Avast:


And he should also buy her a car too so that the okada man would know her level don change

No, so she can gift it to the okada man for job well done.

Avast:

He said someone is illiterate and dirty, yet his wife chose to have sex with him.

That speaks more about the lowlife behaviour of his wife than his abilities. A woman will have sex when she wants to have sex with someone. No mountain, ocean or valley will stop her from having that sex. I am sure she wasn't after the okada man's certificates anyway; at least not the academic ones.

Avast:

I don't know why he thinks he is better than the okada man.

Maybe because he doesn't have sex with other people's wives?

One thing I do know is that the op seems the type that cannot make decisions and has little character. His wife seems to be bullying him in that marriage; sleeping around and still extracting apologies from him. And he's still wondering what to do about it. "I caught my wife cheating/thinking of cheating what should I do?" has only one answer. Throw her out and get DNA tests done for all previous kids. There is no need to come to NL for that.

guy,
you better forget her and that marriage

Bros carry your kids go do DNA first.

sahedorf:
I want mature advise only and kindly permit any grammatical blunders, please don't abuse me as nobody is holy.
Lemme get straight to the point, I met my wife 8years ago while in Uni. We dated for 4 years before she got pregnant and we married legally afterwards. During our dating years, she had never showed any signs of cheating nor had any social life but got herself in a messy situation once before with her ex.
Fast forward to during our early years married, I discovered she get less interested in talking with me nor ever discuss anything about herself with me. I always on several occasions tried to talk to her, at least to bring a conversation but she's always less interested. I'm always lonely most of the time and I felt maybe she's trying to adjust to motherhood, and also, I've read lot of stuffs about new mother's neglecting their husbands. Due to this reason, I started to talking to lot of my friends girls whom I have always regarded as friend or sister to some extent - making sure that they don't invade my personal space because of my wife. Before I forget this, I don't password my phone's, unknown to me that my wife was always reading my chats with this girls each time I'm asleep.
I have never cheated on my wife because I love her dearly, I dislike all forms of cheating even while in school when I have plenty chances.
Lemme talk briefly about my job, my job isn't that ideal but it's paying my bills and it had taken almost 70% of my time daily and because of the distance of my house and tfare in lagos, I decided to be squatting with my friend but goes home during the weekend. I discussed this decision with my wife - who was very supportive from the beginning.
Furthermore, we had our second child last year and I tried to reach out to my family anytime I'm free but most times I'm always occupied at work.
Now the discussion - late last year, I just decided to check her phone one night and discovered she had password it. Wondering why she did and made me more curious to check her phone more. I discovered she had deleted so many chats but mistakenly left one and it was some guy naked video. My first thought was maybe it was those useless guys, I didn't take it serious because I've never doubted her nor check her activities either at home or at her shop. Again, her behavior last year December got me worried, she doesn't look at my face anymore. If we had not being sharing room - I'm sure she won't have even bothered to say good morning, she doesn't cook for me nor have time for her kids. She's always on the phone secretly, anytime I asked her who she's speaking with - she will say her mum or brother. I decided not to bother myself with her behavior.
Fast forward to last month, I found out she's been having affairs with a guy who I later discovered was her okada man. I was broken and couldn't believe such betrayal and dropping so low to cheat with an illiterate and dirty person.
Her Family has been begging me and my parent wants me to forgive her because of our kids who are still very young and the little one is still breastfeeding.
How can I forgive and forget this whole issues because she's been having this affair for more than 4 months and has had sex with this guy twice already and the guy also has her naked videos and pictures. How can I forgive her because I love her so much even after the whole issue and can I ever forget this incident.