later cry blue murder. the moment during our courtship ,i noticed my so called fiance was a serial flirt i let go of her facial looks and curves and moved a head to get my heart beat.

The last card. A meeting of both families have to take place and the matter tabled of course your husband has to face the panel and his ex and her husband. And a last Aburi meeting held in effort to finding a way to redeem your so called marriage. Ok give him a last chance to put his dick in check oh.That is all i have to say . best of luck. but i have sinced concluded ,the man you call ur husband is addicted to anything in skirts even a woman old enuff to be his grandmother. nothing can redeem him of his fornicating ways take him to TB joshua,Oyedepo,Adeboye,Kumuyi,oyakhilome and all ,he would continue even worst. a womans prayer is not to be hooked with such a man. there are also woman of his nature.So unfourtunate this new year.haba

He isnt matured for marriage yet

this is a related matter . this one is a wife beater .read the advice given ,then use that to analyse your case . (https://www.nairaland.com/6342936/man-went-viral-beating-wife )

Many men passed through this stage as a newly wed man. It arises as a result of still wanting to conquer or not fully grasping the concept of marriage yet.
Some get over it and realise it's not worth it whilst some never stop and continue till it destroys them.
The question is which category will your husband fall into?