The following questions were set in a GED examination
These are said to be genuine answers from 16 year olds.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, dead sheep, and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed?
A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire

Q. What causes the tides in the oceans?
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight

Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed

Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?
A. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election

Q. What are steroids?
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q, What happens to your body as you age?
A. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental

Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes
A. Premature death

Q. What is artificial insemination?
A. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow

Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?
A. Keep it in the cow (Simple, but brilliant)

Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?
A. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A, E, I,O,U.

Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie

Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby

Q. What is the most common form of birth control?
A. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium (That would work)

Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome

Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor. (Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)

Q. What is a terminal illness?
A. When you are sick at the airport. (Irrefutable)

Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight (brilliant)

will start reading when the sun torch down
next month

   

Im so disappointed at the poster

@Nich and Ode Remo,
Sorry guys, I can't be of help here. Any explanation will remove the punch lines and it will no longer be a joke.
Where you don't understand the same, ignore it and move on - knowing fully well that not all jokes can be understood by everybody. this is because our perceptions and understandings of the said jokes are influenced by various factors of which our background and exposure plays a very important part.
there are some jokes here I do not claim to understand - I just move on.
Hope your day has been cool. Cheers
Ps:@ Baby.me - Sorry, I can't help you out of your disappointment for the same reasons as afore said

looool, I found some answers funny

lol

Funny?

^^ aunty

how far now?

longest time!!

Na so we c am o
ow ur side na

Na so we c am o
ow ur side na

Let me be of some assistance.I cannot claim to knw d tots runnin thru d kids minds wen dey gave dis answers to d questions.
1.Seasons but d kid answered seasonings used 4 cooking.Instead of d typical summer,winter,spring and autumn.
2.Wrote flirtation instead of filtration and so was obligated to define flirtatn in his/her own terms.
3.Dew:Was referrin to sweat on d skin.
4.Dt's just a silly ans.
5.Well endowed-means rich.
6.Wen a guy's decision is taken,den it is certain dt they wuld have sex.
7.Steroids-Wrong misconception of d word (stair rods).
8.I have to admit I didn't undastand d joke abt age,bowels and intercontinental.
9.Dt S̶̲̥̅ђU̶̲̥̅̊Ł̶̷͡d̶̲̥̅̊ be easy.
10.Disease nt end result.
11.Artificial inseminatn can only be done to a cow and not a bull.Also means dt d farmer took d rites of d cow and bull to mate and did it wit d bull.
12.Sheer stupidity.Making the cow uncomfortable.
13.Bowels-(vowels:a,e,i,o,u)
14.A fib is a lie and ula signifies small.So fib-ula means a lie dt is small.
15.Varicose-Very close.
16.Condominium:meant to say condom.
17.Was tinkin of Julius caeser.
18.Same as above.
19.At d airport terminal,getting sick is terminal sickness just like getting car sick wen in d car.
20.Be -9,Be -8(brilli-

sweet and funny

feelgood:

@Nich and Ode Remo,
Sorry guys, I can't be of help here. Any explanation will remove the punch lines and it will no longer be a joke.
Where you don't understand the same, ignore it and move on - knowing fully well that not all jokes can be understood by everybody. this is because our perceptions and understandings of the said jokes are influenced by various factors of which our background and exposure plays a very important part.
there are some jokes here I do not claim to understand - I just move on.
Hope your day has been cool. Cheers
Ps:@ Baby.me - Sorry, I can't help you out of your disappointment for the same reasons as afore said

nice points & i agree with you 140%.

@ Ubiero,

great job done.

having said all, OP biko give us some more to keep the thread alive kinda!   

Dyt, Efe & baby.me how y'all doing? 'tis been ages!   

lancaster, how market? 

@ Ubiero,
Great job - however, while a number of your perception are different from what I intended, I did find them funny too.
Just goes to show that one's perception of a joke (or statement for that matter), determines their reaction too.
Cheers

Cute joke

Damn funny~

I believe weed is very cheap nw and d postr has unlimited access to em

Lool! Crazy jokes, kids surely do (and write!) the darndest deeds

@ubiero, i think in #6, the kid had ''erection'' in mind (instead of ''election), lol. . . .

@tuwaski, shut up, get lost.