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|Want A Better Relationship? Do THIS! by BalogunIdowu(m): 12:41pm On Jan 20|
Finally, here comes my first post in 2021 even though I have had it in my archives since I can't remember and i hope it'll help us achieve a better relationship with all those we are connected with this year. Enjoy!
By relationship, I transcends beyond the marital affairs meaning it could be a relationship with your employees, colleagues, friends, students siblings and of course your spouse. However, the commonest people talk about is either 'boy/girl friend' even more than spouses and I have wondered severally why does this always be the case. You'd hear like 'men are scum', 'a man will ways cheat no matter how much you love him', 'i can't spend anything on someone without benefits' and the list goes on.
All these from my perspective I believe the foundation of any relationship, the purpose on which it is initiated goes a long way. Sometimes, 'assumption' is such a deadly disease that can eventually affect people's relationship with one another. Making conclusion that all men or women are this or that due to experience(s) we've encountered is disastrous. To keep a good relationship, you need to be true and intentional about it. A relationship based on pretence is building a foundation that is likely to collapse the fence in the future.
Make your relationships with friends and colleagues crystal clear, let it be defined with purpose. Doesn't have to be written out like 'goals' but can be deduced with how close or the kind of discussions (personal, family, challenges, etc) you both engage in. No matter how much you think you've known a person, particularly the opposite gender especially if it's someone you hope to get along with in nearest Future, they'll only tell you little that feels to you like you've known all about them. However, when they begin to tell you things without asking, your relationships is getting close but this don't just happen. They must have found you to be worth sharing concerns, or other personal things with. This might not be totally true in all cases though.
To reiterate again is that relationship in this context is that which anyone could have to another (friends, colleagues, employees, family, spouses etc). Why do spouses cheat? Why do employees don't do their work well? Why do you have misunderstanding with a friend and go around exposing their secrets with them? Why do you not see the need to help your colleagues when you have the means? The actions leading to these questions don't just start in a day on meeting someone, they are summation of how healthy the relationship have been.
The underlying foundation for any good relationship is intention. Are you his friends because he doesn't mind on spending for his peers? Are you friends with her for 'benefit'? You want to marry him because of his handsomeness alone? And the list goes on. Don't get me twisted, you could have a good relationship based on anything you desire. However what makes a relationship worthy is THIS but not limited to it. THIS is an acronym and explained below:
1. Trustworthy in action: In my previous article 'is trust a mirage?' (https://balogunidowu./2019/10/13/is-trust-a-mirage/) I talked about the significance of trust in our lives. Something is wrong if trust exists not. I strongly believe our lives are incomplete without trust even though I understand that this have made us question it's relevance based on experiences, deceptions, etc from others. Trust like 'respect' is not demanded but earned. If someone asks me 'can s/he trust me?' I am always of the opinion that my answer whatever it is, is not as significant as whom the person have perceived me to be over time of being friends, colleagues etc. I shouldn't also be misunderstood, you may trust people is certain areas and not in others. For instance, you can trust someone with your finance but never with females; you can trust someone with keeping secrets but never with completing a task to time amongst others.
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