This Noblezone Mock Interview with buhari
I will build more jails! – Buhari

Noblezone: Good day Sir, I am Noblezone from Nairaland.

Buhari: Nairaland? What is that?

Noblezone: It is an online forum where Nigerians both home and abroad come together to discuss.

Buhari: Okay, so what can I do for you?

Noblezone: Sir, I am wondering if you can spare a few minutes for an interview.

Buhari: What do you want to know?

Noblezone: The elections are here with us and there is this fear of violence especially for some northern states and many are attributing this fear due to your comments about the election.

Buhari: Violence is normal, if the election is rigged, violence will be the natural response. You can’t blame any body.

Noblezone: Sir, but the courts are there for anybody to seek redress if they are not satisfied with …,

Buhari: (Cuts in) Which courts are you talking about? I said which courts? They are all corrupt and nobody with his senses should bother with the courts. I am speaking from experience. But their time has come, they all should be ready for me. As soon as I take over, all this nonsense will stop.

Noblezone: Sir, you are speaking with all certainty about you taking over, but the election is yet to take place. Why are you so sure?

Buhari: Are you in this country at all? Have you not heard of the BB wildfire? It has spread across Nigeria to the extent that Yoruba, Igbo, Ijaw, Igala, Biron, Efik, etc are all shouting “Sai Buhari”. You needed to be at the rallies, and see the whole of Nigeria almost going crazy whenever I appear.

Noblezone: but sir, those crowd you are mentioning has so far been a Northern thing and besides, you cant really use the crowds to measure the out come of the elections…,

Buhari: (cuts in): You must be a PDP agent, as far as I am concerned, this election is over. The ballot box is a formality. I have won already and if they rig it, it will be fire…,

Noblezone: Let us go back to the elections. The INEC chairman is insisting that they are ready for a free and fair polls and has asked all Nigerians to join hands with him, which areas are you suspecting the rigging to come from?

Buhari: You cannot trust this PDP government. I know that they are going to rig and we are ready for them.

[/b]Noblezone: You are so sure that you are going to win, and you are so sure that they are going to rig, so what if Jonathan wins without rigging?

[b]Buhari: (Angry) I said it that you are a member of the PDP and I must jail you. Jonathan cannot win this election, even his wife and children are going to vote for me. The truth is this, if Jonathan is declared winner, that is the proof of the rigging. And believe me, Nigeria will burn.

[/b]Noblezone: You mean you can never accept defeat? You said if you loose that you wont go to the courts and we thought you meant accepting defeat but now….

[b]Buhari: In Nigeria, going to court means accepting defeat. I tried it 2 times so I know what I am saying. Not going to court does not mean accepting defeat. I wont go to court, but I wont accept the defeat. Nigeria will burn. Simple.
Noblezone: Sir, you have been singing this ”Nigeria will burn, Nigeria will burn”, if Nigeria burn to ashes, which country will you then lead as the President?

Buhari: I told you that you are PDP member. This your questions are more than what they asked us the Presidential debate. I have warned you, I will jail all of you.

Noblezone: Yes, talking about the debate, why didn’t you attend the one organized by BON?

Buhari: BON is corrupt and BON is equal to PDP, once I took over, I will jail all of them.

Noblezone: Sir, from the way you are talking, it is as if there are no good people in this country at all.

Buhari: No you are wrong there. Nigerians are good people. Only the PDP is bad and corrupt.

Noblezone: but you have castigated the courts, the INEC and now BON.

Buhari: Yes, PDP is evil. BON is PDP, court is PDP, NTA is PDP, police is PDP, NEPA is PDP, INEC is PDP, many things and many people are PDP. Even you, you are PDP and I will jail you all.

Noblezone: What of other groups in the opposition?

Buhari: Which opposition are you talking about? The only opposition in this country as at now, is BB and CPC.

Noblezone: What about ACN, ANPP and all the others.

Buhari: Stop deceiving yourself. You see, ACN, ANPP are both PDP.

Noblezone: How? Why do you say so?

Buhari: If they are not PDP, their presidential flag bearers would have stepped down for. The fact that they are insisting on contesting shows that they are not in the opposition. They are also PDP. But mark my word, I will surely win this election except if PDP rigs it.

Noblezone: Would it not had been better if the opposition come together to join forces and so to have a solid base. Many are of the opinion that without such a common front, that Jonathan will still win.

Buhari: Who are the many people you are referring to? I said who are they? Listen to me, I want their names because such people are corrupt and they must be jailed. And better warn the ACN and the ANPP people to be careful, if not I will jail all of them when I take over. Why cant they step down for me?

Noblezone: Sir, talking about who to step down, have you ever thought about yourself stepping down for someone like Ribadu or ….

Buhari: (visibly angry) I have now confirmed that you are a member of PDP and in two weeks time, I will jail you. Me step down for somebody else? The future of this country is only safe in my hands. Without me, Nigeria is finished. I will rather die than step down for somebody.

Noblezone: Sir, you are speaking as if you just came into Nigeria: yet, you have been here since independence. You saw the first coup, you fought the war, you saw The coups against Gowon and Mohammed, you led the coup that destroyed the second republic, before your partners removed you. What I mean is, you have been here all this while, how come you are talking as If you have not been part of the whole thing. Some of us are thinking that the younger generation should take over.

Buhari: You tried in telling me history, but the history is not yet complete. You are right about the fact that I have been there from the beginning, but out of the 50 years of independence, how many years did I rule? Only about a year and half. That is too small for somebody of my caliber. I have not completed my turn and I must complete it. Go and check how many years Gowon, IBB and Abacha stayed. Even Obasanjo came back from prison to complete his turn. These people are not better than me. I need at least 8 years before I will start thinking of stepping down.

Noblezone: But you are not getting younger anymore…,

Buhari: (cuts in) I see that you are a PDP agent sent to stop me. You are calling me old right? Wait…. (Buhari grabs Noblezone by the neck and pushed him to the wall. He was about to hit him with his other hand, but Noblezone dodged and escaped from his grip. Noblezone quickly picked his bag and escape through the window, he could hear Buhari yelling, “I will jail you, I will jail you all”)

this guy is crazy! make Buhari catch you first.

@OP, Na you sabi.

At least, he did not ask for expo before your yeye mock interview, ,.,.,lol.

lmao!

mogentle:

@OP, Na you sabi.

At least, he did not ask for expo before your yeye mock interview, ,.,.,lol.

What exactly are you talking about?

gwuraiyke:

this guy is crazy! make Buhari catch you first.

From whcih aspect of this write did you deduce your claims?
See, one thing I am sure about anyone born into this earth is that he/she will die of something one day. Buhari catching me will only make my exit more dramatic. LOL!

Haha!!

hahahaha, dis is very interesting. dis interview looks so BUHARI.

As the CPC/ACN talks collapse, I cant but remember this "interview".

noblezone: This Noblezone Mock Interview with buhari
I will build more jails! – Buhari

Noblezone: Good day Sir, I am Noblezone from Nairaland.

Buhari: Nairaland? What is that?

Noblezone: It is an online forum where Nigerians both home and abroad come together to discuss.

Buhari: Okay, so what can I do for you?

Noblezone: Sir, I am wondering if you can spare a few minutes for an interview.

Buhari: What do you want to know?

Noblezone: The elections are here with us and there is this fear of violence especially for some northern states and many are attributing this fear due to your comments about the election.

Buhari: Violence is normal, if the election is rigged, violence will be the natural response. You can’t blame any body.

Noblezone: Sir, but the courts are there for anybody to seek redress if they are not satisfied with …,

Buhari: (Cuts in) Which courts are you talking about? I said which courts? They are all corrupt and nobody with his senses should bother with the courts. I am speaking from experience. But their time has come, they all should be ready for me. As soon as I take over, all this nonsense will stop.

Noblezone: Sir, you are speaking with all certainty about you taking over, but the election is yet to take place. Why are you so sure?

Buhari: Are you in this country at all? Have you not heard of the BB wildfire? It has spread across Nigeria to the extent that Yoruba, Igbo, Ijaw, Igala, Biron, Efik, etc are all shouting “Sai Buhari”. You needed to be at the rallies, and see the whole of Nigeria almost going crazy whenever I appear.

Noblezone: but sir, those crowd you are mentioning has so far been a Northern thing and besides, you cant really use the crowds to measure the out come of the elections…,

Buhari: (cuts in): You must be a PDP agent, as far as I am concerned, this election is over. The ballot box is a formality. I have won already and if they rig it, it will be fire…,

hahahaha..... 1000000000likes

It was just like yesterday.

Are you born to do crap?