Copyright ©️ O.A Edimalo, 2021.
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TITLE: Sex On The Mountain.
GENRE: Humor, Erotica, Romance.
AUTHOR: O.A Edimalo

SEX ON THE MOUNTAIN

(Femi Kuti's - Look Around track plays in background as the electrifying melody from the saxophone plays for a while as the story begins).

You can imagine the sweet feeling as you're still in deep sleep at around 7 a.m and you have less important schedules to attend to, that was when my phone rang and I was forced to take the call to stop the cacophony of ringtones disturbing my sleep.

I looked at the screen. Wow, Mr. Bade, the man I met the previous day at a car stand where I went to get Car for a Client as I do Car Trades Online and Offline. In case you're ready or looking forward to getting a car, don't hesitate to contact me on my reach me through my contacts provided.

So I took the call in high expectations of a new deal as expected.

"Hello sir, Good morning", I greeted politely.
"Morning my dear, how're you?
"I'm fine sir".
"Hope how was your night?"
"It was fine sir"
"Hope you slept well?"
"Yes I did sir", was already tired of the long greetings but kept following.

"Emmm... I said let me hear your voice this morning", that sounds weird to me. A man like me calling to hear my voice this early morning. I cover my buttocks with the blood of Jesus. Wonders shall never end. Lol

"Ok sir, thank you so much" I played along to see if my doubts can be cleared and regarding my assumed client.
"You're welcome sweetheart", seems this man drank kerosene this early morning. Me sweetheart.
I kept calm.
"Have you eaten?" This time I couldn't take it.
"With due respect, sir, are you normal?" I sparked.
How can you be asking romantic questions?
Se man yi o ya were sha (hope this man is not mad).

He went ahead and schooled me how we Africans do have the wrong impression about such conversation within same-sex especially the Males. And that we're far behind exposure, unlike the Americans.

"Sir, hope you don't want to be unfortunate?" I Ranted.
He went ahead to persuade me. Confessing how he loved me at first sight, that I should calm down, he will take care of me. I ended the call on him and flung dropped my phone in shock.

I need to go back to sleep. This devil can't be the first person I'll talk to today. But what's happening, how did that man find me attractive when I don't wear skinny jeans. I don't catwalk. I walk like a normal and well-behaved young man. And I for no cause, do I apply lips balm, even during the harmattan season that I normally suffer severely cracked lips. And to top it all, I love girls with big ass. Oh, my Gawd! I don't joke with girls with big ass.
"So, where's this coming from," I thought.
God punish devil,

So, I took my phone, went online on the internet to get updated. The whole of Nigeria was already burning on Twitter. I never thought the End Sars protest initiated by some activist could pull out that massive crowd. All blogs and online forums were buzzing.

I called Mike, a close friend of mine who was born and brought up in Lagos but now based in Abuja to know if he was at home at the time because he always craves a setting for the display of thuggery. So, He might've joined the protest. He's a Lagos breed so don't be surprised. Abuja is just taming him. Lol

"Howfar alaye... Where you dey" I asked
"I dey Berger bridge like this, I dey Endsars protest", he exclaimed due to the noisy area he was.

"I dey come, hope to say everywhere good", I asked.
"E clear! E clear! Dey come",

I stood up and quickly had a shower. I wore my jogging kit, should in case it's time for a marathon so I can be able to gbe body. And also spray my nice Tom Ford Noir Extreme perfume and brushed my hair cos of perceived I might bump into someone I know and also to chyke any heavy-duty I come across. Me I like woman, I dey straight forward (in Tuface's voice) lol

I drove down. It's wasn't easy getting there due to traffic jams cashed by the massive protest. I shaa got there.

Oya! Announcement! announcement!
If you get a woman, hold am tight oh!
There's a Yoruba demon in the street!
Dori me
Interimo ayapare, dorime
Ameno, ameno
Latire, latiremo
Dori me!

E.R.A - Dorime plays in the background as the Finest Chocolate boy makes his massive entrance.
Come and see how people were so excited, jumping, screaming, girls pulling me, some girls were fainting, some begging for my autograph to be signed on their boobs and booty. Many guys wanna be me at that moment.
I know haters will say it's a lie... Were you there? Enemy of progress... Lol

Omo see babes, it wasn't like that of Lagos, Warri, and other states. There was coordination. No vandalization at the time compared to the videos I've been seeing online about the Lagos, Delta, and other state ongoing protest. There's was more or less like a War. Hoodlums everywhere destroying people's property and carting away lots of valuables.

C'mon those Lagos boys get mind!
Burning police stations and Cars. Even Tinubu took to his heels. Kikiki

Omo We dey our Abuja oh!
The protest is like Obi Cubana's mother's burial.
Guys are spaying money. Buying drinks. Babes dance to good music and enjoying themselves.

....TBC

OfficialEdimalo:
SEX ON THE MOUNTAIN

(Femi Kuti's - Look Around track plays in background for a while as the story begins).

You can imagine the sweet feeling as you're still in deep sleep at around 7 a.m and you have less important schedules to attend to, that was when my phone rang and I was forced to take the call to stop the cacophony of ringtones disturbing my sleep.

I looked at the screen. Wow, Mr. Bade, the man I met the previous day at a car stand where I went to get Car for a Client as I do Car Trades Online and Offline. In case you're ready or looking forward to getting a car, don't hesitate to contact me on my reach me through my contacts provided.

So I took the call in high expectations of a new deal as expected.

"Hello sir, Good morning", I greeted politely.
"Morning my dear, how're you?
"I'm fine sir".
"Hope how was your night?"
"It was fine sir"
"Hope you slept well?"
"Yes I did sir", was already tired of the long greetings but kept following.

"Emmm... I said let me hear your voice this morning", that sounds weird to me. A man like me calling to hear my voice this early morning. I cover my buttocks with the blood of Jesus. Wonders shall never end. Lol

"Ok sir, thank you so much" I played along to see if my doubts can be cleared and regarding my assumed client.
"You're welcome sweetheart", seems this man drank kerosene this early morning. Me sweetheart.
I kept calm.
"Have you eaten?" This time I couldn't take it.
"With due respect, sir, are you normal?" I sparked.
How can you be asking romantic questions?
Se man yi o ya were sha (hope this man is not mad).

He went ahead and schooled me how we Africans do have the wrong impression about such conversation within same-sex especially the Males. And that we're far behind exposure, unlike the Americans.

"Sir, hope you don't want to be unfortunate?" I Ranted.
He went ahead to persuade me. Confessing how he loved me at first sight, that I should calm down, he will take care of me. I ended the call on him and flung dropped my phone in shock.

I need to go back to sleep. This devil can't be the first person I'll talk to today. But what's happening, how did that man find me attractive when I don't wear skinny jeans. I don't catwalk. I walk like a normal and well-behaved young man. And I for no cause, do I apply lips balm, even during the harmattan season that I normally suffer severely cracked lips. And to top it all, I love girls with big ass. Oh, my Gawd! I don't joke with girls with big ass.
"So, where's this coming from," I thought.
God punish devil,

So, I took my phone, went online on the internet to get updated. The whole of Nigeria was already burning on Twitter. I never thought the End Sars protest initiated by some activist could pull out that massive crowd. All blogs and online forums were buzzing.

I called Mike, a close friend of mine who was born and brought up in Lagos but now based in Abuja to know if he was at home at the time because he always craves a setting for the display of thuggery. So, He might've joined the protest. He's a Lagos breed so don't be surprised. Abuja is just taming him. Lol

"Howfar alaye... Where you dey" I asked
"I dey Berger bridge like this, I dey Endsars protest", he exclaimed due to the noisy area he was.

"I dey come, hope to say everywhere good", I asked.
"E clear! E clear! Dey come",

I stood up and quickly had a shower. I wore my jogging kit, should in case it's time for a marathon so I can be able to gbe body. And also spray my nice Tom Ford Noir Extreme perfume and brushed my hair cos of perceived I might bump into someone I know and also to chyke any heavy-duty I come across. Me I like woman, I dey straight forward (in Tuface's voice) lol

I drove down. It's wasn't easy getting there due to traffic jams cashed by the massive protest. I shaa got there.

Oya! Announcement! announcement!
If you get a woman, hold am tight oh!
There's a Yoruba demon in the street!
Dori me
Interimo ayapare, dorime
Ameno, ameno
Latire, latiremo
Dori me!

E.R.A - Dorime plays in the background as the Finest Chocolate boy makes his massive entrance.
Come and see how people were so excited, jumping, screaming, girls pulling me, some girls were fainting, some begging for my autograph to be signed on their boobs and booty. Many guys wanna be me at that moment.
I know haters will say it's a lie... Were you there? Enemy of progress... Lol

Omo see babes, it wasn't like that of Lagos, Warri, and other states. There was coordination. No vandalization at the time compared to the videos I've been seeing online about the Lagos, Delta, and other state ongoing protest. There's was more or less like a War. Hoodlums everywhere destroying people's property and carting away lots of valuables.

C'mon those Lagos boys get mind!
Burning police stations and Cars. Even Tinubu took to his heels. Kikiki

Omo We dey our Abuja oh!
The protest is like Obi Cubana's mother's burial.
Guys are spaying money. Buying drinks. Babes dance to good music and enjoying themselves.

....TBC

Hmm
Next episode

Keep me Comments coming.

I hope someone is waiting for the conclusion.

Part 2

Funny how they blocked a whole federal road that has been busy for many decades and turned it to a football pitch while vehicles were forced to pack till the protest is over. Even the President Can't do that. No! Naija youths get levels! Lol

Oyah! See what I love eating everywhere. Heavy heavy duties. There were so friendly and ready to flirt. Omo let's collect numbers first and see how it goes. That was how I filled my contact list with names stored like "Benita protest, Becky boobs protest, Sandra Protest" and so many of them. I saved not less than 20 contacts that day. It was like a sea of babes. Dem Choke!

It is funny how a girl said her name is Jennifer and TrueCaller app showed Sukura when I dialed the number. Imagine Zamfara girl want to claim Jennifer on my hand but I'm serving a living God who saved me from Karashika. Kikiki

All this while, I've not linked up with Mike and he didn't even bother to call. It was later when we mater linked up, he gisted me how he hosted a program at the back seat of his Car Lexus Rx 350, as he pinned one Calabar and they both struggled for more than 1hour.

"Baba prepares money for new engine," I said jokingly.
I've never had sex in the Car. I always have this superstition that Having Sex in the Car can lead to Ghastly Motor accident aftermath. But when it comes to Sex on the Beach, Sex in the Pool, Sex in the Bush, Sex on the Bridge, Sex on the Mountain, Sex in the Kitchen, Sex on in the ceiling, sex on the roof, and many more. I rule those niches. Kikiki

"Hope say you use condom?" I asked anxiously.
"Fulltime", he replied.

Fast-forward, about 5 Coaster Bus drove into the midst of a crowd filled with unknown men with planks, Daggers, axe, guns, and all sorts of weapons you can imagine. They were hoodlums. Everyone fled for their dear life. I ran towards my car and Mike ran to his. A girl ran towards me begging for safety. I quickly opened the backseat and she hops in. I drove amidst Cars and was brushed severally. I succeeded in driving out of the midst of cars as many cars collided with each other.

I drove so fast till I was far from the scene. I quickly called Mike.

"Oboi Howfar, where you dey?" I panicked.
"I don discharge oh, I dey that expressway"
"Me sef don move"
"Oya, we go meet for area"

I hang up and look sideways. The girl was so in panic at the back seat.
"Calm down, nothing is happening. We've survived already".
"Ok, thank you much, I'm so grateful"
"So what's your name", I asked focusing on the starring.
"I'm Philomena", she answered politely.
"Phi-o-m-e-na". I pronounced romantically.
"Where do you live," I asked in concern.
"I live in Kubwa", she answered.
"Wow, I live around Airport Road", I said
"You stay alone?"
"No, I live with my Sister".

Seems I just won myself a Grammy as I picked my question one after the other. I'm already plotting my graph on how to convince her to follow me home.

Abi she dey mad ni? She go follow! Fine boy like us. We no dey too look for woman like that... Nah dem dey... Na dem dey rush us... (In Chalse Inojie's Voice) kikiki

Fast forward, she accepted to follow the sugar boy me. I drove so fast as I entertain her with some Omah Lay classics. Lo Lo Lo Lo Plays as I nod my head as we both sing along...

Go tell all your friends, I love them too!
I look nice but I'm not so so good!
I gat something I just want to prove!
Can you get yourself inside my room?

Let me show you something (something you will appreciate ohh!)
Let me show you something
Ahh...!!! (something you might never want to say noo!)

Let me show you something (something that will take away your sorrow
Let me show you something
Let me show you some good

Lo lo lo
Lo lo lo

Funny enough, the music is just a teaser to her of what's gonna go down tonight. And it's a track from Omah Lay's Studio Album titled "Get Layd". One thing about me is I love communicating with music. She's gonna Get Laid... Kikiki

We got home. I horned and the gateman hurriedly opened the gate. I dropped and opened the door for her to come down while the music still plays. It was as if we were shooting the Music video. Clarence Peters as the Director. Kikiki

I locked the car and we went in...

"Your apartment is nice", she complimented as she looked around in awe.
"Thank you so much", I said with a deep smile. Starring at her and winks.

I walked to the fridge and serve her a chilled bottle of Andre Wine with a glass.

"Wow, thank you so much", She said with a smile.
"You're welcome", I responded warmly.

I walked into the bedroom. Now the real me. I arranged my scattered bed and planted a condom under the pillow which's the right perfect position for it. Sprayed some air freshener to give the room a nice atmosphere and switched on the blue wall bracket light.

I quickly took a shower and put on white Calvin Klein boxers and wore my night rob.

I walked into the Sitting Room feeling fresh and fly. Called her into the bedroom. And we both sat on the bed and talked for some time before they asked to take a shower. I pointed the bathroom door to her. She Requested one of my T-shirts, I gave her one and she went into the bathroom.

Uncle was just calculating and thinking how this program is gonna hold. This one I'm giving her a classic package, make baby no go love up oh, con say she wan turn Mario for my house... I go give I'm run. Kikiki

I quickly connected my phone to my JBL Bluetooth speaker in my bedroom and bless the atmosphere with a Wizkid classic from his Made In Lagos Album, Essence Feat. Tems. The rhythm pleased the atmosphere as she stepped out of the bathroom.

"Say I wanna leave you in the mornin'
But I need you now, yeah, yeah
I find you, I give you all you needin'
I know what you like
I feel it comin'
Time is of the essence"

She looked at me as she walked and confessed the song to be her favorite of the moment as she vibed to the rhythm and I moved closer to her as she twerked gently. I held her from behind and we both enjoyed the moment.

"You don't need no other body
You don't need no other body
Only you fi hold my body
Only you fi hold my body
You don't need no other body"

From behind, I smooched her gently, turn her and tap her nipple as she moaned. She dragged her hand down to my dick and rubbed it thoroughly as I felt cold in my feet. She pushed me to the bed and walked gently to me and brought out dick from my boxers and gave me a Mouth Action as my feet stretched in much pleasure.

She spat on it and sucked thoroughly as I moan gently.
She stopped and strip and I did the same. She went ahead of me and insert my erect dick into her set pussy and ride gently as she moans.

The Music lyrics gave more taste to the pleasure.

Wizkid - Sweet One.

(Hook)
"Whine up 'til morning, oh yeah (whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah)
I've been needing your love
You know, o po por por (please, baby please, baby please yeah)
Je ko por por por
Girl show your mercy, girl, on me so, whoa, whoa yeah
I've been needing your love
You know, o po por por, je ko por por por"

Wow, the pleasure was too much for me. We locked lips and kissed for about 5munites as she rides and whined on my dick, I bleeped her so hard afterward and she moaned melodiously.

This sex is out of the world. So many things that I wished for that night. We went from round to rounds and we got really tired. We slept like lovers that night.

In the morning, Auntie didn't want to go again oh. I've given her a premium TLC and she is already into me. She can't control it anymore. Stayboy like me. Kikiki

I dropped the pen...

(Wizkid - Sweet One plays till light fades)

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