₦airaland Forum

This guy is definitely a leech and I'm sure he met his match, imagine complaining about house chores in a house u don't have a stake and no income to support the lady, it's obvious u didn't even like the woman, stop claiming in the name of love, u wanted to feed off her cus u perceived her desperate and u are not, u got what u deserved.

Acidosis:
Lol. You must have read too many stories about Abuja ladies Good to know you've seen your mistakes and prepared to rewrite your story. Doesn't matter what anyone says about your choice to relocate (even though we know your motives), but living with her has exposed issues you probably would never have known from a distant relationship.

But here is my advice: continue to play the role of a domestic staff if things are so bad right now. Do your cab hustle alongside and don't stop applying for job opportunities. Do this for, e.g. 6 months and if at the end of 6 months, you still can't land a good job, take whatever you've saved up from your domestic role/cab work and move back to Lagos.

A timeline should guide your choice of where to go/live at this point. The cab hustle is to help you save up while the domestic staff job is meant to reset your senses.

Hahaha, Lol at domestic staff job aka houseboy to reset your senses, Una go kill person with laugh for Nairaland.com

I'm sure if we had advised you before you took this move you and those other simps on here wud have called us haters
Just do your house husby job in peace bro and enjoy your cohabitation
God EPP you

Bizriz:
Your relationship is still at the early stage and occasional tiffs are not unexpected. I advise you communicate more, pray together and bro, “your ego is not your amigo”. I don’t see anything wrong in you washing your clothes or even doing the dishes if she’s at work. Would you rather she came back home from work and did the dishes?

You also need to pray on your own and understand that if it’s not God’s plan that you end up together, it’s perfectly fine. Why worry when you can pray? Tell it to God

Pray to who? After fornication? The way modern people treat God these days is amazing! You will misbehave and then expect God to clean your mess just like that! Without showing true repentance, first thing he needs to do is get out of that house ,then God can answer his prayers.

U are in your late 30s!!!! u had a job in Lagos, u resigned and relocated to Abuja because of "so called love" to live with a woman who is working but u dont have a job and think u will just get a job in Abj, just like that!!! U must have been really day dreaming!!! Clap for yourself u are doing well o!!!

really

Switchman:
Yes you are right I actually accepted her cos then I was seeing anyone and secondly am in my late 30s too and I felt this is a good opportunity to set my self up in the family way but the way she changed overnight due to the fact that the job search wasn't going the way we expected. Na money be man true true.

Do not run away from Abuja, find a hustle that will always keep you away from home during the day no matter how small the pay might be.... Talk to people and ask for help, you don't know when you are having conversations with Angel in human form. If your car is still in good shape try cab services... if not, drop it. You can't handle both depression and car liability at the same time. Make new friends, opportunities are waiting for you if you are not too close minded.... Don't fight the lady now and don't by mistake impregnate her.

It is well with you bro.

Acidosis:
Lol. You must have read too many stories about Abuja ladies Good to know you've seen your mistakes and prepared to rewrite your story. Doesn't matter what anyone says about your choice to relocate (even though we know your motives), but living with her has exposed issues you probably would never have known from a distant relationship.

But here is my advice: continue to play the role of a domestic staff if things are so bad right now. Do your cab hustle alongside and don't stop applying for job opportunities. Do this for, e.g. 6 months and if at the end of 6 months, you still can't land a good job, take whatever you've saved up from your domestic role/cab work and move back to Lagos.

A timeline should guide your choice of where to go/live at this point. The cab hustle is to help you save up while the domestic staff job is meant to reset your senses.

the best advice you so far to the op. Thump up

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Start playing sure odds.. and begin to keep food on the table.,to be frank boys are getting richer on top betting. Ask farindoki and wooozzzabets n emir of ekiti.
On serious note...
Sit her down n talk like adults as par the insult aspect.. also make u find small business start even if na asùn

What of the car u were using back in Lagos? Don't tell Me u sold it off!

McSquishi:
You described doing house chores as “being reduced to house help”... reduced is not usually the word choice when you have no issues with the position.

I agree that belittling and degrading words are never ok. It even rises to the level of verbal abuse if it is consistently occurring... you can have a talk with her and let her know that you understand she’s disappointed in the fact that you haven’t lived up to her expectations yet but she should be patient with you and communicate with you in a way that doesn’t rise to the level of disrespect.

u have an intelligent brain

Good woman
Wife material
5,000 yards

Annitakome:
This guy is definitely a leech and I'm sure he met his match, imagine complaining about house chores in a house u don't have a stake and no income to support the lady, it's obvious u didn't even like the woman, stop claiming in the name of love, u wanted to feed off her cus u perceived her desperate and u are not, u got what u deserved.

He no suppose to have first cohabit with a Woman who he isn't married to, we should learn to detest what is bad before the creators eye

Switchman:
Yes you are right I actually accepted her cos then I was seeing anyone and secondly am in my late 30s too and I felt this is a good opportunity to set my self up in the family way but the way she changed overnight due to the fact that the job search wasn't going the way we expected. Na money be man true true.

Why didn’t you tell her to resign her job and move to Lagos to join instead of you doing the opposite? .. When red pills tells you simps to lead your relationship and run away from evening newspapers, you won’t listen. Well now you’ve learnt the hard way. The lady resents you because you’re a simp and normally, ladies treats simps who’re of no use to them anymore brutally.. Your only option is to focus on your cab work, save up and move back to Lagos before she throws you out like a rag.. Btw, this one you’re always at home, I wonder if you still got your car abi you done sell am too?

The mistake you made was moving in with a woman you aren't married to and she having or owning 90% of the apartment's right. It would be better if a woman moves in with you , because even if you're broke, she can never rub it on your face. Anyways, the option here is to simply move back to Lagos. At least here, the chances of getting a job or side hustle are vast, except you don't want to work or you're simply selective. Abuja doesn't offer job placements easily. The jobs there are limited and mostly federal government agencies. Next time, carefully think through a decision before making it. Don't always be in a hurry to make hasty decisions. Weigh the pros and cons. It is time that reveals the true identity of everyone because people pretend a lot. I wish you well.[. author=Switchman post=100053793]Three months pass and am already feeling the heat, for now just wanna play the fool and double my hustle without letting her know my plans and at the slightest opportunity I move. Nothing as sickening as having a nagging wife[/quote]

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Man!, that is one of the challenges of life, it is not the end it will not break you rather it will strengthen you irrespective of your religion beliefs, 7days fasting is all you need. Ask the higher power to guide you out of this, surely you will be shown a way out in between these few days fasting, all you need is your FAITH.

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

.

byinks:
Hmmm....the dude needs an EXIT Plan...a very fast one !

You are very correct.

Acidosis:
Lol. You must have read too many stories about Abuja ladies Good to know you've seen your mistakes and prepared to rewrite your story. Doesn't matter what anyone says about your choice to relocate (even though we know your motives), but living with her has exposed issues you probably would never have known from a distant relationship.

But here is my advice: continue to play the role of a domestic staff if things are so bad right now. Do your cab hustle alongside and don't stop applying for job opportunities. Do this for, e.g. 6 months and if at the end of 6 months, you still can't land a good job, take whatever you've saved up from your domestic role/cab work and move back to Lagos.

A timeline should guide your choice of where to go/live at this point. The cab hustle is to help you save up while the domestic staff job is meant to reset your senses.

God bless you for this mind-resetting comment. If after the op gets this kind of advice, with specific timelines and refuses to transform his life, then he should blame no one.

Big ups acidiosis

Switchman.



You were wrong in all ramifications.


She had every right to nag.


You fvcked up. We will not judge her , sorry to burst your bubbles.

Lol.....laughing in Spanish

aroundtheearth:
Abeg, shift. Depressed ko. He got himself into the mess he's in. It's nobody's fault he moved in with her with no job and no money saved either.

The same way you should've read my comment and passed. It's not your place to police anyone's comment here, so keep it moving.

Try dey dey get sense small. Before someone comes out to air his problem publicly, he must be going through a lot.
Your own na just to add insult to injury.
I wonder how you relate with people in real life, both those in your class or lower than yours.

i really feel for the OP. Chat me up on Watsapp 07050975360 if you need a commission based passive income job. (Insurance Job precisely) whereby you can work from anywhere.

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

Chai. You hit the blocus directly...

so many whack advise that can not even buy peanut....brother getting a hand on money is all you need, and job hunting in abj will cause you more depression. I advise you look for a sight jab to do, at least that will guarantee you a daily return of about 3/4k pending when u get better job.

Acidosis:
Lol. You must have read too many stories about Abuja ladies Good to know you've seen your mistakes and prepared to rewrite your story. Doesn't matter what anyone says about your choice to relocate (even though we know your motives), but living with her has exposed issues you probably would never have known from a distant relationship.

But here is my advice: continue to play the role of a domestic staff if things are so bad right now. Do your cab hustle alongside and don't stop applying for job opportunities. Do this for, e.g. 6 months and if at the end of 6 months, you still can't land a good job, take whatever you've saved up from your domestic role/cab work and move back to Lagos.

A timeline should guide your choice of where to go/live at this point. The cab hustle is to help you save up while the domestic staff job is meant to reset your senses.

Sorry pls, what domestic staff job are talking about? Are imply the lady he is staying with should pay him.

Just pack your bags and start a long walk to freedom � Jah be with ye

Ishilove:
Hiaaaaan!

Take this lesson home: you call her 'evening newspaper' and say she is desperate, but she is a lot smarter than you with your puny preek, puny brain and gigantic ego. How can you relocate to leech off a woman without a plan B?? Who does that?

Haha

Sorry how old are you again? Like in this generation a full grown man like you will resign from your job because of woman wey you never marry as country hard like this weldone o Abraham of our time

Sorry Bro, but you were simply thinking with your third leg not your head nor your heart. Nobody does that

Switchman:
Please I Need Your Candid And Long Term Advise, I Am Presently Depressed And Out

This will be a lengthy one but I promise to summarize it as much as I can.

I met a lady in her late 30s 18months ago through an online friend. I was working in Lagos while she was based and working in Abuja.

We chatted for a while before she volunteered to come to Lagos for a visit over the weekend which doesn't seem a bad idea to me cos I believed seeing in person is better than 1 million pictures.

Due to her age and desperation, we met and she liked what she saw in me and intensive talks began on how I can relocate to Abuja and get better job. I actually haven't been to Abuja so I was excited to take that move with the hope of becoming a better person and getting a better job.

I resigned from my job due to some issues as at that time which could had been managed but so I can have more time to visit and see how things are in Abuja before making my final preparation to relocate. She supports financially during those time while I use my car for ehailing business pending when I will finally relocate.

Covid 19 lock down came and all plans were halted due to restrictions on vehicular movements. Fast forward to November last year I made final plans and I agreed to finally relocate but on the conditions that we will need to get a new apartment cos I don't want to move in with her to her former apartment which was a one room self contain, we got a 1 bedroom apartment and I moved in with her. She owns 90% stake on the expenses incurred but in the spirit of hope for a better job, I will upgrade the apartment to have an equal stake in the home.

It's been 3 months now I have fully relocated and we have been cohabiting but it's been hell for me and I just need help on how to get out of this mess I put myself. No job was forth coming and due to the fact that I am home always, I have been reduced to a house help cos I am the one doing the chores, cleaning the dishes and even my laundry though she pays for her own, so many other insults and atimes it's with exchanges of words before I can take a walk just to acclimatize myself with the terrains of the area.

It's really a bad experience for a man not to have a steady source of income cos in a twinkle of an eye the love will vanish.

I love the lifestyle of Abuja cos it is less stressful than Lagos and I will really like to get a good source of income so I can get my own apartment and be free from the shackles I put myself in the name of love.

I really need help now cos I know my days are numbered and it's a matter of time before she sends me packing cos I really don't have the right to the apartment. Please house, I need your candid advise on what to do and as always constructive criticism is allowed.

Thanks
Switchman

Come back to Lagos and start all over again.....

Forgive me.
But I think the problem is your mindset.
You believe you are now a househelp, because you are the one doing the chores.
What would you rather do since you now stay at home full-time?
Get a job if it makes you feel any better.
But learn to see things positively.