Hello Nairalanders, I decided to bring this thread here to seek for your opinion.

Actually, I have a friend, 17 year old precisely, he is done with high school, child of a single mum that later got married to another man. That's to say the boy is living with his step father and mum.

Just today, the boy talked to me passionately via Facebook, he was sounding very depressed and angry, according to him, he is tired of staying at home doing nothing all day, and also, he has needs that has to be taken care of financially. He decided to look for a work and engage himself while waiting for JAMB form, he found a work and decided to proceed but his mum won't let him.

According to him, he his phone less, imagine, even after high school, his mum won't let him use one, he said his mum said he doesn't have any needs to fit financially hence he shouldn't work.

The boy is terribly depressed, his mates are working and making money and he is sitting at home idle, during nothing, and restrictions put on him, he complained to me that his mum wants to know virtually every thing he does, he is so depressed to have such an overbearing mum, some one that doesn't understand him, I even suggested he talks to her calmly and tell her the reason he wants to work, major reason is to get a phone, he told me he can't tell her such as phone is irrelevant to her. She doesn't want to see him with one.

People in the house, this boy is turning 18 next year, what his mum is doing, is it protection or restrictions? Is it right to try gaining total control of his life without giving him options? Will this stop sooner?

He is 17...There is still plenty of time for freedom and independence so he should stop being in a hurry to grow up.

17 year old or 71?

Since he is done with secondary school, the mother can relax her hold and dialogue with him more.

Tell him why she doesn't want him to have a phone, listen to his reason why he wants one, give stipends for monthly allowance, look at the part-time job he wants to pick up etc.

He might want out of the house because he is not comfortable as per step-child.

She should engage him.

bukatyne:
17 year old or 71?

Since he is done with secondary school, the mother can relax her hold and dialogue with him more.

Tell him why she doesn't want him to have a phone, listen to his reason why he wants one, give stipends for monthly allowance, look at the part-time job he wants to pick up etc.

He might want out of the house because he is not comfortable as per step-child.

She should engage him.

Who likes to suffer, if at all there is any allowances, what will prompt him to opt for suffering? No penny o
And who told Nigerians that age is a medium for many things to be achieved?
Just look at Rema, the musician that made it at age 17, Regina Daniels at 16, why didn't their parents ask them to be 25 before they can start a career? ��
That's how Nigerians keep retrogressing instead of progressing, just because of mentality. ��.
I don't support the mother a bit.

That guy will soon become very wild when he gains freedom after much restriction.

The best way to obtain freedom...pass your exams and move on to Study.
His reason of wantimg a job is absurd... Some people sell their kidneys in India for an iPhone.
I don't like my kids working before they gain admission. Some children when the earn money can't focus on school.

In this day and age you will find 20 year old millionaires so you can imagine the kind of motivation these teens have. The only f-up is to deprive the boy of a phone. That's just pure evil. At his age, he should be exploring the digital side opposite sex inside chat boxes or developing an application or whatever suits his hunger.

At 17, a year after I finished high school, I was so busy studying software engineering at NIIT also in my spare time I was doing so much swimming that when I was 19, after thinking in retrospect, I thought I was going to have low sperm count. Good times

You know how mom's are...she's just scared he'll turn out to be a badass and that is most likely going to happen. I mean, look at the 'I don't go out, my mummy, my mummy' girls. Na them dey spread am pass.

Let him ask his mom to put him in a vocation school or to intern for a tech company. That's the best option for him now. If the mom now refuses education for her child, then something is wrong somewhere.

Elistho:
Hello Nairalanders, I decided to bring this thread here to seek for your opinion.

Actually, I have a friend, 17 year old precisely, he is done with high school, child of a single mum that later got married to another man. That's to say the boy is living with his step father and mum.

Just today, the boy talked to me passionately via Facebook, he was sounding very depressed and angry, according to him, he is tired of staying at home doing nothing all day, and also, he has needs that has to be taken care of financially. He decided to look for a work and engage himself while waiting for JAMB form, he found a work and decided to proceed but his mum won't let him.

According to him, he his phone less, imagine, even after high school, his mum won't let him use one, he said his mum said he doesn't have any needs to fit financially hence he shouldn't work.

The boy is terribly depressed, his mates are working and making money and he is sitting at home idle, during nothing, and restrictions put on him, he complained to me that his mum wants to know virtually every thing he does, he is so depressed to have such an overbearing mum, some one that doesn't understand him, I even suggested he talks to her calmly and tell her the reason he wants to work, major reason is to get a phone, he told me he can't tell her such as phone is irrelevant to her. She doesn't want to see him with one.

People in the house, this boy is turning 18 next year, what his mum is doing, is it protection or restrictions? Is it right to try gaining total control of his life without giving him options? Will this stop sooner?

His parents should just register him 4 lessons that will keep him busy so that he wont see his mates who are working.he is just 17,song young people who start working this early may loose intrest 4 education when money enter their eyes.his mom is very experienced and knows what she is avoiding.and as 4 the fone isue,he should 4get it 4 now,when he enter higher institution his mom will beg him to use phone because of communication.pls,he should listen 2 his mom so dat he will not end up like someone i know.thanks

His parents should just register him 4 lessons that will keep him busy so that he wont see his mates who are working.he is just 17,some young people who start working this early may loose intrest 4 education when money enter their eyes.his mom is very experienced and knows what she is avoiding.and as 4 the fone isue,he should 4get it 4 now,when he enter higher institution his mom will beg him to use phone because of communication.pls,he should listen 2 his mom so dat he will not end up like someone i know.thanks

Saintmary:
Let him ask his mom to put him in a vocation school or to intern for a tech company. That's the best option for him now. If the mom now refuses education for her child, then something is wrong somewhere.

According to my findings, his mum isn't financially fit to enrol him in any of the above.

Elistho:
According to my findings, his mum isn't financially fit to enrol him in any of the above.

Let him ask first, she will find something for him out of embarrassment.
Peace

Identity status...Democratic parents who encourage adolescents to participate in family decision,his own decision making foster identity achievement.The parents should encourage and talk to him before crisis arises.Autonomy verses shame and doubt stage.His parents should go ahead and allow him do it provided is d right thing to do.

Give me the mum's number lemme talk to her cos i no kno watin i wan talk again lolzz

but on a serious note, problem no dey finish tell ur friend to go and be calming down

lot of single mother mostly birth and trian their male childrens to grow up and become weaklings but trian their female childrens as good and submissive wives.
Read it again and relate it with this topic.

mutter:
The best way to obtain freedom...pass your exams and move on to Study.
His reason of wantimg a job is absurd... Some people sell their kidneys in India for an iPhone.
I don't like my kids working before they gain admission. Some children when the earn money can't focus on school.

That's how you train kids that at 35 can't reason properly or utilise there lives still dependent old babies on parents

Many Nigerian parents always make this mistake, thereby raising unmatured adults

Abroad a 17year old is already knowing where he is heading
Some are already handling great stuffs

Raphael Nadal won his first grandslam tennis championship at the age of 15, today in his thirties he has achieved great record's

Same with Venus and Serena Williams. They started winning great tennis championships at age 17


But Nigerian parents can't raise up kids like that because of overprotective Ness

That's why the country is messed up

By God's grace my kids should be handling tangible stuffs latest age 17 so early 20s they are already high flyers

NoLotty7:
lot of single mother mostly birth and trian their male childrens to grow up and become weaklings but trian their female childrens as good and submissive wives.
Read it again and relate it with this topic.

Exactly