Sometime ago, a certain lady came complaining very bitterly to me saying, "Meshach, I don't know what's wrong with my boyfriend, recently. His act shows he is either tired of the relationship or is seeing someone else. Could you imagine that for over two weeks now, I have not seen his calls, or messages in my phone? Seriously I find it extremely hard to understand why a guy that says he loves a woman wouldn't pick up his phone and hear from her." She said with a frown.

"That's too bad." I said, and then proceeded to ask her, "But sister, if I may ask you, when last did you call him?

"Ah, me call him? Of course it is the duty of man who says he loves a woman to call that woman. Meshach, I don't have credit to call guys. Besides, once he starts seeing my calls often, he would think I'm desperate for love. I don't want him to know that I love him that much, before he'll start taking advantage of it."

To say I was shocked on hearing her poured out these words would be an understatement. Seriously speaking I was bemused.

"You mean for these past two weeks you just sat down waiting for his calls, without you calling to know how he's fairing?" I asked in bewilderment.

"C'mon sister," I said, "a relationship ought not be one-sided, nor gender base. Anybody can pick up the phone and call the other person. Besides, what if I tell you that he may possibly be going through some stuff as we talk, that's why he hasn't been calling? You never can tell what he is facing. In fact, let me shock you with this. He may be feeling the same way you are feeling now. Yes! He may feel you don't care nor love him for not seeing your call all this while. Sister, I implore you to call him. A relationship without communication is not a relationship. And communication doesn't come from just one side. Any of you can call at any given time. There's no law that says the male is to call, while the female is to receive calls."

After I said all these, her expression changed from anger to guilt.

Without much ado, she picked up her phone right there, and called the boyfriend.

Nevertheless, someone else picked the call, telling her that the boyfriend was very down, and that he was at the hospital, at the time.

This lady couldn't believe she had been castigating someone she thinks doesn't love her, when in essence the person had been fighting for his life. What a presumption...

*********

This is the exact situation of things in our nowadays relationships, where the ladies think it is solely the duty of a guy in a relationship to do some certain things.

I was with a certain girl sometime ago, who had an airtime of about 600 naira in her phone, and wanted to hear from a certain guy - whom I don't know if he was her boyfriend, or not.

But then to my greatest surprise, instead of this girl calling the guy with her airtime, she rather flashed his number.

"Sist, you have airtime; why are you flashing him?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Me call him? Meshach this card is not for guys. I don't use my airtime to call guys." She said beaming with million smiles.

Seriously, I must confess that I was flabbergasted.

No is a pity that most ladies have been brainwashed to accept this fallacy or wrong notion that it is the duty of a man to do everything in a union.

If they have a birthday, they expect a gift from the man(of course this is not bad). And if the guy in the relationship also has a birthday to celebrate, they (ladies) still want him to buy them something.

The man continuously gift them on festivals(christmas and the likes), but they can't think of doing same to him.

The believe is that it is the duty of a man to give, while it is the duty of a woman to receive.

And this is the reason why we have shaking marriages today.

We have women who carried this notion from the relationship phase to their marriage, believing that the man is the sole provider.

If the gas in the home gets finished, they would ring the man in the office.

The children are driven home for school fees, they'll call the man.

They'll call the man for electricity bills security bill, and what have you. Even for ordinary maggi, salt, pepper etc, they'll run to the man.

This is not the absence of the fact that they have the money. They may have the money on them...but they'll never be satisfied, not until it comes from the man's pocket.

They'll rather choose to die in hunger, than use their money to do something in the house.

Such a union is a very deadly one. Yeah! It is nothing but a parasitic relationship where the host is continuously drained by the parasite.

What do you now think happens when the host is exhausted from the draining? Of course he would die.

So can you now see why men die of high blood pressure? Can you see the reason the life expectancy of women is longer than that of men?

Can you see the reason why we have a lot of widows in the society?

Can you see the reason why we have multifarious cases of divorce?

Sorry to say this...most women are the witches killing their husbands, and not one old woman in the village they do lay accusing fingers at.

Yes! Death cases, divorce cases, and the likes would reduce to the barest minimum if and only if the woman can take up her role in a union.

A man that is supported by his wife is likely to live longer than the one who carries the whole family load on his head.

Women, know this today, that men cry also. Even if you can't see their tears, their souls cry.

If you are a woman out there, be it one in a relationship or marriage, support your man with the little you have.

On your/his birthday, surprise him with something. Call him when you miss him. Send him airtime and cash when he is financially down.

Dear women...you were created to be a pillar in the home. And you'll agree with me that a pillar gives support.

Don't just fold your hands and start assuming that the man has heaven and earth, even when he is struggling. Don't sit there thinking he doesnt love you any longer just because he hasn't called. You never can tell what he is facing.

Assumption is a killer. Don't let it control your union.

Just before I drop the pen at this juncture, I wouldn't hesitate to say that...You are not in that man's life to make him miserable, but rather make him better than you met him.

Yes! Be the reason why your man smiles, lives longer and happily.

My Earnest Desire Is To See Marriages Void Of Divorce, To See Our Men Live Longer And Happily And To See Every Home Out There, Beaming With Smiles.
But This Can Only Happen When The Both Parties Support Each Other.

Remain Blessed And Do Have A Nice Day Ahead.

From Your Favourite Inspirational Writer, Meshach O. Ogbiki

It takes two to tango

The easiest way to bring insults and insanity into your life is to be in a relationship with a Nigerian girl.

I started experiencing peace of mind ever since I stopped broke and wretched girls having access to my glorious gbola.

Interesting..

Nigeria ladies will avoid this thread.. though few from rich or comfortable backgrounds make life easy for their men.....if you need real love from nija gals, just try the ones from comfortable backgrounds and THANK ME LATER