A Blond comes home early one day and finds her husband in bed with another woman. She tiptoes downstairs, finds hispistol, and returns to the bedroom door.Her husband, who is still at it, looks up to she her pointing the pistol at her own head. He shouts "don't do it baby" to which she replies, "shut up, you bastard!You're next!".

A group of whitemen visited a very typical 9ja village and saw the villagers packing bricks.what fascinated the whitemen was the long distance the villagers covered from where they carried the bricks to the packing site andthe fact that, each man carried a brick on his head.the whitemen sympathised with the villagers and introduced a wheelbarrow to the village and left the village. . .the whitemen returned to the village in a months time and realised the work rate of packing the bricks had slowed!"even with a wheelbarrow?" one whiteman thought. . .The whitemen eventually understood why the work had slowed when they sawan on-coming wheelbarrow with one man pushing it with another man carrying a brick seated in the wheelbarrow!

Akpan was sent to deliver a live chicken in Lagos. On his way a careless okada made him to fall off d bike. The chicken immediately ran off. When Akpan saw the chicken running away, he started laughing. And when asked why he was laughing, he said "see this Mumu chicken , where does she know in Lagos when the address is with me?

A Crowd Gathered At An Accident Scene And A Smart And Nosey Journalist Wanted To Get D Story First Hand."Make Way, I Am D Victim's Son" He Shouted, Slowly D Crowd Paved Way For Him, On Getting There,Lying Lifeless,In Front Of D Car Was A Goat

A 9ja boy in Europe called his mum & told her dat he just contacted HIV-AIDS. His mother knelt down & started begging him not to ever come back home, He simply asked why & his mum said, if you come back, ur wife go get HIV too, she go pass am to John, your younger broda. If John get am, dat means our house girl don get am, she self go pass am to ur papa, this means I go get am too. As I get am so, our driverdon get, n thru Mike our driver, ur sister don get am.

Parrot swallowed viagra. Disgusted owner put it in the freezer 2 cool off. Later,owner opened freezer n found parrot sweating profusely-He asked,"How come you are sweating?" Parrot replied "Do you know how fucking hard it is 2 open d legs of a frozen chicken?! "

There was a man, who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money,And was a real miser when it came to hismoney.Just before he died, he said to his wife, 'When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. Iwant to take my money to the afterlife with me. 'And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.Well, he died.He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there - dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,'Wait just a moment!'She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.So her friend said,'Girl, I know you were not foolish enough to put all that money in there with your husband.'The loyal wife replied,'Listen, I'm a Christian; I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.'You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?''I sure did,' said the wife.'I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque,If he can cash it, then he can spend it.'

Husband comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to his Bedroom. From under the blanket he sees four legs instead of two. He reaches for a Baseball Bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as he can. Once he's done, he goes to the kitchen to have a drink. As he enters, he sees his wife there, reading a magazine."Hi Darling", she says, "Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom. Hope you have said Hello ?

Two men waiting at the pearly gates strike up a conversation. "How'd you die?" the first man asks the second. "I froze to death," says the second. "That's awful, how does it feel to freeze to death?" says the first. "It's very uncomfortable at first, you get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping.How did you die?" says the second. "I had a heart attack", says the first guy."You see, I knew my wife was cheating onme, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic,and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died." The second man shakes his head. "that's so ironic" he says. "What do you mean?" asks the firstman "If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both still be alive."

I was coming home saturday evening after a hectic day and found a small bag on the ground. I opened it and behold what I found inside; $20,000 dollars!! Fear first catch me, but I took the bag home and when ...I emptied It, I found some Documents, ID card, ATM card and an Iphone. I thought about throwing the sim away and keep the phone and also dispose the documents and keep the money. After a long thought, I decided to leave things as they were, hoping that the owner would call. Not long after a call came through on the Iphone, I picked and talked with the caller. Apparently it was the owner of the bag coz he named absolutely every content of the bag. We met afterwards and i handed him the bag. he offered me $2,000 dollars but I turned it down , he collected my number and i left. Yesterday he called me and offered me a job at Chevron worth 750,000 Naira: per month, a 3 bedroom flat fully furnished, and a 2012 BMW X6 As I was smiling and testing the car my brother just slapped me and said "Oya Oya Oya Ofego Wake up!! Food is ready!"
-:[

I was coming home saturday
evening
after a hectic day and found a
small bag on
the ground. I opened it and behold
what I
found inside; $20,000 dollars!! Fear
first
catch me, but I took the bag home
and
when ...I emptied It, I found some
Documents, ID card, ATM card and
an Iphone.
I thought about
throwing the sim away and keep
the phone
and also dispose the documents
and keep
the money. After a long thought, I
decided to
leave things as they were, hoping
that the
owner would call.
Not long after a call came through
on the
Iphone, I picked and talked with
the caller.
Apparently it was the owner of the
bag coz
he named absolutely every content
of the
bag. We met afterwards and i
handed him
the bag. he offered me $2,000
dollars but I
turned it down , he collected my
number
and
i left.
Yesterday he called me and
offered me a
job
at Chevron worth 750,000 Naira:
per month,
a 3 bedroom flat fully furnished,
and a 2012
BMW X6
As I was smiling and testing the
car my brother just slapped me
and said
"Oya Oya Oya Ofego Wake up!!
Food is ready!"